Tag: love

Preparation

“Be prepared” is the classic Boy Scout motto, and what good advice that is for just about every circumstance! Planning ahead with possible options can bring a better outcome in most situations, and replace anxiety and flustered reactions with more helpful responses. This has been brought home to me in two particular arenas lately.

Number one was the planned visit to Grandpa, who had been seriously injured in a recent car accident. The kids, 5 and 7, were the apple of his eye, and shared a beautiful close relationship with lots of time together in overnights and adventures. Now Grandpa was in the hospital, and for the first two weeks unable to have children for visitors. Week three brought the opportunity for a visit, and the first thought was how the kids would react to seeing Grandpa with multiple serious injuries, in a hospital bed, with tubes in his head and a ventilator to breathe. I was so blessed to witness how their Dad prepared them for what could be a shocking and unsettling meeting. He took lots of photos of the hospital, of all the apparatus, and of Grandpa in bed, and then called the kids to his side to show them what to expect. He gently and carefully explained the different medical devices, assuring them that Grandpa was doing ok, and how the different tubes and bandages were helping him. He reminded them of how happy he would be to have them visit, altho he might be a little confused or unable to respond well. Questions were answered with patience and clarity, with honesty, all wrapped in so much love and tenderness! It almost brings tears to my eyes to remember it! And the visit went very well; Grandpa cried a little, but cupped a small hand in his, and was so grateful to see them, as they were to be with him. Then Grandma offered cookies and coloring pages, and they all just shared some time together in the hospital room. What a blessing for all of them to be together in the hospital room, filled with family love!

Number two is just beginning, as our own kids have just received news that their Dad, 18 months into a cancer journey, found out that it was time for hospice. No more medical treatments would be attempted, and the prognosis was only weeks, or perhaps months, rather than the anticipated year or two (or maybe more?) How do we prepare for this?


Our culture is so geared toward silence about mortality, and focused on all the things to do to be healthy. Nutrition and exercise programs, Vitamin supplements and gyms abound, which are all good things, but have perhaps gone a bit out of balance in our society. We are creatures of body and spirit; what are we doing to prepare our spirit, our soul?


When my brother died of cancer 30 years ago, his daughter compiled a book from the journal entries; letters and poems their family wrote during the eleven months from diagnosis to death, and time of grieving after his death. Their reliance on God’s love and companionship was the constant thread that helped to sustain them in that time. Re-reading that book is one of the ways I’ve found helpful to move forward in this current journey. The book FINAL GIFTS by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley, two hospice nurses, has also been a great help. I had re-visited this book shortly after we learned of Dad’s cancer, and offered it to the kids as a help in advance of that final parting from this life. As a hospice volunteer for 20 years, the Lord had gifted me with witnessing so many blessings in walking with families through these final days of their loved ones’ lives. The difference I noted between families of faith, and those without it, was very evident. Less chaos, less fear and anxiety, better relationships were some of the positive factors that were apparent. How grateful I am that God has been preparing me in advance for the time we will all face, and hopefully to help others too, to respond in ways that bring peace and healing to all of us.


“Be prepared!” We’ll never be completely prepared for an unexpected diagnosis or accident, but we can always turn to the One Who is never surprised, knowing that He will always be with us, helping us to find the blessings that are present even in the hard times.

Lord God, thank You for your ever present help in all circumstances! Thank you for providing people and resources to aid us on the journey, ultimately bringing us Home to you. May we receive the peace and freedom from fear that this assurance brings, and share Your light with others as we walk together…

67) Self-reliance or Surrender

Self-reliance, or Surrender?

     I’m watching my grandchildren as they’re learning how to do things for themselves, growing in confidence as they manage simple tasks like drinking from a cup and using eating utensils.  Their achievements are met with encouragement and praise with each new skill mastered.  Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, all smile and applaud as the little ones soak in the love that is being showered upon them, helping them to risk trying the next challenge presented.  “Good job, Honey!”  “Way to go, Buddy!”  And as the kids are becoming more and more articulate, we hear “I did it!,” accompanied by a well deserved smile and self-satisfaction.

     In the world of faith my focus has become self-surrender, as the Word “without Me, you can do nothing,” (John 15:5)  echoes often in my thoughts.  I’m wondering how this transition takes place, and thinking it needs to begin right at the start.  Helping the little ones know that everything good comes from the Creator, from the Good God Who loves them and gives them the ability to do anything.  Knowing that He created us to learn and to grow, to use the gifts He’s given us, and that indeed all is gift from Him.  And to know too how pleased He is with their abilities and progress, that He too is cheering them on, and whispering “God job, My beloved daughter!” And “Way to go, beloved child of My Heart!”  My own heart desires to hear them respond, “See what God has helped me to do!”  And to know in their hearts that He is their constant help, that their accomplishments are pleasing to Him, and that He is always looking at them with love and encouragement.

     I recently heard Debbie Herbeck share how she encouraged her daughters, beginning at age 3, to look in the mirror each morning and repeat, “I am a beloved daughter of God.”  To teach them right from the start that they have been created by a Good God, Who loves them unconditionally, and will help them do all that they ever need to do, so they may become all they have been created to be.

     One of the primary obstacles to union with God is said to be “self-reliance.”  How we need to teach the little ones the necessary skills to master as they grow, within the framework of God’s provision.  As they grow, to help them to grasp the gift of the Holy Spirit Who enables them to function beyond their natural abilities, and accomplish “exceedingly abundantly beyond all we ask or imagine,” (Eph 3:20), all for the Glory of God!

     It seems it goes back to recognizing that they are not doing anything alone, but always with the help of the Good God who loves them.  As I’m becoming more aware of my own littleness, of my own nothingness, perhaps this reflection is for me.  I’m that little child, weak and helpless, but empowered by the very Holy Spirit Who raised Jesus from the tomb!

“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. (Rom 8:11)  Praise God  Who calls me to be always God-reliant and not self-reliant!  

     Lord God, thank you for reminding me of Your ever-present help and strength to do all You ask of me, as I watch our grandchildren learning new skills.  May we all know that indeed nothing is possible without You, not even the next breath we take, that we may live in the attitude of gratitude for all that you enable us to do and be, for Your praise and Glory…