“Be prepared” is the classic Boy Scout motto, and what good advice that is for just about every circumstance! Planning ahead with possible options can bring a better outcome in most situations, and replace anxiety and flustered reactions with more helpful responses. This has been brought home to me in two particular arenas lately.
Number one was the planned visit to Grandpa, who had been seriously injured in a recent car accident. The kids, 5 and 7, were the apple of his eye, and shared a beautiful close relationship with lots of time together in overnights and adventures. Now Grandpa was in the hospital, and for the first two weeks unable to have children for visitors. Week three brought the opportunity for a visit, and the first thought was how the kids would react to seeing Grandpa with multiple serious injuries, in a hospital bed, with tubes in his head and a ventilator to breathe. I was so blessed to witness how their Dad prepared them for what could be a shocking and unsettling meeting. He took lots of photos of the hospital, of all the apparatus, and of Grandpa in bed, and then called the kids to his side to show them what to expect. He gently and carefully explained the different medical devices, assuring them that Grandpa was doing ok, and how the different tubes and bandages were helping him. He reminded them of how happy he would be to have them visit, altho he might be a little confused or unable to respond well. Questions were answered with patience and clarity, with honesty, all wrapped in so much love and tenderness! It almost brings tears to my eyes to remember it! And the visit went very well; Grandpa cried a little, but cupped a small hand in his, and was so grateful to see them, as they were to be with him. Then Grandma offered cookies and coloring pages, and they all just shared some time together in the hospital room. What a blessing for all of them to be together in the hospital room, filled with family love!
Number two is just beginning, as our own kids have just received news that their Dad, 18 months into a cancer journey, found out that it was time for hospice. No more medical treatments would be attempted, and the prognosis was only weeks, or perhaps months, rather than the anticipated year or two (or maybe more?) How do we prepare for this?
Our culture is so geared toward silence about mortality, and focused on all the things to do to be healthy. Nutrition and exercise programs, Vitamin supplements and gyms abound, which are all good things, but have perhaps gone a bit out of balance in our society. We are creatures of body and spirit; what are we doing to prepare our spirit, our soul?
When my brother died of cancer 30 years ago, his daughter compiled a book from the journal entries; letters and poems their family wrote during the eleven months from diagnosis to death, and time of grieving after his death. Their reliance on God’s love and companionship was the constant thread that helped to sustain them in that time. Re-reading that book is one of the ways I’ve found helpful to move forward in this current journey. The book FINAL GIFTS by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley, two hospice nurses, has also been a great help. I had re-visited this book shortly after we learned of Dad’s cancer, and offered it to the kids as a help in advance of that final parting from this life. As a hospice volunteer for 20 years, the Lord had gifted me with witnessing so many blessings in walking with families through these final days of their loved ones’ lives. The difference I noted between families of faith, and those without it, was very evident. Less chaos, less fear and anxiety, better relationships were some of the positive factors that were apparent. How grateful I am that God has been preparing me in advance for the time we will all face, and hopefully to help others too, to respond in ways that bring peace and healing to all of us.
“Be prepared!” We’ll never be completely prepared for an unexpected diagnosis or accident, but we can always turn to the One Who is never surprised, knowing that He will always be with us, helping us to find the blessings that are present even in the hard times.
Lord God, thank You for your ever present help in all circumstances! Thank you for providing people and resources to aid us on the journey, ultimately bringing us Home to you. May we receive the peace and freedom from fear that this assurance brings, and share Your light with others as we walk together…
Spiritual Sun Pennies 