Musings – Spiritual Sun Pennies

105) Pentecost Today!

Our parish participated in the Renew program, and it was a real blessing to many of us. It reawakened our faith, with a new and deeper desire to live the Gospel life. One part of the program was a large group gathering with speakers from the diocese doing a presentation.

There weren’t very many of us there that night, and the couple presenting said they felt led to change their original presentation. The core of the message they felt led to give was how to fulfill the desire within you to experience God’s power in your life.

I knew that something was missing in my spiritual life. All of my life I had been trying to live the Christian life, but it was obvious to me that something was lacking – my walk was so far from the Gospel life I desired. I listened intently to the words I hoped would bring me the answer I sought.

The couple said, if you want to experience the power of God in your life, do three things:

pray
get to know Jesus personally
invite the Holy Spirit into your life

I could remember a simple formula like that, so first, I made a commitment to spend 15 minutes a day in prayer. Secondly, I had been teaching 3rd grade CCD, and the need came for a 7th grade teacher. I agreed, and found that the 7th grade curriculum centered on the life of Jesus. Third, a prayer to the Holy Spirit literally fell out of two different books at me! So I began to pray that prayer daily also.

In our Renew group, I had begun to recognize more clearly the difference between my walk and my talk, especially in the matter of prayer. I talked about it a lot, taught it to the kids, but wasn’t consistent in my own prayer life. One of the ladies in the Renew group was a member of a charismatic prayer group that had formed in our parish to pray for Renew – so I joined them. I also joined a Moms in Touch prayer group that met weekly to pray for our kids and the schools. The three points were in place now, and I found a gradual sense of growth in my faith life. It made a huge jump when our prayer group went through a Life in the Spirit video seminar, and I was prayed for to receive the baptism in the Holy Spirit. The Lord had been preparing my heart, and I was finally ready to give Him a solid Yes.

I experienced what have been almost universally agreed as fruits of receiving the baptism in the Holy Spirit. My knowledge of God’s deep love for me moved from just in my mind into my heart; the desire to pray grew stronger; I had a desire to read the Scriptures, and they came alive for me in a new way; the Mass became more meaningful; and perhaps most noticeable was a gift of courage to do things that I had always been fearful of before. To speak before a group, even a small group of people I knew, would paralyze me, whereas now I found myself taking on leadership roles and speaking in front of people with an inner strength that wasn’t my own.

I realized that although I had been trying so very hard to live the Christian life, I had been doing it in my own power, which was painfully inadequate. The Lord was showing me how to begin to live it in the power of the Holy Spirit. There’s still so very much more to grow into, but I’m incredibly grateful for the gift of the Holy Spirit to lead me on the way!

Lord God, thank You for the gift of the Holy Spirit! Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of the faithful and kindle in us the fire of Your love. Send forth Your Spirit, and we shall be created, and You shall renew the faith of the earth…

(Re-print from March 2023)

104) License Plates

As I’ve become more aware of the Lord’s hand in every detail of my life, each day brings promises of surprises that are often new lessons to be learned. With this in mind, I had been eagerly watching the mailbox for the license plates to arrive for our new van – I knew the letters and numbers the Lord would put there would not be random, but rather a secret message from the Lord for us to unravel! The day arrived and as the plates were removed from their envelope, the combination PBX300 was revealed – now to decipher the code!

The first part, PBX, jumped out at me instantly – X of course stood for Christ, from the Greek letter X, or Chi – Christos – the Anointed One. PB offered two possibilities – Praise Be to Christ was the first one that offered itself, especially as I’ve become so aware of the priority of Praise as a foundation of our faith.

The second option of course is Peanut Butter, and this was an even more personal message – the mainstay of our lunch for years has been PBJs, so peanut butter and Christ is even more logical – to keep Christ in the very center of our lives, right in the common and ordinariness of lunch. This was a message I often needed to remember, that to find our Lord we need go no farther than the kitchen, and among the most mundane elements of our living – the sacred in the homeliness of our everyday existence. Sometimes I forget and want to run out to find the Lord in all those mountain top experiences, when in reality He remains so very much present right in the humdrum of our lives.

Considering the idea of peanut butter and Christ presents a very important lesson too – Humor! I can’t look at the plate without smiling, thinking how silly it would appear to many to hear this “code de-ciphering” – and to me too – it brings a smile to my lips whenever I think of it, and a lightness to my heart, and another reminder to take myself less seriously, yet to seriously keep the Lord at the center of our lives!

The number 300 offered extra options too – the first focusing on the number 3, for the Trinity! and the 00 are the eyes of the Holy Spirit – for the last several years a prayer to the Holy Spirit has held a special place in my daily devotions, as I’ve sought to enter into an ever deeper surrender to the Lord – what a neat thought that His eyes are on us all the time, and watching before us and behind us to keep us safe from harm, and give us direction! This puts another smile in my heart too – to imagine the two eyes in the license plate – I like to think the Lord’s eyes would have a twinkle in them at the thought also!

The second option for the 300 came from a journal entry from Catherine Marshall’s book, A CLOSER WALK, which I had only discovered a few days after the plates had arrived. She was writing about the story of Gideon, how he felt himself so incapable of accomplishing the task the Lord had set before him – and indeed by his own power he was incapable – but the Lord assured him that He, the Lord, would provide all that was needed. Gideon needed only to trust, and obey. When Gideon had assembled the forces to do battle as the Lord had commanded, God told him he had too many men – he had 22,000 – they might think they accomplished the victory in their own power instead of by the power of the Lord, so God told him to keep only 300 men – 300! – to prove that it was indeed the Lord’s power that had wrought the victory, and not Gideon’s! What a reminder of humility – to always remember that any victory, or good, achieved through me comes from the power of the Lord within me, and never of myself alone. And that power for good is available to a surrendered life to achieve that which the Lord desires, for His Glory!

Who would have thought how much the Lord could show me through those “random” license plate letters and numbers!? Each time I jump in the van, and it is indeed often, I am reminded of the very real Presence of Christ right with me, wherever I go, the desire to praise Him in all things, the Holy Spirit teaching and guiding me, and to constantly seek to trust and obey the Lord in all that I do, knowing that it is His power and His alone that accomplishes good. And all of this is wrapped in the wonderful lightness of humor, to help me keep the proper perspective on my life and endeavors, knowing that the Joy of the Lord is my strength! (Neh 8:10)

I wonder what surprise the Lord has in store for us tomorrow!?

103) A Mighty Wind!

It was a beautiful spring afternoon, blue blue skies with not a cloud to be seen, and a peaceful calm in the air. We were outside on my friend’s deck, finalizing some plans for an event at our parish. Our pastor had reluctantly given us permission, but wasn’t inclined to be at all involved. We were grateful for his consent, and recognized the stress he was under, as he hadn’t been very supportive of any new initiatives in the parish. Retirement for him had been postponed for another year, and he was really ready to be freed from administrative responsibilities.

As we were ending our meeting with prayer, we shifted from prayer for the specifics of the event to prayer from our hearts for our pastor. The Lord put it on our hearts to really ask God to bless him, to bring peace to his heart and rest to his spirit. It might have been easier to ask God to change his attitudes, or point out areas where we thought he needed correction, but God’s grace shifted our intentions to really seek His love and mercy for him – to hear and ask God’s intentions for him. We were united in this prayer, as we all prayed in one accord for God’s desires for him.

As we were closing in prayer, a sudden rush of wind struck the sheets hanging on the clothesline, creating a loud flapping sound! The leaves scattered on the ground were caught up in a swirl of wind and danced wildly around our feet. We felt the strength of the wind, and heard its power as it rushed through our little group, and then just as suddenly as it had appeared, it was gone. My friend’s husband had been working down in the garden a little way away from us – he came up the hill to where we were, asking, “What was that!”

What came to us as we sought to understand what we had just experienced was God’s pleasure with our little group, in our unity and love expressed in our prayers for our pastor. He sent His Spirit as an exclamation point to get our full attention for His approval of our Unity and heartfelt prayers for one of His shepherds.

The Holy Spirit is indeed the Spirit of Unity, and Power! I can’t help but think of His appearance at Pentecost as a mighty wind! “Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.” (Acts 2:2) God often speaks to us through His Creation, sometimes with a shaft of light breaking through a bank of clouds at just the right moment, a thunderclap to highlight a word spoken, or a mighty wind to affirm His pleasure. As we become more and more aware of His presence in every circumstance, these unexpected signs are God’s gifts to communicate His personal stamp on whatever we’re about. None of us gathered together that day will ever forget the rush of wind we experienced, with the reminder of God’s desire for us to be people of unity and blessing for others.

Thank You Lord, God of all Creation, Who speaks to us in so many varied ways. Grant us the grace to be attentive to Your Presence, to marvel and
respond to the many ways You communicate Your desires. Come Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with Your Love!

102) Look Up!

“Think of what is above, not of what is on earth.” (Col 3:2 NAB)

For many years I participated in a Moms in Touch prayer group, where we would pray Scripture into the lives of our kids. We would insert their names into the passages, knowing that God’s Word was being nestled in their hearts through our prayers. This particular day we were praying Colossians 3:2, and my prayer was that our son Steve, then in sixth grade, would think of what is above, not of what is on earth.

That evening Steve and I were at the kitchen table where he was doing his homework and I was doing some paperwork. He had some maps to color, and conversation was easy as he was just coloring stuff. All he would talk about was heaven that night. I hadn’t initiated the conversation, and had forgotten about our Scripture prayer for him earlier in the day. For three hours all he talked about was heaven! It wasn’t until later that I remembered our prayer, and marveled at God’s clear answer to this request. That was about 25 years ago; Steve at present is struggling with faith issues and denying God’s very existence, but still thinking very much about spiritual matters. I know in my heart that as he wrestles with God, faith will someday prevail, as I remember all those years of prayer and know that God’s Word never returns void, but will accomplish that for which it is intended, in His way, in His perfect timing…

Thinking of what is above has been surfacing many instances of being called to lift my mind and heart upward, to take it off the difficulties of the moment and find relief as I raise my sights to God. I remember a good priest’s anecdote about asking someone how they were doing ~ they replied, “ok, under the circumstances.” His response was “what are you doing under the circumstances? Get out of there!” For me, that translates as, “look up!”

I think of all the awesome churches that draw our attention upward as we gaze at majestic art works and statues. Entering any of those cathedrals, we see people all looking up, caught in wonder at the beauty of the architecture and images. When we step outdoors in the cathedral of God’s natural creation, we are again drawn to look up, to be lost in the glory of a sunset or a night sky full of stars. Who doesn’t love to watch an eagle soaring overhead, or admire a giant tree reaching upward, or the snowy caps of mountains?

It was said St. Ignatius of Loyola would begin his prayer times by stepping outside and just looking up at the night sky, until tears ran down his cheeks as he praised God for His Glory. In Acts 7:54-57 we read of St. Stephen, filled with the Holy Spirit, looking up as he was about to be stoned and seeing the glory of God and Jesus standing at God’s right hand.

Corrie ten Boom relates the story of standing in formation in the stark cold courtyard of the concentration camp, where a young woman was being brutally beaten in front of all the inmates who were forced to witness the cruelty. In His mercy, God sent a lark that began to sing its beautiful melody as all eyes were lifted from the horror before them to a small reminder of goodness and hope. Psalm 121 comes to mind here, “I lift up my eyes to the hills, from whence does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” (Ps 121:1-2 RSV). This was one of my mom’s favorite verses, and always serves to remind me of God’s faithful provision for all of my needs.

More reminders to look up! are popping into my mind, but the last one I’ll recall here is a simple thought shared by a friend. She helps out at the school cafeteria, and often can see sadness or discouragement on the faces of the students as they come through the food line. Her word to them? “Look up!” combined with a smile and a silent prayer, as she ministers to them with the love of Jesus in her heart.

Everywhere we turn today we are bombarded with news and circumstances that could tempt us to discouragement or despair. God has given us an antidote: “Look up!” Let us with St. Stephen see Jesus standing at God’s right hand, interceding for us and calling us to remind each other to think of what is above, not of what is on earth.

Lord God, help us to keep the bigger picture before us, knowing that You are indeed always in our sight as we raise our eyes to heaven and seek Your face.
Thank You for Your Word planted in our hearts, watered from above with the living waters of your mercy. May we encourage one another to look up each day, to be renewed in faith and hope…

101). Never Too Late

As I blew out the 80 candles on my birthday cake, my thoughts were filled with gratitude for all these many good years! At the same time, I couldn’t help but ask myself how best to use whatever years were left for me to serve the Lord well. My heart’s desire has been to meet my Lord in the company of an army of souls that I’ve invited to join me! Not being a very extroverted type, most of my words have been in reflective writing that I’ve shared with a few friends and a lame attempt at blogging. “Yea, two people read something today!” let me know that my army was going to be pretty small. A little voice (the Holy Spirit?) had been whispering in my ear lately, to encourage me to find a way to reach a larger audience with the fruit of my many years of following Jesus. I bit the bullet, and signed up for Praise Writers’ on-line writing class, hoping to gain some help in reaching my dream before my time was up! It was geared to help writers learn the basics of how to write and where to go with it.

What struck me first was the reality that the gift of writing the Lord had blessed me with was indeed a mandate, to be cultivated and broadcast, spreading the seeds that had been sown in my heart that they might land and take root in others’ hearts, to produce the beautiful garden the Lord envisioned. I didn’t want to stand before the Lord on judgment day with my talent buried in the ground.

The course offered many great practical points, from time blocking to the need for community. My random and sporadic writing reflections needed to be trained, and given much more of a priority than I had ever allowed them. A highlight of the course was a half hour time with the director, Claire Dwyer, who offered some concrete suggestions and encouragement for moving forward. Access through Praise Writers to great interviews with established writers provided more direction and inspiration.

Today, moving toward 81years, I remember that Moses only began his main ministry at age 80! It’s not too late for me, as I’m committed to making the time to share the goodness of the Lord with my new tools that have been tried and proven by others before me.

Lord God, thank you for not giving up on me, but rather offering the grace of a new day, a new approach, and a fresh outpouring of Your Spirit to bring to fruition the gifts you’ve blessed me with. May Your grace not be given in vain, but rather nourished and cultivated to achieve the end for which you sent it! Anoint the words given me to share, Lord, that they may bring blessing to all who may read them, and encouragement to others who may think it’s too late to follow a dream 🙂

100) Lenten Loneliness

It’s been a different Lent this year (2018), with many ups and downs, and woeful failures in my attempts to stick to my Lenten resolutions. In the first few weeks blessings abounded as I was swept from glory to glory with lots of good time in reflection, and a mini-retreat at home in Wisconsin. There I was able to make many connections with friends, visit the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help (now Our Lady of Champion). and make a trip up to the cabin with a friend where we were blessed with blue blue skies and fresh snow fall. Consolations were everywhere, and I was embracing them with all my heart 🙂

The return trip to MN led me to a place of loneliness, bombarded with memories of loss that were stealing the joy I had experienced. The remedy I had learned from Linda Schubert was a five step process which I sought to implement as an antidote to discouragement.

First step was to acknowledge the pain of loneliness that I was experiencing – to embrace it and lean into it gently. Step two was to really allow myself to feel the pain. It was deep, and I found my self recognizing it as a sacrifice I could offer to the Lord, and I leaned hard into it, not just gently, but pressing my very inner self into this emptiness and desolation, to console the heart of Jesus. I remembered the prayers of St. Bridget, the fifth prayer where she witnessed the sadness of the Lord’s own heart from the cross as He looked at humanity and saw all those who turned away and rejected His gifts of love and mercy.

A prayer rose in my heart, that somehow my little pain might be as a drop of balm to Christ’s own immeasurable thirst for souls. One tiny drop was all I could offer, but I gave it to the Lord from the bottom of my heart, in profound gratitude for the life I had been given. The desire to live the remaining days of Lent at a very deep level, not passing by the gift I was being offered, but rather to unite my little sacrifice to the fathomless sacrifice of the Cross, in reparation for my sins, for those of the ones I hold in my heart, for my church, for my village, for my country…. This was step three in the process, uniting my suffering with that of Jesus on the Cross. I recognized that this gift I could offer, though small, is precious to my Lord, and is a gift that only I can give…

Step four is to extend blessing to any who may have been a part of the pain or suffering I was experiencing. Offering a prayer of thanksgiving for God’s grace in leading me through this process and seeking His blessing to those I may have felt hurt by, always with the desire for sincere forgiveness, was another step toward bringing me back to a place of peace and joy.

I determined to bring this all to Jesus in Adoration, in prayer, and to carry it in my heart throughout the up-coming Holy Week. I would bring it to Stations, and beg the grace to enter in to the deeper intimate relationship to which the Lord was calling me. I wanted to gladly receive the invitation, the gift ~ not to leave it on the shelf to admire, but to fully unwrap it and allow it to consume me…

The last step was one of gratitude, to leave the process at the foot of the cross and enter in to the new spiritual freedom the Lord desired for me. Acknowledge the hurt, feel the pain, lean in to it gently, unite it to Christ’s sacrifice, extend blessing and forgiveness, and leave it all at the foot of the cross with gratitude to Jesus for His healing grace. This process has been a blessing for me over and over again as an antidote to discouragement and desolation. How grateful I am for the many ways the Lord draws us back to Himself, to restore our peace and fill us once again with His Light!

Lord God, thank You for Your gift of Redemption! When we come to You in our brokenness with repentant hearts, You never fail to offer us the free healing gifts of Love and Mercy. May I never forget to turn to You, that You may restore Your peace within me so that I may extend that peace to others. Peace in our hearts, one by one, to bring Your peace to the world

99) Grasshoppers!

Grasshoppers! That’s the word that jumped out at me while praying with Isaiah 40:22 – “He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth; its dwellers are like grasshoppers.” Grasshoppers? The extended passage had so many other thoughts in it, why did I keep coming back to “grasshoppers?” It made me laugh, of course, and continued to bring a smile as the word kept returning to my memory for several weeks. Finally I felt called to investigate a little, so started by googling the word to see what would come up Biblically.

This is the first note that I found: Pope Saint Gregory the Great is said to have seen the grasshopper as a sign from God that he was to return to Rome after beginning a journey to England to be a missionary there. As they paused on their journey, three days from Rome, a grasshopper, also called a locust, jumped on to the book he was reading. “Rightly is it called locust,” he said, “because it seems to say to us, loco sta (locusta),—stay in your place!” He interpreted this as meaning he should stay in Rome, and abort his mission to England. As he was arriving at this decision, messengers arrived from Rome calling him to return there. Holy Spirit intervention, discerned by St Gregory for a decision that had a positive impact on the whole Church! ( For more of this story, see https://www.catholic365.com/article/35503/gregory-and-the-grasshopper.html).

As I prayed with this, two thoughts entered the conversation. One was God’s call for me to stay where I am – to limit my outside activities and stay home to address the projects that have been awaiting me here for a long time. Time to get my own house in order before embarking on new adventures!

The second message seemed to be a confirmation of the call to acknowledge my own littleness, and be content and happy to be the child of God that I am. No great expeditions or extravaganzas, but to continue to savor the graces of being “Nobody,” just living a simple life and doing the next right thing each day. I’ve always loved the poem by Emily Dickenson:
:
I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there’s a pair of us!
Don’t tell! They’d advertise – you know!

How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog
To tell one’s name – the livelong June
To an admiring Bog!

Grasshoppers! It also brings a lightness of heart, along with a smile at God’s playfulness in conveying a message to my spirit. Lectio Divina becomes a delightful part of each day as the Lord speaks through His Word, always with the prospect of drawing me closer to Him as He reminds me that He sees me, He knows me, He loves me and He’s guiding me to holiness. Thank you Lord, for grasshoppers!

98) Create In Me A Clean Heart

Lent is upon us, the season of prayer, fasting and almsgiving. It’s a season of repentance, allowing the Holy Spirit to search our hearts, find what needs God’s Hand of Mercy, and drawing us to the Sacrament of Reconciliation to be washed clean in preparation for the celebration of Easter! The phrase “blot out or sins” has always caused me to stop and pay attention – Ps 51:9b calls for God to “turn away Thy face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.” What would that look like? The answer came to me in a moment of grace a few years ago.

A friend shared that there was a particular memory that the enemy often brought to her mind, and which had always been a source of deep shame. It happened so long ago, but kept re-appearing at times when she was tempted to slip into desolation and forget that the Lord had forgiven her of that failure. She had confessed it in a general way, but never specifically, and felt that God was calling her to go deeper in repentance.

The opportunity presented itself on retreat with a holy priest. After a beautiful talk about the healing gift of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, she approached the confessional and shared in detail the specifics of the sin. The good priest heard her confession, blessed her for her desire to be cleansed of the residue from this transgression, and absolved her of this sin. She left the confessional feeling the weight lifted, and in gratitude went to the chapel for Adoration, to thank God for this deeper cleansing.

As she sat before the tabernacle, images began to play in her mind. She saw herself sitting there, with Mother Mary next to her, her arm gently encircling her. They sat together at the foot of a huge crucifix, and on her lap was a photo album with pictures of the sin she had confessed. These were the images that the enemy had often reminded her of and which had been the source of her shame. Then slowly and gently, drops of Jesus’ precious blood began to drip down from the crucifix, landing directly on the photos and blotting out the images. They were like bleach blots, that when they landed completely obliterated the pictures, until there were all just pure white. Pure white, innocence and purity restored!

She related that now whenever the enemy sought to resurrect those images, all she saw were the clean white photos in the album, and she was reminded of the drops of Jesus’ blood which had washed away her sins. It always filled her with great joy and peace, and the comfort of being held by Mary as she received this healing. It’s another sign of God’s ability to redeem, and to make all things new!

As I go to Reconciliation soon, in preparation to celebrate Christ’s Resurrection, I go in gratitude for this great gift of grace! Indeed, He “blots out all my iniquities!” and cleanses me from my sins – Praise God for His Goodness and Mercy!

97) Stand Up For Jesus!

Secrets! Remember how fun it is to whisper a secret, knowing it’s a special surprise waiting to delight a friend? Perhaps for a birthday party, or a welcome home treat, the joy we experience at bringing unexpected delight to those we love is multiplied when shared with others. In Ignatian vocabulary, this can be called a non-spiritual consolation, which always has the potential to bring us to spiritual consolation, as a drawing nearer to God. This kind of secret can be healthy and holy! There’s another kind of secret that St Ignatius warns us to avoid however, and that’s when the enemy whispers to keep silent when our own spirit is troubled.

An example of this can be when we are tempted or have fallen in to entertaining thoughts or behavior that is not in line with our Christian values. In Rule 13 of the Rules for Discernment of Spirits, we are warned about keeping secret the whisper of the enemy that it’s ok to be unfaithful to our marriage vows. The quickest and most effective way to foil the enemy here is to do the opposite – to share this temptation with a trusted spiritual friend or spiritual companion who can help us to see the truth, and turn away from the deceptive tactic of the enemy. Even in just speaking this “secret” out loud, we can experience clarity in our spiritual vision, and gain the strength to confess our sin or temptation and return to the holy highway.

As I was praying about this, a memory came to mind that reminded me of this rule in a slightly different context. Growing up with a strong Christian faith, I was invited at an early age to publicly confess my faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord. No secret here! Be strong and bold to declare my Savior! Many years later, after I had been blessed to enter the Catholic faith, we were at a large gathering of Catholics for a mini retreat. The Pastor of the Church proclaimed the Gospel, and then invited us all to stand up if we were ready to give our lives to Jesus. That had never been presented like that to this group, and there was silence, and not a soul budged from their pew. Then slowly, a few of us stood up! It took several minutes, and a few more exhortations from the pastor, for people to stand.

What was keeping us all silent? This was a group of committed Christians, many of whom shared a deep and holy faith. Was it the unexpected request that caused the delay – or was it the enemy whispering, “don’t be so public!” “This isn’t the way we show our faith!”
To me it was the invitation to be more bold, and to stand up for Jesus! Not to hesitate, but to be ready and able to declare Jesus as Lord! No longer to hide what I believe, nor keep it secret, but to be happy and proud of my Catholic faith, in gratitude for all it has given me in this life, and in the promise of eternal life.

To me it was the invitation to be more bold, and to stand up for Jesus! Not to hesitate, but to be ready and able to declare Jesus as Lord! No longer to hide what I believe, nor keep it secret, but to be happy and proud of my Catholic faith, in gratitude for all it has given me in this life, and in the promise of eternal life.
Secrets. So many different kinds of secrets, some healthy and holy, and others tricks of the enemy. We need the gift of the Spirit to discern well, to bring to light what is meant to be revealed.

Lord God, help us to grow in the gift of discernment, to be able to sort out from the variety of possible responses those which are most pleasing to You. Especially Lord, give us the courage and boldness to never keep our trust in You secret, but be willing to stand up for You in gratitude for Your gift of Life…

96) Stocking our Spiritual Pantry

How often when we experience something beautiful, we exclaim, “I’ll never forget this moment! It will stay with me forever!” only to find that as time passes the images aren’t quite as vivid, and the details become a bit fuzzy. We still recall the moment, but can’t quite re-capture the same delight as when it first occurred. The Lord understands our human weakness in re-call, and He offers us the grace of re-living the moment as for the first time, bringing it into the present for us. This is the same gift He gives us in the Mass – we’re not just remembering what Jesus has done for us, but rather it is re-presented with all the power of the original sacrifice when we enter into this Reality. We need to ask the help of the Holy Spirit to receive this grace, and He is only too ready to extend it to us!

This gift is especially helpful when we slip into desolation, and can be a sure remedy to restore us to a season of consolation. In the 10th Rule of St Ignatius we read, “When one enjoys consolation, let him consider how he will conduct himself during the time of ensuing desolation, and store up a supply of strength as defense against that day.” Consolation comes with times of drawing nearer to God, and Desolation is the opposite – becoming distant from God. We want to store up a supply of strength against the day of desolation – one way which can be to stock our Spiritual Pantry!

I first heard this term in the writing of Liz Kelly, and it brings to mind a visual image of a pantry, with shelves ready to receive and keep the consolations I have received in the past. The shelves are labeled: music that has lifted my heart, stories from books that have blessed me, family gatherings that were times of harmony and love… whatever terms are meaningful to identify the experience. The experiences stored in our Pantry are resources God has given us to leave Desolation and return to Consolation.

How do we begin ? Step one is the awareness that we are in desolation. St Ignatius begins all discernment with this step, becoming aware that we have lost our inner peace.

Step two is always to turn to the Holy Spirit, Who helps us to remember what we need. Having recognized the enemy at work, now we need to take action, step three! John 14:26, “the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My Name, will teach you all things, and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” Consolations are a gift from God, and He wants us to remember them, as being spoken to our hearts in experiences or words by Jesus.

The action here is to go to our Spiritual Pantry, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide us to the memory on the shelf that relates to our current situation. We retrieve the memory in prayer, and savor the grace received then and allow it to re-ignite our faith, hope and love for the present circumstance.

An experience related by a friend is an illustration of step two, turning to the Holy Spirit. She was in college, and had been negligent in attending a statistics class. Time came for the final exam, and receiving the questions, she realized she didn’t know how to proceed to answer them. In high school she had excelled in math, so she had within her the ability to do the work, but was at a loss with these particular questions. Having attended Catholic grade school, she remembered the teaching to always pray to the Holy Spirit before test taking, that He might bring to mind what she had learned and apply it to the test. Bowing her head, she invoked the Holy Spirit to do just that, and then proceeded to answer the questions, and turned in the exam paper.

Two days later her professor called her into his office. He stated that prior to taking the exam she was failing the course for lack of attendance and not turning in homework, but she had answered all the questions perfectly. Also she was the only one in the class who had written a perfect exam, and he knew she couldn’t have copied from anyone. However, she had shown only minimally how she had arrived at the answers; if she could explain how she did it, he would give her a B, otherwise she would get a C and pass the class. She didn’t disclose having prayed to the Holy Spirit, and she didn’t remember how she had arrived at the answers. But she passed happily with the C!

What an encouragement to ask the Holy Spirit to remind us what we need to proceed in any area of our lives! Particularly when in desolation, which is always from the enemy, to return us to the time of consolation where we can be the joyful witness to our faith that will be a blessing to ourselves and others!

This story is one of the items stored in my Spiritual Pantry. When I get stuck on a question, or need a boost to restore my joy, pulling this off the shelf and re-visiting it always re-ignites my faith and helps me to move forward in consolation.

Lord God, thank you for all the holy experiences you have blessed me with, times of consolation to be used as weapons against the snares of the enemy. May I not hesitate to open the Pantry and again receive the grace of Your love and care for me, gathered through the years and continuing to bring blessing, for me and for all those with whom they are to be shared…