christianity – Spiritual Sun Pennies

108) The Oak

The Oak Tree

Feeling like a lost child, frightened and alone, I quickly stuffed a few overnight essentials into my back pack, tossed it into the car next to my sleeping bag and began the familiar two hour drive to the family cabin in the North Woods. I needed some space to breathe and begin to process the unimaginable – the disintegration of what I had thought was a forever marriage. I had missed all the warning signs and been oblivious to what was happening after 36 years of being together. To help me keep my mind from racing and retracing the scenes of these past few days, I placed a CD into the car player and began to listen to a story that described the second half of the spiritual life.

The author spoke of a large oak table that stood at the center of the family’s life. Meals were shared there, homework assignments completed, friends invited for cookies and milk, chats enjoyed with mom and siblings all centered around this table. Then in a dream, the table had vanished! The author saw this as relating to her spiritual life, with the table representing the solid structure of her early faith. The idea of it vanishing led her to the deeper recognition of the presence of God Whom she couldn’t see, but Whom she knew in her heart was always there, solid and stable as that oak table had been. It was calling her to a deeper trust in God’s care for her, “to walk by faith, and not by sight.” This spoke directly into my current situation where all the outer trappings of our marriage were being pulled out and I too was being called to a deeper trust in God’s care.

Pulling into the dirt driveway in the shade of ancient pine trees I arrived at the cabin, unloaded my few belongings, and enjoyed the comfort of being in this familiar setting. Our family had been coming here for summers since I was one year old, and amid the various moves in life since then it had remained my favorite destination. The walls were all classic knotty pine and the furniture was oak, crafted by a family friend who had been in the furniture business. The story of the oak kitchen table was fresh in my mind as I admired the sturdy dining table and chairs. All the names of my immediate family members were sandblasted onto the backs of the chairs around the dining table, and I felt their love and presence there with me in this time of trial. A wall of windows looked out on the lake where summer breezes were making ripples on the lake, and ducks were bobbing in the sun speckled water.

Being in the cabin had calmed my spirit a bit, but the rustling of the leaves was calling me outdoors to receive the graces that being in God’s creation always brought, so I decided to take a walk to the little lake a mile or so into the back woods. As I rounded the bend in the trail just before the lake, I stopped short and my heart sank. The giant oak tree that had always stood there lay broken and shattered on the ground! I stepped closer to look at the tree, and saw that it was hollow, just as our marriage seemed to be. I had loved that tree since I was a child, climbing up in its strong and sturdy branches. Our children had done the same, loving to perch high up in the tree to savor the beauty of the lake and the cranberry bog that surrounded it. I even had a picture on the refrigerator at home of my husband and me sitting together at the base of the tree! The parallel between the oak kitchen table and this massive oak tree that lay before me now spoke clearly to my heart. To me God was saying He knew all that was happening to me. My name was carved on the palm of His hand, just as our family names were carved on the oak chairs around the dining table. He was not surprised, but rather had been preparing me for what He knew would be a hard trial. In His goodness He had prompted me to listen to that particular CD, then brought me to this place and showed me this fallen tree. I cried for a while, but then smiled as I recognized God’s providence unfolding before me, calling me to that deeper trust and total dependence on Him which He desired. In my heart I knew He would be with us as we navigated this unexpected and painful path.

I lingered at the lake for a while, and then headed back to the cabin. Longing to hear God’s words for me, I picked up the Bible that was kept on the little table next to the bed, and carried it to my oak dining table. Opening it “at random,” my eyes fell on Isaiah 6:13: “He will be like the stump of an oak tree that has been cut down. The stump represents a new beginning for God’s people.” The Bible at the cabin has a different translation than the one at home. The wording of this translation was a perfect gift from God to me.

“The stump of an oak tree…a new beginning for God’s people.” My first thought at the lake was that God knew all about this; that He knew us intimately and lovingly. Although the first sight of the fallen oak had brought tears, it had been followed by the warmth of God’s love, revealing His tenderness and mercy. He wouldn’t just show me this and then abandon me – no! He would be with us, to strengthen and sustain us in what was to come. “A new beginning,” a promise of God’s provision and faithfulness.

This all happened twenty years ago, yet the memory is still so very fresh. It’s been a difficult road, but the image of the oak tree with its reminder of God’s intimate love has remained. I have experienced a new beginning, especially in the deepening of my relationship with God and the path to holiness that He’s leading me on. His grace has been the source of deep healing in the relationship with my husband, with much forgiveness and reconciliation, though we’ve remained living apart. We’re together for family celebrations and holidays, always exchanging a heart-felt hug and a quiet “love you.”

Now when unexpected experiences surprise me, I’m reminded that God is never surprised! He knows all about it, and He has prepared me with what I will need to navigate the circumstances. This has brought great peace to my heart, which I can then bring to the situation and share with my fellow travelers.

Thank you, Lord, for the image of the oak tree which remains with me as a sign of Your provision and hope for the future. You promise new life and resurrection glory; I’m experiencing that more and more as I put all my trust in You. 1 Cor:13 comes to mind: “No trial has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tried beyond what you can bear. But when you are tried, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” Thank you for preparing my heart and giving me the strength to endure the trials of life. As I recall the times of Your providential care and love, may my trust in You grow stronger each day,

106) Safety in Christ

The news has been full of random awful shootings – at schools, in churches, in so many places. I just received a text from a teacher asking for prayers as there is a shooting threat near her school. It’s the last day of school, and the children have all been called inside from the playground to remain in their locked classrooms. It has reminded me of a foundational lesson the Lord taught me many years ago, about finding our safety in Christ.

It began with the news of an airplane crash in Bosnia that had claimed the lives of US government officials and service people who were on an economic aid mission to help the people of the war-torn country. Among those in the crash was my cousin Charlie, and it was in the course of responding to this tragedy that the concept of safety began to unfold in a different light for me.

Searching for words to write just the right thing in condolence to our cousins, my mother called me looking for an adjective to describe faith. She wanted to share with her nieces and nephews the depth and quality of faith that had sustained our family through its moments of tragedy. Looking for the right words to express the kind of faith she knew in her heart, we tossed a few adjectives around, but didn’t arrive at the one she wanted, so we agreed to keep thinking about it and re-connect later.

After an hour, the phone rang, and mom, with a note of satisfaction in her voice, related that she had found the adjective she had been searching for – it was “secure!” “Secure faith” was just what she wanted to express!
It brought joy to my heart too, as I recognized God’s confirmation of this word with a game we had been playing with the kids. We had been putting Bible quotes on a chalkboard, and the one for that very morning was from Ps 16:5 – “Lord, You have made my destiny secure!” “Secure!” What a great word to describe faith! I had picked the quote because of the thought of “destiny,” thinking about Charlie and his journey into eternity. Another affirmation appeared that evening when we attended a Christian musical that included the phrase “our faith secure.”

When I came home from the musical that night, I pulled out the dictionary and looked up our adjective,”secure,” and these are the definitions listed: 1) free from fear, care, doubt, or anxiety; not worried, troubled or apprehensive. 2) free from danger; not exposed to damage, attack, etc; safe. 3) in safekeeping or custody. 4) not likely to fail or give way; firm; strong; stable. 5) sure; certain to be relied upon. What a great word! And to couple that with “faith” made it a real powerhouse!

The word “secure” came to my mind often through the next few weeks, and especially coupled with the word “safe.” They really spoke to me of the assurance of God’s presence and care. It was after another tragedy that this sequence moved to a deeper level for me.

A young boy in our community had been hit by a train and lost both his legs. He was a member of our parish, and our whole small community was rocked by the tragedy and responded with messages of support and aid. At the closing liturgy for our Catholic grade school, Fr Len prayed for safety for all our kids this summer, as the train accident was on his mind as on everyone else’s, and we prayed that no more tragedies would occur during the summer vacation.

Less than a week after the close of school, another family suffered a deep loss. An eighth grade boy drowned in the rain swollen waters of the Wolf River. At his funeral liturgy, Fr Len expressed our collective grief, and his own personal feelings of loss at the death of a boy he knew well. He spoke of how fragile life is, and how greatly we need to cherish it, his words echoing in everyone’s hearts. He also spoke of the boy’s faith; it was a real faith, and Fr Len expressed his assurance that Brett was with Christ.

What had happened to our prayers for safety? How could another tragedy come so soon, especially after our hearts had been so lifted to the Lord for our children? The connection with the secure faith my mother had been describing and the definition that included safety came to my mind more and more. For me the transition to safety in Christ became evident. Surely there is not and cannot be any true measure of physical safety in this fragile world we live in. The only true safety is in the assurance of faith Christ, in having our being entrusted to His Heart and abiding in Him. My humanity longs for the tangible physical well-being of those I love, yet my spirit knows their actual wholeness rests in Christ. Only when we have given our hearts to Him, and trust in His mercy, will we really be safe! Our lives on this earth are so short, and so very fragile. A single instant transforms vibrant health to death! How can we possibly live in security unless we are grounded in Christ? The words of St Paul echo in my thoughts, “neither death, nor life, nor angels, not principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom 8:38-39).

Thank You Lord, for Your gift of secure faith! Grant me the grace of perseverance to believe and trust in You, for You alone are the sure foundation. In the storms of life, may I always be reminded of Your love and protection which will remain with me into eternity.

104) License Plates

As I’ve become more aware of the Lord’s hand in every detail of my life, each day brings promises of surprises that are often new lessons to be learned. With this in mind, I had been eagerly watching the mailbox for the license plates to arrive for our new van – I knew the letters and numbers the Lord would put there would not be random, but rather a secret message from the Lord for us to unravel! The day arrived and as the plates were removed from their envelope, the combination PBX300 was revealed – now to decipher the code!

The first part, PBX, jumped out at me instantly – X of course stood for Christ, from the Greek letter X, or Chi – Christos – the Anointed One. PB offered two possibilities – Praise Be to Christ was the first one that offered itself, especially as I’ve become so aware of the priority of Praise as a foundation of our faith.

The second option of course is Peanut Butter, and this was an even more personal message – the mainstay of our lunch for years has been PBJs, so peanut butter and Christ is even more logical – to keep Christ in the very center of our lives, right in the common and ordinariness of lunch. This was a message I often needed to remember, that to find our Lord we need go no farther than the kitchen, and among the most mundane elements of our living – the sacred in the homeliness of our everyday existence. Sometimes I forget and want to run out to find the Lord in all those mountain top experiences, when in reality He remains so very much present right in the humdrum of our lives.

Considering the idea of peanut butter and Christ presents a very important lesson too – Humor! I can’t look at the plate without smiling, thinking how silly it would appear to many to hear this “code de-ciphering” – and to me too – it brings a smile to my lips whenever I think of it, and a lightness to my heart, and another reminder to take myself less seriously, yet to seriously keep the Lord at the center of our lives!

The number 300 offered extra options too – the first focusing on the number 3, for the Trinity! and the 00 are the eyes of the Holy Spirit – for the last several years a prayer to the Holy Spirit has held a special place in my daily devotions, as I’ve sought to enter into an ever deeper surrender to the Lord – what a neat thought that His eyes are on us all the time, and watching before us and behind us to keep us safe from harm, and give us direction! This puts another smile in my heart too – to imagine the two eyes in the license plate – I like to think the Lord’s eyes would have a twinkle in them at the thought also!

The second option for the 300 came from a journal entry from Catherine Marshall’s book, A CLOSER WALK, which I had only discovered a few days after the plates had arrived. She was writing about the story of Gideon, how he felt himself so incapable of accomplishing the task the Lord had set before him – and indeed by his own power he was incapable – but the Lord assured him that He, the Lord, would provide all that was needed. Gideon needed only to trust, and obey. When Gideon had assembled the forces to do battle as the Lord had commanded, God told him he had too many men – he had 22,000 – they might think they accomplished the victory in their own power instead of by the power of the Lord, so God told him to keep only 300 men – 300! – to prove that it was indeed the Lord’s power that had wrought the victory, and not Gideon’s! What a reminder of humility – to always remember that any victory, or good, achieved through me comes from the power of the Lord within me, and never of myself alone. And that power for good is available to a surrendered life to achieve that which the Lord desires, for His Glory!

Who would have thought how much the Lord could show me through those “random” license plate letters and numbers!? Each time I jump in the van, and it is indeed often, I am reminded of the very real Presence of Christ right with me, wherever I go, the desire to praise Him in all things, the Holy Spirit teaching and guiding me, and to constantly seek to trust and obey the Lord in all that I do, knowing that it is His power and His alone that accomplishes good. And all of this is wrapped in the wonderful lightness of humor, to help me keep the proper perspective on my life and endeavors, knowing that the Joy of the Lord is my strength! (Neh 8:10)

I wonder what surprise the Lord has in store for us tomorrow!?

103) A Mighty Wind!

It was a beautiful spring afternoon, blue blue skies with not a cloud to be seen, and a peaceful calm in the air. We were outside on my friend’s deck, finalizing some plans for an event at our parish. Our pastor had reluctantly given us permission, but wasn’t inclined to be at all involved. We were grateful for his consent, and recognized the stress he was under, as he hadn’t been very supportive of any new initiatives in the parish. Retirement for him had been postponed for another year, and he was really ready to be freed from administrative responsibilities.

As we were ending our meeting with prayer, we shifted from prayer for the specifics of the event to prayer from our hearts for our pastor. The Lord put it on our hearts to really ask God to bless him, to bring peace to his heart and rest to his spirit. It might have been easier to ask God to change his attitudes, or point out areas where we thought he needed correction, but God’s grace shifted our intentions to really seek His love and mercy for him – to hear and ask God’s intentions for him. We were united in this prayer, as we all prayed in one accord for God’s desires for him.

As we were closing in prayer, a sudden rush of wind struck the sheets hanging on the clothesline, creating a loud flapping sound! The leaves scattered on the ground were caught up in a swirl of wind and danced wildly around our feet. We felt the strength of the wind, and heard its power as it rushed through our little group, and then just as suddenly as it had appeared, it was gone. My friend’s husband had been working down in the garden a little way away from us – he came up the hill to where we were, asking, “What was that!”

What came to us as we sought to understand what we had just experienced was God’s pleasure with our little group, in our unity and love expressed in our prayers for our pastor. He sent His Spirit as an exclamation point to get our full attention for His approval of our Unity and heartfelt prayers for one of His shepherds.

The Holy Spirit is indeed the Spirit of Unity, and Power! I can’t help but think of His appearance at Pentecost as a mighty wind! “Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting.” (Acts 2:2) God often speaks to us through His Creation, sometimes with a shaft of light breaking through a bank of clouds at just the right moment, a thunderclap to highlight a word spoken, or a mighty wind to affirm His pleasure. As we become more and more aware of His presence in every circumstance, these unexpected signs are God’s gifts to communicate His personal stamp on whatever we’re about. None of us gathered together that day will ever forget the rush of wind we experienced, with the reminder of God’s desire for us to be people of unity and blessing for others.

Thank You Lord, God of all Creation, Who speaks to us in so many varied ways. Grant us the grace to be attentive to Your Presence, to marvel and
respond to the many ways You communicate Your desires. Come Holy Spirit, fill our hearts with Your Love!

100) Lenten Loneliness

It’s been a different Lent this year (2018), with many ups and downs, and woeful failures in my attempts to stick to my Lenten resolutions. In the first few weeks blessings abounded as I was swept from glory to glory with lots of good time in reflection, and a mini-retreat at home in Wisconsin. There I was able to make many connections with friends, visit the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help (now Our Lady of Champion). and make a trip up to the cabin with a friend where we were blessed with blue blue skies and fresh snow fall. Consolations were everywhere, and I was embracing them with all my heart 🙂

The return trip to MN led me to a place of loneliness, bombarded with memories of loss that were stealing the joy I had experienced. The remedy I had learned from Linda Schubert was a five step process which I sought to implement as an antidote to discouragement.

First step was to acknowledge the pain of loneliness that I was experiencing – to embrace it and lean into it gently. Step two was to really allow myself to feel the pain. It was deep, and I found my self recognizing it as a sacrifice I could offer to the Lord, and I leaned hard into it, not just gently, but pressing my very inner self into this emptiness and desolation, to console the heart of Jesus. I remembered the prayers of St. Bridget, the fifth prayer where she witnessed the sadness of the Lord’s own heart from the cross as He looked at humanity and saw all those who turned away and rejected His gifts of love and mercy.

A prayer rose in my heart, that somehow my little pain might be as a drop of balm to Christ’s own immeasurable thirst for souls. One tiny drop was all I could offer, but I gave it to the Lord from the bottom of my heart, in profound gratitude for the life I had been given. The desire to live the remaining days of Lent at a very deep level, not passing by the gift I was being offered, but rather to unite my little sacrifice to the fathomless sacrifice of the Cross, in reparation for my sins, for those of the ones I hold in my heart, for my church, for my village, for my country…. This was step three in the process, uniting my suffering with that of Jesus on the Cross. I recognized that this gift I could offer, though small, is precious to my Lord, and is a gift that only I can give…

Step four is to extend blessing to any who may have been a part of the pain or suffering I was experiencing. Offering a prayer of thanksgiving for God’s grace in leading me through this process and seeking His blessing to those I may have felt hurt by, always with the desire for sincere forgiveness, was another step toward bringing me back to a place of peace and joy.

I determined to bring this all to Jesus in Adoration, in prayer, and to carry it in my heart throughout the up-coming Holy Week. I would bring it to Stations, and beg the grace to enter in to the deeper intimate relationship to which the Lord was calling me. I wanted to gladly receive the invitation, the gift ~ not to leave it on the shelf to admire, but to fully unwrap it and allow it to consume me…

The last step was one of gratitude, to leave the process at the foot of the cross and enter in to the new spiritual freedom the Lord desired for me. Acknowledge the hurt, feel the pain, lean in to it gently, unite it to Christ’s sacrifice, extend blessing and forgiveness, and leave it all at the foot of the cross with gratitude to Jesus for His healing grace. This process has been a blessing for me over and over again as an antidote to discouragement and desolation. How grateful I am for the many ways the Lord draws us back to Himself, to restore our peace and fill us once again with His Light!

Lord God, thank You for Your gift of Redemption! When we come to You in our brokenness with repentant hearts, You never fail to offer us the free healing gifts of Love and Mercy. May I never forget to turn to You, that You may restore Your peace within me so that I may extend that peace to others. Peace in our hearts, one by one, to bring Your peace to the world

99) Grasshoppers!

Grasshoppers! That’s the word that jumped out at me while praying with Isaiah 40:22 – “He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth; its dwellers are like grasshoppers.” Grasshoppers? The extended passage had so many other thoughts in it, why did I keep coming back to “grasshoppers?” It made me laugh, of course, and continued to bring a smile as the word kept returning to my memory for several weeks. Finally I felt called to investigate a little, so started by googling the word to see what would come up Biblically.

This is the first note that I found: Pope Saint Gregory the Great is said to have seen the grasshopper as a sign from God that he was to return to Rome after beginning a journey to England to be a missionary there. As they paused on their journey, three days from Rome, a grasshopper, also called a locust, jumped on to the book he was reading. “Rightly is it called locust,” he said, “because it seems to say to us, loco sta (locusta),—stay in your place!” He interpreted this as meaning he should stay in Rome, and abort his mission to England. As he was arriving at this decision, messengers arrived from Rome calling him to return there. Holy Spirit intervention, discerned by St Gregory for a decision that had a positive impact on the whole Church! ( For more of this story, see https://www.catholic365.com/article/35503/gregory-and-the-grasshopper.html).

As I prayed with this, two thoughts entered the conversation. One was God’s call for me to stay where I am – to limit my outside activities and stay home to address the projects that have been awaiting me here for a long time. Time to get my own house in order before embarking on new adventures!

The second message seemed to be a confirmation of the call to acknowledge my own littleness, and be content and happy to be the child of God that I am. No great expeditions or extravaganzas, but to continue to savor the graces of being “Nobody,” just living a simple life and doing the next right thing each day. I’ve always loved the poem by Emily Dickenson:
:
I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you – Nobody – too?
Then there’s a pair of us!
Don’t tell! They’d advertise – you know!

How dreary – to be – Somebody!
How public – like a Frog
To tell one’s name – the livelong June
To an admiring Bog!

Grasshoppers! It also brings a lightness of heart, along with a smile at God’s playfulness in conveying a message to my spirit. Lectio Divina becomes a delightful part of each day as the Lord speaks through His Word, always with the prospect of drawing me closer to Him as He reminds me that He sees me, He knows me, He loves me and He’s guiding me to holiness. Thank you Lord, for grasshoppers!

97) Stand Up For Jesus!

Secrets! Remember how fun it is to whisper a secret, knowing it’s a special surprise waiting to delight a friend? Perhaps for a birthday party, or a welcome home treat, the joy we experience at bringing unexpected delight to those we love is multiplied when shared with others. In Ignatian vocabulary, this can be called a non-spiritual consolation, which always has the potential to bring us to spiritual consolation, as a drawing nearer to God. This kind of secret can be healthy and holy! There’s another kind of secret that St Ignatius warns us to avoid however, and that’s when the enemy whispers to keep silent when our own spirit is troubled.

An example of this can be when we are tempted or have fallen in to entertaining thoughts or behavior that is not in line with our Christian values. In Rule 13 of the Rules for Discernment of Spirits, we are warned about keeping secret the whisper of the enemy that it’s ok to be unfaithful to our marriage vows. The quickest and most effective way to foil the enemy here is to do the opposite – to share this temptation with a trusted spiritual friend or spiritual companion who can help us to see the truth, and turn away from the deceptive tactic of the enemy. Even in just speaking this “secret” out loud, we can experience clarity in our spiritual vision, and gain the strength to confess our sin or temptation and return to the holy highway.

As I was praying about this, a memory came to mind that reminded me of this rule in a slightly different context. Growing up with a strong Christian faith, I was invited at an early age to publicly confess my faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord. No secret here! Be strong and bold to declare my Savior! Many years later, after I had been blessed to enter the Catholic faith, we were at a large gathering of Catholics for a mini retreat. The Pastor of the Church proclaimed the Gospel, and then invited us all to stand up if we were ready to give our lives to Jesus. That had never been presented like that to this group, and there was silence, and not a soul budged from their pew. Then slowly, a few of us stood up! It took several minutes, and a few more exhortations from the pastor, for people to stand.

What was keeping us all silent? This was a group of committed Christians, many of whom shared a deep and holy faith. Was it the unexpected request that caused the delay – or was it the enemy whispering, “don’t be so public!” “This isn’t the way we show our faith!”
To me it was the invitation to be more bold, and to stand up for Jesus! Not to hesitate, but to be ready and able to declare Jesus as Lord! No longer to hide what I believe, nor keep it secret, but to be happy and proud of my Catholic faith, in gratitude for all it has given me in this life, and in the promise of eternal life.

To me it was the invitation to be more bold, and to stand up for Jesus! Not to hesitate, but to be ready and able to declare Jesus as Lord! No longer to hide what I believe, nor keep it secret, but to be happy and proud of my Catholic faith, in gratitude for all it has given me in this life, and in the promise of eternal life.
Secrets. So many different kinds of secrets, some healthy and holy, and others tricks of the enemy. We need the gift of the Spirit to discern well, to bring to light what is meant to be revealed.

Lord God, help us to grow in the gift of discernment, to be able to sort out from the variety of possible responses those which are most pleasing to You. Especially Lord, give us the courage and boldness to never keep our trust in You secret, but be willing to stand up for You in gratitude for Your gift of Life…

96) Stocking our Spiritual Pantry

How often when we experience something beautiful, we exclaim, “I’ll never forget this moment! It will stay with me forever!” only to find that as time passes the images aren’t quite as vivid, and the details become a bit fuzzy. We still recall the moment, but can’t quite re-capture the same delight as when it first occurred. The Lord understands our human weakness in re-call, and He offers us the grace of re-living the moment as for the first time, bringing it into the present for us. This is the same gift He gives us in the Mass – we’re not just remembering what Jesus has done for us, but rather it is re-presented with all the power of the original sacrifice when we enter into this Reality. We need to ask the help of the Holy Spirit to receive this grace, and He is only too ready to extend it to us!

This gift is especially helpful when we slip into desolation, and can be a sure remedy to restore us to a season of consolation. In the 10th Rule of St Ignatius we read, “When one enjoys consolation, let him consider how he will conduct himself during the time of ensuing desolation, and store up a supply of strength as defense against that day.” Consolation comes with times of drawing nearer to God, and Desolation is the opposite – becoming distant from God. We want to store up a supply of strength against the day of desolation – one way which can be to stock our Spiritual Pantry!

I first heard this term in the writing of Liz Kelly, and it brings to mind a visual image of a pantry, with shelves ready to receive and keep the consolations I have received in the past. The shelves are labeled: music that has lifted my heart, stories from books that have blessed me, family gatherings that were times of harmony and love… whatever terms are meaningful to identify the experience. The experiences stored in our Pantry are resources God has given us to leave Desolation and return to Consolation.

How do we begin ? Step one is the awareness that we are in desolation. St Ignatius begins all discernment with this step, becoming aware that we have lost our inner peace.

Step two is always to turn to the Holy Spirit, Who helps us to remember what we need. Having recognized the enemy at work, now we need to take action, step three! John 14:26, “the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My Name, will teach you all things, and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” Consolations are a gift from God, and He wants us to remember them, as being spoken to our hearts in experiences or words by Jesus.

The action here is to go to our Spiritual Pantry, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide us to the memory on the shelf that relates to our current situation. We retrieve the memory in prayer, and savor the grace received then and allow it to re-ignite our faith, hope and love for the present circumstance.

An experience related by a friend is an illustration of step two, turning to the Holy Spirit. She was in college, and had been negligent in attending a statistics class. Time came for the final exam, and receiving the questions, she realized she didn’t know how to proceed to answer them. In high school she had excelled in math, so she had within her the ability to do the work, but was at a loss with these particular questions. Having attended Catholic grade school, she remembered the teaching to always pray to the Holy Spirit before test taking, that He might bring to mind what she had learned and apply it to the test. Bowing her head, she invoked the Holy Spirit to do just that, and then proceeded to answer the questions, and turned in the exam paper.

Two days later her professor called her into his office. He stated that prior to taking the exam she was failing the course for lack of attendance and not turning in homework, but she had answered all the questions perfectly. Also she was the only one in the class who had written a perfect exam, and he knew she couldn’t have copied from anyone. However, she had shown only minimally how she had arrived at the answers; if she could explain how she did it, he would give her a B, otherwise she would get a C and pass the class. She didn’t disclose having prayed to the Holy Spirit, and she didn’t remember how she had arrived at the answers. But she passed happily with the C!

What an encouragement to ask the Holy Spirit to remind us what we need to proceed in any area of our lives! Particularly when in desolation, which is always from the enemy, to return us to the time of consolation where we can be the joyful witness to our faith that will be a blessing to ourselves and others!

This story is one of the items stored in my Spiritual Pantry. When I get stuck on a question, or need a boost to restore my joy, pulling this off the shelf and re-visiting it always re-ignites my faith and helps me to move forward in consolation.

Lord God, thank you for all the holy experiences you have blessed me with, times of consolation to be used as weapons against the snares of the enemy. May I not hesitate to open the Pantry and again receive the grace of Your love and care for me, gathered through the years and continuing to bring blessing, for me and for all those with whom they are to be shared…

93) Communion of Saints

November 2 is celebrated in the Catholic Church as the Feast of All Soul’s Day. This day is specially designated as a day to pray for the souls of all the faithful departed, especially those who are believed to be in purgatory, awaiting their journey to heaven. Purgatory is the place of “purification, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of heaven.” (CCC 1031). This purification is needed, for “nothing unclean will enter the presence of God in heaven.” (Rev 21:27)

It was Sunday, Nov 2, the Feast of All Souls Day, and my friend shared how she felt a particular spiritual energy at the early Sunday morning Mass she attended. She had recently lost a loved one, and that loss magnified the meaning of the Feast for her. It was an experience of a friend of hers at the second Sunday morning Mass that has blessed me, and all those with whom I’ve shared it.

Her friend shared how at a certain point in the Mass, the priest became visibly shaken, and turned away from the altar for a few moments to regain his composure. He finished the celebration, and at the conclusion shared what had happened that caused him to react like that. As he was looking out at the congregation, he began to see, seated in the pews, all the people at whose funerals he had officiated in this church. And as he continued to see them, members of his own family who had passed away were also present there. Overcome with emotion, he had to stop and turn away, so moved by this vision granted him by the Lord.

Her friend had recently lost her husband, and she also shared that as she stood before the priest to received the Eucharist, he paused. Something had caused him to wait a short time before offering her the Host. She stated that she truly felt the presence of her departed husband there with her in that precious moment.

What a gift they had all been given, and how blessed they were that their priest shared with them what he saw! As I heard this story, what came to my own imagination was a church filled with people I know who have passed away, all present there at the Mass, and asking my prayers to speed them on their journey. Holy anticipation filled the atmosphere, and joy at the thought of all those good people now praying for me, and for all those I hold in my heart. The communion of saints became more real, along with the recognition of the magnitude of this gift, and thanksgiving to the Good God Who has so arranged it!

Each time I hear a “glory story,” it strengthens my faith and encourages me to be more attentive to the invisible world that surrounds us. It‘s a catalyst for expectant faith, awaiting the next surprise the Lord has in store. “Open the eyes of my heart Lord, I want to see You” is the refrain from a praise and worship song. It’s the refrain of my heart too!

Lord God, help me to pay attention and be aware of Your Presence in the everyday circumstances of life. Give me the courage and the means to share these gifts, that others too may be blessed. I don’t want to miss You passing by…

91) Do It Now

Procrastination has been a challenge for me all my life. I’m reminded lately of my mom’s acronym, DIN! Do It Now! How I need to respond to that command, and recall how often in Scripture things were done “immediately,” “with haste!” Perhaps my problem has been with discerning just what it is that needs doing now! There are so many options, and it’s time to start whittling them down to the essentials, in the hope that actually doing it now can be accomplished! Where to start?

Making a list of non-negotiables can be a starting point. For me at this time in my life, this would include daily Mass whenever possible, and daily rosary, always possible. Checking the calendar to note appointments or meetings that are necessary should come next. Daily exercise of some sort has become more important, as I find myself spending way too much time sitting, often at the computer. So I’ll put a daily walk, and also my exercise video high on the list. I try to keep the kitchen tidy as my main contribution to housekeeping chores, and basic bedroom tidiness too. And that’s really about all of the essentials!

That leaves lots of room for the non-daily activities, like laundry, other cleaning, paying bills and other paperwork…. This is when I get bogged down, seeing the giant list of things that don’t demand immediate attention, aren’t on the daily essential list, but need to get done “sometime.” Ah, sometime… that smells like procrastination to me! Methinks I need a better plan ~

This brings me to mom’s second acronym – HIC = Help Is Coming! And the help she knew was always available came from the Lord! He would send people help, inspirational help, a Word from the Scriptures – but always something to get going and do the next right thing. Over and over the Scriptures remind us to ASK! So I’m asking now, Lord – help me to discern how to spend each moment of each precious day that You give me in a way that glorifies You and helps to fulfill the plan and purpose You have made me for today. I don’t want to just spin my wheels and waste the gift of time You’ve given me. I know that this isn’t about being more “productive,” but rather living in Your will for me each day, which naturally includes accomplishing whatever tasks You have set before me. I recognize these will include times of rest, times of silence with You, time in Your Word. I think of Bp David Rcken’s advice: “Each day, no more, no less, no sooner, no later than what the Lord asks of you.” Harmonize my life, Lord, that the music it produces may be pleasing to Your ear and create a symphony that will bring blessings to others. DIN and HIC – thank you mom!

Lord God, help me to live well the days remaining to me! I ask to hear Your Voice throughout each day, leading me on the path that accomplishes what’s necessary, and brings glory to You! Thank you for my mom’s wisdom, that whispers in my ear…