Tag: jesus

67) Self-reliance or Surrender

Self-reliance, or Surrender?

     I’m watching my grandchildren as they’re learning how to do things for themselves, growing in confidence as they manage simple tasks like drinking from a cup and using eating utensils.  Their achievements are met with encouragement and praise with each new skill mastered.  Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, all smile and applaud as the little ones soak in the love that is being showered upon them, helping them to risk trying the next challenge presented.  “Good job, Honey!”  “Way to go, Buddy!”  And as the kids are becoming more and more articulate, we hear “I did it!,” accompanied by a well deserved smile and self-satisfaction.

     In the world of faith my focus has become self-surrender, as the Word “without Me, you can do nothing,” (John 15:5)  echoes often in my thoughts.  I’m wondering how this transition takes place, and thinking it needs to begin right at the start.  Helping the little ones know that everything good comes from the Creator, from the Good God Who loves them and gives them the ability to do anything.  Knowing that He created us to learn and to grow, to use the gifts He’s given us, and that indeed all is gift from Him.  And to know too how pleased He is with their abilities and progress, that He too is cheering them on, and whispering “God job, My beloved daughter!” And “Way to go, beloved child of My Heart!”  My own heart desires to hear them respond, “See what God has helped me to do!”  And to know in their hearts that He is their constant help, that their accomplishments are pleasing to Him, and that He is always looking at them with love and encouragement.

     I recently heard Debbie Herbeck share how she encouraged her daughters, beginning at age 3, to look in the mirror each morning and repeat, “I am a beloved daughter of God.”  To teach them right from the start that they have been created by a Good God, Who loves them unconditionally, and will help them do all that they ever need to do, so they may become all they have been created to be.

     One of the primary obstacles to union with God is said to be “self-reliance.”  How we need to teach the little ones the necessary skills to master as they grow, within the framework of God’s provision.  As they grow, to help them to grasp the gift of the Holy Spirit Who enables them to function beyond their natural abilities, and accomplish “exceedingly abundantly beyond all we ask or imagine,” (Eph 3:20), all for the Glory of God!

     It seems it goes back to recognizing that they are not doing anything alone, but always with the help of the Good God who loves them.  As I’m becoming more aware of my own littleness, of my own nothingness, perhaps this reflection is for me.  I’m that little child, weak and helpless, but empowered by the very Holy Spirit Who raised Jesus from the tomb!

“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. (Rom 8:11)  Praise God  Who calls me to be always God-reliant and not self-reliant!  

     Lord God, thank you for reminding me of Your ever-present help and strength to do all You ask of me, as I watch our grandchildren learning new skills.  May we all know that indeed nothing is possible without You, not even the next breath we take, that we may live in the attitude of gratitude for all that you enable us to do and be, for Your praise and Glory…  

65) Resurrection

First Glorious Mystery – the Resurrection

     This mystery recalls a time of great sorrow and at the same time great hope – a reliving of the paschal mystery in my life.  Our marriage was crumbling after 36 years of what I had thought was a good marriage – how could I be so blind?  The soul searching and unraveling of our life together brought painful truth into the light, but with the anguish came a new and deeper relationship with the Lord, and the promise of new life  in Him.

      As I was trying to process the struggle we were experiencing, I took a few days to go up to our cabin in the North Woods.  On the drive, I listened to a tape by Paula D’Arcy, which spoke of her journey to a deeper trust and surrender to the Lord.  She related the story of her family’s kitchen table, made of sturdy oak, and always there, like an anchor for the family.  She did her homework there, ate there, entertained friends there – it was at the heart of the family life.  Then she had a dream, and in the dream the table vanished.  When she awoke, she recognized the dream as a call for a deeper surrender and reliance on God alone.  The title of the tape was about the second half of the Christian life – the first half has a solid structure, like the table, and the second half calls for the removal of that structure, and total dependence on God. It was a  good message for me to hear, and I thanked God for sending me the tape.

      When I got to the cabin, I went for a walk back to a little lake in the woods.  When I turned a bend approaching the lake, I stopped short.  A huge oak tree, which had been there forever, lay broken and fallen on the ground.  I had climbed that tree as a child; our four children had each climbed it in their turn; there was even a photo us sitting at its base on my refrigerator at home.  I went closer to look, and found that the tree was hollow, just as our marriage seemed to be.

     I cried, and then I smiled, recognizing God’s hand and timing.  He had prepared my heart on the way north with the tape, and now he was showing me this fallen oak tree.  Surely He knew every detail of our lives, and He would be with both of us through this present turbulent journey.

     When I got back to the cabin, I  opened the Bible and this verse jumped out at me: Isaiah 6:13  “…he will be like the stump of an oak tree that has been cut down.  The stump represents a new beginning for God’s people.”  The Bible at the cabin was a different translation than my one at home; the wording of this version was a perfect gift from God to me.

     It’s been a difficult road, but the image of the oak tree remains with me as a sign of God’s care and hope for the future.  God promises new life and resurrection glory; I’m experiencing that more and more as I put all my trust in Him…

     Lord God, thank You for preparing my heart and giving me the strength to endure the trials of life.  May my trust in You grow stronger each day, that I may be a witness to Your faithfulness and mercy, and experience the power of Your Resurrection ~

(Re-visit from Rosary Reflections, First Glorious Mystery)

62) Reconcilation gifting

The opportunity for Reconciliation was always especially meaningful when celebrated at the Cenacle of Our Lady of Divine Providence – it seems that the Lord often would bring up things from the past that were stumbling blocks to grace.

     At one of the sessions, I felt led to confess a sin of the past whose memory often haunted me.  I had confessed it in a general way previously, but now felt the need to be more explicit about the experience.  The priest was very helpful, as he assured me of God’s grace and mercy.  In thanksgiving, I went to the Adoration Chapel to express my gratitude to the Lord.

     As I sat before the tabernacle, the Lord gifted me with a beautiful image. I saw myself sitting on a bench beneath the Cross, with Mary sitting beside me with her arm around my shoulders.  In my lap I held a photo album – in it were pictures of the  situations I had confessed.  Jesus was on the Cross above us, and as we sat there, His precious Blood began to drip down on the photos, and each drop totally erased the pictures, making them white as if a drop of bleach had been put on them.  He was blotting out all those images with His precious Blood, so that I no longer saw them, but only saw a clean white frame, and felt the comfort of His Presence, and that of Our Blessed Mother.  Now whenever the enemy seeks to raise those pictures before my eyes again, all I see is that image of us sitting beneath the Cross, with those drops of precious Blood that make each photo all white.

      The Lord has blessed me several times by changing the way I remember a difficult experience.  Asking Him to show me where He was with me, or what He was doing, have brought forth images that provide healing grace to painful moments in time, and have allowed me to become more free.  What a beautiful way to bring healing, and to set the captives free!

     Lord God, thank You that You are a God outside of Time, Who has been with us throughout our lives and can bring healing and wholeness to all areas of our lives. Thank You for the healing balm of Your precious Blood, to wash away the stain of sin ~ 

(re-visited from Rosary Reflections, Sorrowful mystery, the Crucifixion. In this season of Lent, of Reconciliation, this memory has always blessed me. May it bring a blessing to others who may be unable to let go of images that want to rob us of our peace)

59) Lenten Resolution ~ silence

A new season of Lent, another opportunity to draw closer to Jesus, through Mary, to eternity! What resolution might help me on the journey? What came to mind was to commit to posting one “Musing” each week, long overdue. My friend’s weekly postings have been an inspiration and encouragement to do the same, so we’ll start today, and check back in at Easter to see how it went. I believe it will enrich my Lenten season, and hopefully drop a little grace for anyone who might chance to read them :). Here goes for week one:

“Be in the silent heart of Jesus”.   St Mother Terese Couderc.   2/15/24

     The words of St Mother Couderc to Anne Marie Schmidt have been coming to mind for me often lately.  To “be in the silent heart of Jesus.” What does that mean? What does it look like?

     For me, it’s a call to stop “thinking” and just BE with Jesus.  Taking a moment for prayer in the Spirit, and then a few moments of silence, close to His Sacred Heart.  WITHIN His Sacred Heart.  Going to a mental image of a location where I particularly am filled with the sense of wonder and awe at the Beauty of God’s Creation.  For me, this is in the woods Up North, in the Spring when the forget-me-nots are in full bloom and so thick, they look like a lake of brilliant blue in the woods.  Like steams of living water, gently moving with the breeze.

Our Marian Servant community is like the forget-me-nots.  The daisies?  Perhaps the Trinity, with the Saints and our Angels?  We’re all in this together, into eternity.

        How does this relate to “being in the silent heart of Jesus?” I’m reminded of the sacred silence that followed watching the film clip from “Saving Mr Banks.” It touched our hearts, our need for healing, and left us as a group in holy silence – any words spoken would surely have broken this tangible Presence we all felt.  The words from the song, “Mercy is falling, is falling, is falling…Mercy is falling like a sweet spring rain…” embodied the sense we had of God’s Presence, and His healing touch.  I want to spend more time in this precious place.  Not thinking, just Being with the Lord, in silence.     

Father God, help me to spend time with you in the Sacred Heart of Your Son.  In silence, just to BE there with Him.  To listen, to receive, and to bring Your love and mercy to a fearful and hurting world…