79) Keep Holy the Sabbath

     Remember the Sabbath, to keep it holy…. I’ve been reminded often lately of the commandment to keep holy the Sabbath.  Not just a suggestion, or a good thought, but a commandment of God Almighty! 

     I’m home alone most of today, with those words echoing in my thoughts as I go about various low key activities.  Blessed of course to begin the day spending some quiet time in my bedroom, praying my daily morning offering prayers, followed by holy Mass with my daughter and the little ones, always an adventure!  Of course, donuts after Mass, and meeting new parishioners was another good part of our Church time 🙂

     The words from the homily stuck with me today – the absolute necessity of daily prayer time!  As the rest of the family was headed out for various adventures, I took out my journal and asked, what next?

     I set my timer for 30 minutes and savored the words from tomorrow’s Gospel of Luke: “whoever receives this child in my name receives me, and the one who receives me receives the one who sent me.” Repeating these words over and over, my desire to receive the Father was strengthened.  I want to welcome Him into my heart, into our home, into every aspect of our lives. 

     Keeping these words close to my heart, I made a phone call to my sister-in-law to plan a visit, a text to secure an overnight bed, took a walk outdoors on this beautiful day and prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet, followed by a nap!

      Refreshed in body and spirit now, some time was spent on small household tasks, to help make life a little easier for this busy little family.  Prepping some fruit as I listened to Christian music, sweeping up a bit around the front entrance with the music still on my phone in my back pocket, picking up a few of the odds and ends that are wanting to find a home 🙂  “Cleanliness is next to godliness” is a phrase I’ve heard all my life, and whenever I manage to tidy up a spot or create more order, I know it’s pleasing to God and helps us all on our path to holiness 🙂

     It’s hot out today, so I sat down with a cool drink and did a little spiritual reading.  Today was Renewal Ministries monthly newsletter about their mission to Uganda, and was truly inspiring and encouraging to hear of the faith of the people there. Ralph Martin’s sense that the “hour” of the church in Africa has arrived spoke to my heart, and reminded me of the blessings of our visit to Zimbabwe, where we visited our friends who were doing medical missionary work there.  It also reminded me of my great niece’s mission work in Egypt now, and to pray for her and their family as they discern the next step hearing God’s call for a new location.  This prompted me to spend a little more time lifting certain recent intentions to the Lord, knowing He hears and answers each one as only He truly knows best.

     I was interrupted in thought by a text from our daughter in Canada – we had a phone date on the calendar for this afternoon, and she was checking to see if the timing was good!  I had forgotten!  But God hadn’t, and His timing was perfect!  We had a short chat, and were blessed to remember the gift of growing up in our little family in the early years when we had no money and our recreation was focused on simple outdoor adventures: going to the park, walking in the woods, spotting glow in the dark mushrooms!  We each spoke words of appreciation and encouragement, and especially gratitude for each other 🙂  

     Well, I just hung up and felt the next thing to do was to jot down these thoughts about keeping the Sabbath holy.  So here I am, with peace in my heart and deep gratitude for the gift of a day to “be still, and know that You are God.”  Indeed, Your gift of a Sabbath rest is essential to live a holy life that will bring blessing and healing to this fast-paced society we live in. May I keep the remainder of this day as a Day of the Lord, for His praise and Glory!

     Thank you Lord, for Your commandment to keep holy the Sabbath. How much we need this time to slow down, connect with friends and family, and enjoy the beauty of Your creation!  To gather for worship and prayer, receive Your Word, and seek to live it each day in gratitude for life itself, and all the blessings you provide.  Be with me now as I listen and follow Your lead to whatever You desire of me next…

PS – “next” included playing in the sandbox with my grandson and helping with apple peeling and dinner dishes, all wrapped up in evening prayer.  I feel like this is what is looks like for me to keep holy the Sabbath 🙂 Thank You Lord!

78) Stay Home

At the National Eucharistic Congress, I was blessed with an image of the Lord Jesus, sitting in the armchair in my bedroom and waiting there for me at home.  Home – the place where I’m with Jesus; safe, comforted, protected, at peace :). I saw myself as a little girl, entering the room, coming to sit on His lap, and He wrapped us up in the afghan that had been crocheted by my mom, with a prayer for each stitch.  What a precious place to be, warm and cozy, snuggled close to His Heart! 

     Sharing this image and story with my spiritual director, I mentioned that a word that has been reappearing in my journals has been, “Stay Home!”  The temptation to run off to various spiritual opportunities has not always been in balance with my duties and responsibilities as a wife and mother. I’ve been seeking to come to the right equilibrium as this word continues to show up!

     As our session continued, more thoughts of Home began coming to mind, in different variations.  I’ve moved a fair amount in the last ten years, as I’ve cared for my Mom in her last years, experienced divorce, and moved from our house to a house of my own, then to a small apartment, a more permanent apartment, and now to two bedrooms in my daughter’s house.  In the process of these later moves I’ve recognized that Home for me is being close to a Tabernacle, where Jesus is always present and waiting for me.

     The last several moves brought me to a new geographical place, away from friends and Church community I had known for more than 40 years.  These moves have brought me to two new faith communities, starting all over again in meeting fellow parishioners.  Yet this sense of Home, always having an Adoration chapel and daily Mass as an anchor have made the transitions quite smooth.  I’ve been so grateful for the generous hospitality offered in these parishes to newcomers like me.   

     The Girl Scout song I learned years ago comes to mind here: “Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, but the other Gold.”  The Gold is my friendship with Jesus, and to be with Him is always a coming Home.

     Today I’m at our family cabin the the North Woods, a place that has always been Home for me.  My parents bought it in 1946, when I was just one year old, and it’s been the place of family connecting and a stable peaceful retreat location as I’ve made all the many geographical moves in my lifetime.  From city to city, state to state, house to apartment, this spot has always been there, always a coming Home destination. 

      As I sit here at the family table, I see the names of our family members which had been etched on the chairs around the table.  I’m surrounded by the communion of saints, praying for me and calling me to join them in the eternal Home, in Heaven!   

     Another level of Home began to surface in reflection, that being the reality that Home is in my very own heart, where Jesus resides always.  In the wake of the Congress, with the Eucharistic Pilgrimages, I came to recognize that each one of us is actually a Eucharistic Procession, as we carry Jesus with us wherever we go!  I can envision Christians around the world, each with the Light of Christ within them, radiating that Light and bringing it’s Glow into the darkness of this suffering world.

     “Home is where the Heart is,” is a saying that’s often been shared.  If indeed Jesus lives in my heart, as His Word proclaims, I’m always at Home, no matter the time or location. I can indeed stay home, for Home is in my Heart! May I continue to live in that awareness of Jesus in my heart, to “stay Home” through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and Home to the Heart of the Father in Heaven!

     Lord God, thank you for all the images and remembrances of Home.  Thank You for connecting the dots between Home and Heart, between Home here and Home in Heaven.  Thank you for calling us to live in communion with Your Heart, present within us, and to bring the Love of Your Heart to all we meet, to stay in the intimacy of Home with You… 

77) Call to Holiness

     A friend was sharing about a book she had recently read and enjoyed, which sounded like a nice easy read for the summer.  I ordered a copy, expecting to relax and enter into its narrative, touching on memories that resonated with my own growing up years in the country.  The book also spoke of the author’s first romance, experienced in an era of more grace and restraint than our modern culture demonstrates.  As I read of the budding romance that led to marriage, I was struck by the purity of the courtship, and surprised by how my heart was being moved, to the point that tears began to flow freely.

     I’m not one to cry often, and rarely in the presence of other people, so the intimacy of entering into this story proved to be a place where I was more open to God’s touch.  For indeed He was touching my heart, and I didn’t understand why.  When I casually mentioned my crying experience to my daughters, they asked me the “why” question, and I didn’t elaborate for two reasons.  One (1), I knew I would begin to cry again (I could feel it!), and Two (2), I didn’t know the answer. 

     A classic rule of a spiritual direction session is to bring forward the thing you least want to talk about. So, obedient to the model, I started to relate this experience to my director, and sure enough, there were the tears again, waiting to come forth! She gave me some space, and then named the word that solved the “why.”  It was “Purity.”  The beauty of witnessing 

Purity, and how it blessed the people who were embracing it in their relationship, was a grace of God.  A gift, that He wanted me to recognize and receive.

     As I thought about this reality, another conversation confirmed it for me. I was briefly mentioning being surprised by tears as I read a book, without going into any detail or speaking of purity.  My friend immediately connected with my experience, as he spoke of also being surprised by tears recently.  He was googling “stuff” and came across a clip of four little girls singing the national anthem at a football game in Texas.  He clarified that he was not drawn to any of those details; little girls, Texas, football or the national anthem. What touched his heart, as it had touched mine, was the purity, the beauty, of the singing.  Their voices were in perfect sync with one another, and the arrangement had some additional harmony that was excellent.  He found himself crying, it was so pure, and I would add, holy.

     Vatican II has called all the baptized to a Universal Call to Holiness.  I’m recognizing in this call how much Purity, a manifestation of Beauty, is central to holiness. I googled Truth, Beauty and Goodness and came up with these thoughts: “Truth, Beauty and Goodness are considered to be transcendentals, or eternal attributes of being that are present in all things created by God… God is the source of these attributes, and possesses them in their ultimate perfection… Humans, since they are made in the image and likeness of God, not only have the attributes as a reflection of Him, but are also aware of these transcendentals and are drawn to them because the desire to seek God out is written in the human heart.” (From http://www.corpuschristiphx.org, June 2021)

      These words brought great consolation to my heart, as my friend who was moved by the purity / Beauty of the little girls’ singing is presently at odds with God and outwardly resistant to His Love.  I rejoice to know that his response to  these attributes corresponds to the desire to seek God that is written in his heart!  I’ve known and believe that God has His Hand on him, and this series of events has confirmed that for me, praise God!

     Thank You Lord, for the gift of tears experienced and shared which has opened another window to Your Goodness. Thank you for Your attribute of Beauty, manifest in purity that lifts up the call to Holiness. Thank You for again weaving experiences and events together in unexpected and surprising ways to reassure me of Your love and care for those I hold in my heart.  May I continue to trust in Your Divine Providence as You make Your Goodness manifest to eyes that are open…

70) In Persona Christi

70)  In Persona Christi        6/23/24

     The Church teaches that our priests are “in persona Christi,” in the very person of Christ.  This has come home to me in a way that reinforces the reality of God’s personal knowledge and love for little me; He recognizes and knows me! 

      It’s always a delight when I meet someone I haven’t seen for a while and their face lights up as we recognize each other!  It’s obvious that they remember me, and that they’re happy to see me 🙂 (Me too!)  Gathering for family celebrations, meeting at conferences, and just bumping into people at the grocery store are all opportunities the Lord provides to bring His children together as family.

      The ones that have really spoken to my heart are when a holy priest (or even a bishop!) recognizes little me, and their look conveys a warm welcome.  There are so very many people that call for the attention of our pastors, I often marvel that they are able to keep us all straight!  As I enter my late 70’s, I’m that much more aware of seeing people that look familiar, and searching my memory files to identify how we’re connected 🙂  When the name and relationship come in to focus, it’s a real gift!

    As the Lord has been reminding me again and again, He really knows ME, and He provides circumstances and  happy surprises to confirm that in my heart 🙂  I think of going to Mass in a small town far from home, and as I approached the pastor to receive Jesus, he recognized me, and said my name, Ann!  He had prepared me for entrance into the Catholic Church 40 years ago, and I hadn’t seem him in a long time.  In my spirit, I heard Jesus through this good priest call my name, and smile at me.   

     I remember a special Bishop remembering my name as we headed on the Quo Vadis boat to Holy Name Retreat House at Chambers Island; we hadn’t seen each other in several years, but he remembered me, and called me by name!  

     Going to Mass in another small town away from home, there was my spiritual director as the celerbrant – he knows me well, but was surprised to see me there, and his happy and inviting greeting came to me as straight from Jesus; this priest was in persona Christi.  

     The most recent was at the a very large Mass with the Bishop presiding.  My friends, who were ahead of me in the communion line, switched to the Bishop’s line, and I followed them.  When he raised the Host, speaking those precious words, “the Body of Christ,” his eyes met mine, and lit up enough for me to know that he too recognized me, remembered me, and that it was a happy memory for him!  Again, we hadn’t seen each other in several years, but had some written correspondence that had been a blessing for us both, and had created that bond of friendship that is centered on Christ.  Once again I was reminded, “God Himself knows you, He remembers you, and He’s delighted to bless you again with a gift that would be meaningful only to you.  He loves YOU!” (ME!!!). My heart sings with gratitude to the Good God Who can never be outdone in His generous love for His little children!

Lord God, how grateful I am for the repeated reminders of Your personal intimate love for me; that You know me, remember me, and delight in surprising me with this gift, offered especially through Your holy priests, “in persona Christi!”  May You speak to each of their hearts so personally also, as they bring Your love and mercy to Your children…

68) Poem – Come Holy Spirit!

Easter season

     Extending to Pentecost

          Basking in the Resurrection

     Waiting for the Spirit

I’ve come back to Galilee

     Here at the cabin

          In the Upper Room

     Gazing out on the Lake

The water’s really high

     Wind is picking up

          Waves washing on the shoreline

     Whitecaps out on the Lake

Come Holy Spirit!

      Fill me anew!

           Baptize me again

      Each and every day

Fresh in filling of Your Spirit

      I can’t really Live without it

           Your Life within me

      Making all things New

National Renewal

     Calling for a Nine Year Novena!

           Pentecost 2033

     Calling every  Christian

Pray for Your Mercy

     Pray for Your Peace

           Only You can save us

     From the disorder in our lives

Re-order us to Your Love

     Receive It and give It back

          To everyone we encounter

     All beloved of You

Wind is blowing stronger

     Trees bending and waving

          Bowing to Your Power

     Proclaiming Your Praises!

Thank You Lord, Praise You!

     Preparing our hearts

          Preparing for Your coming

     Today, and every day

Preparing our Nation

     Turning hearts back to You

          Source of All we long for

     Your peace within our hearts

“Acquire interior peace

      And many will find salvation

           Near you” 

      St Seraphim of Sarov

Come Holy Spirit

     Fill me With Your Peace

          How much our broken world needs You

     Fill me afresh today!

Peace as prelude to Union

     Union with the Holy God

           You made us to be one with You

     One with Holy Trinity!

67) Self-reliance or Surrender

Self-reliance, or Surrender?

     I’m watching my grandchildren as they’re learning how to do things for themselves, growing in confidence as they manage simple tasks like drinking from a cup and using eating utensils.  Their achievements are met with encouragement and praise with each new skill mastered.  Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, all smile and applaud as the little ones soak in the love that is being showered upon them, helping them to risk trying the next challenge presented.  “Good job, Honey!”  “Way to go, Buddy!”  And as the kids are becoming more and more articulate, we hear “I did it!,” accompanied by a well deserved smile and self-satisfaction.

     In the world of faith my focus has become self-surrender, as the Word “without Me, you can do nothing,” (John 15:5)  echoes often in my thoughts.  I’m wondering how this transition takes place, and thinking it needs to begin right at the start.  Helping the little ones know that everything good comes from the Creator, from the Good God Who loves them and gives them the ability to do anything.  Knowing that He created us to learn and to grow, to use the gifts He’s given us, and that indeed all is gift from Him.  And to know too how pleased He is with their abilities and progress, that He too is cheering them on, and whispering “God job, My beloved daughter!” And “Way to go, beloved child of My Heart!”  My own heart desires to hear them respond, “See what God has helped me to do!”  And to know in their hearts that He is their constant help, that their accomplishments are pleasing to Him, and that He is always looking at them with love and encouragement.

     I recently heard Debbie Herbeck share how she encouraged her daughters, beginning at age 3, to look in the mirror each morning and repeat, “I am a beloved daughter of God.”  To teach them right from the start that they have been created by a Good God, Who loves them unconditionally, and will help them do all that they ever need to do, so they may become all they have been created to be.

     One of the primary obstacles to union with God is said to be “self-reliance.”  How we need to teach the little ones the necessary skills to master as they grow, within the framework of God’s provision.  As they grow, to help them to grasp the gift of the Holy Spirit Who enables them to function beyond their natural abilities, and accomplish “exceedingly abundantly beyond all we ask or imagine,” (Eph 3:20), all for the Glory of God!

     It seems it goes back to recognizing that they are not doing anything alone, but always with the help of the Good God who loves them.  As I’m becoming more aware of my own littleness, of my own nothingness, perhaps this reflection is for me.  I’m that little child, weak and helpless, but empowered by the very Holy Spirit Who raised Jesus from the tomb!

“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. (Rom 8:11)  Praise God  Who calls me to be always God-reliant and not self-reliant!  

     Lord God, thank you for reminding me of Your ever-present help and strength to do all You ask of me, as I watch our grandchildren learning new skills.  May we all know that indeed nothing is possible without You, not even the next breath we take, that we may live in the attitude of gratitude for all that you enable us to do and be, for Your praise and Glory…  

65) Resurrection

First Glorious Mystery – the Resurrection

     This mystery recalls a time of great sorrow and at the same time great hope – a reliving of the paschal mystery in my life.  Our marriage was crumbling after 36 years of what I had thought was a good marriage – how could I be so blind?  The soul searching and unraveling of our life together brought painful truth into the light, but with the anguish came a new and deeper relationship with the Lord, and the promise of new life  in Him.

      As I was trying to process the struggle we were experiencing, I took a few days to go up to our cabin in the North Woods.  On the drive, I listened to a tape by Paula D’Arcy, which spoke of her journey to a deeper trust and surrender to the Lord.  She related the story of her family’s kitchen table, made of sturdy oak, and always there, like an anchor for the family.  She did her homework there, ate there, entertained friends there – it was at the heart of the family life.  Then she had a dream, and in the dream the table vanished.  When she awoke, she recognized the dream as a call for a deeper surrender and reliance on God alone.  The title of the tape was about the second half of the Christian life – the first half has a solid structure, like the table, and the second half calls for the removal of that structure, and total dependence on God. It was a  good message for me to hear, and I thanked God for sending me the tape.

      When I got to the cabin, I went for a walk back to a little lake in the woods.  When I turned a bend approaching the lake, I stopped short.  A huge oak tree, which had been there forever, lay broken and fallen on the ground.  I had climbed that tree as a child; our four children had each climbed it in their turn; there was even a photo us sitting at its base on my refrigerator at home.  I went closer to look, and found that the tree was hollow, just as our marriage seemed to be.

     I cried, and then I smiled, recognizing God’s hand and timing.  He had prepared my heart on the way north with the tape, and now he was showing me this fallen oak tree.  Surely He knew every detail of our lives, and He would be with both of us through this present turbulent journey.

     When I got back to the cabin, I  opened the Bible and this verse jumped out at me: Isaiah 6:13  “…he will be like the stump of an oak tree that has been cut down.  The stump represents a new beginning for God’s people.”  The Bible at the cabin was a different translation than my one at home; the wording of this version was a perfect gift from God to me.

     It’s been a difficult road, but the image of the oak tree remains with me as a sign of God’s care and hope for the future.  God promises new life and resurrection glory; I’m experiencing that more and more as I put all my trust in Him…

     Lord God, thank You for preparing my heart and giving me the strength to endure the trials of life.  May my trust in You grow stronger each day, that I may be a witness to Your faithfulness and mercy, and experience the power of Your Resurrection ~

(Re-visit from Rosary Reflections, First Glorious Mystery)

62) Reconcilation gifting

The opportunity for Reconciliation was always especially meaningful when celebrated at the Cenacle of Our Lady of Divine Providence – it seems that the Lord often would bring up things from the past that were stumbling blocks to grace.

     At one of the sessions, I felt led to confess a sin of the past whose memory often haunted me.  I had confessed it in a general way previously, but now felt the need to be more explicit about the experience.  The priest was very helpful, as he assured me of God’s grace and mercy.  In thanksgiving, I went to the Adoration Chapel to express my gratitude to the Lord.

     As I sat before the tabernacle, the Lord gifted me with a beautiful image. I saw myself sitting on a bench beneath the Cross, with Mary sitting beside me with her arm around my shoulders.  In my lap I held a photo album – in it were pictures of the  situations I had confessed.  Jesus was on the Cross above us, and as we sat there, His precious Blood began to drip down on the photos, and each drop totally erased the pictures, making them white as if a drop of bleach had been put on them.  He was blotting out all those images with His precious Blood, so that I no longer saw them, but only saw a clean white frame, and felt the comfort of His Presence, and that of Our Blessed Mother.  Now whenever the enemy seeks to raise those pictures before my eyes again, all I see is that image of us sitting beneath the Cross, with those drops of precious Blood that make each photo all white.

      The Lord has blessed me several times by changing the way I remember a difficult experience.  Asking Him to show me where He was with me, or what He was doing, have brought forth images that provide healing grace to painful moments in time, and have allowed me to become more free.  What a beautiful way to bring healing, and to set the captives free!

     Lord God, thank You that You are a God outside of Time, Who has been with us throughout our lives and can bring healing and wholeness to all areas of our lives. Thank You for the healing balm of Your precious Blood, to wash away the stain of sin ~ 

(re-visited from Rosary Reflections, Sorrowful mystery, the Crucifixion. In this season of Lent, of Reconciliation, this memory has always blessed me. May it bring a blessing to others who may be unable to let go of images that want to rob us of our peace)

59) Lenten Resolution ~ silence

A new season of Lent, another opportunity to draw closer to Jesus, through Mary, to eternity! What resolution might help me on the journey? What came to mind was to commit to posting one “Musing” each week, long overdue. My friend’s weekly postings have been an inspiration and encouragement to do the same, so we’ll start today, and check back in at Easter to see how it went. I believe it will enrich my Lenten season, and hopefully drop a little grace for anyone who might chance to read them :). Here goes for week one:

“Be in the silent heart of Jesus”.   St Mother Terese Couderc.   2/15/24

     The words of St Mother Couderc to Anne Marie Schmidt have been coming to mind for me often lately.  To “be in the silent heart of Jesus.” What does that mean? What does it look like?

     For me, it’s a call to stop “thinking” and just BE with Jesus.  Taking a moment for prayer in the Spirit, and then a few moments of silence, close to His Sacred Heart.  WITHIN His Sacred Heart.  Going to a mental image of a location where I particularly am filled with the sense of wonder and awe at the Beauty of God’s Creation.  For me, this is in the woods Up North, in the Spring when the forget-me-nots are in full bloom and so thick, they look like a lake of brilliant blue in the woods.  Like steams of living water, gently moving with the breeze.

Our Marian Servant community is like the forget-me-nots.  The daisies?  Perhaps the Trinity, with the Saints and our Angels?  We’re all in this together, into eternity.

        How does this relate to “being in the silent heart of Jesus?” I’m reminded of the sacred silence that followed watching the film clip from “Saving Mr Banks.” It touched our hearts, our need for healing, and left us as a group in holy silence – any words spoken would surely have broken this tangible Presence we all felt.  The words from the song, “Mercy is falling, is falling, is falling…Mercy is falling like a sweet spring rain…” embodied the sense we had of God’s Presence, and His healing touch.  I want to spend more time in this precious place.  Not thinking, just Being with the Lord, in silence.     

Father God, help me to spend time with you in the Sacred Heart of Your Son.  In silence, just to BE there with Him.  To listen, to receive, and to bring Your love and mercy to a fearful and hurting world…