Category: Musings

68) Poem – Come Holy Spirit!

Easter season

     Extending to Pentecost

          Basking in the Resurrection

     Waiting for the Spirit

I’ve come back to Galilee

     Here at the cabin

          In the Upper Room

     Gazing out on the Lake

The water’s really high

     Wind is picking up

          Waves washing on the shoreline

     Whitecaps out on the Lake

Come Holy Spirit!

      Fill me anew!

           Baptize me again

      Each and every day

Fresh in filling of Your Spirit

      I can’t really Live without it

           Your Life within me

      Making all things New

National Renewal

     Calling for a Nine Year Novena!

           Pentecost 2033

     Calling every  Christian

Pray for Your Mercy

     Pray for Your Peace

           Only You can save us

     From the disorder in our lives

Re-order us to Your Love

     Receive It and give It back

          To everyone we encounter

     All beloved of You

Wind is blowing stronger

     Trees bending and waving

          Bowing to Your Power

     Proclaiming Your Praises!

Thank You Lord, Praise You!

     Preparing our hearts

          Preparing for Your coming

     Today, and every day

Preparing our Nation

     Turning hearts back to You

          Source of All we long for

     Your peace within our hearts

“Acquire interior peace

      And many will find salvation

           Near you” 

      St Seraphim of Sarov

Come Holy Spirit

     Fill me With Your Peace

          How much our broken world needs You

     Fill me afresh today!

Peace as prelude to Union

     Union with the Holy God

           You made us to be one with You

     One with Holy Trinity!

67) Self-reliance or Surrender

Self-reliance, or Surrender?

     I’m watching my grandchildren as they’re learning how to do things for themselves, growing in confidence as they manage simple tasks like drinking from a cup and using eating utensils.  Their achievements are met with encouragement and praise with each new skill mastered.  Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, all smile and applaud as the little ones soak in the love that is being showered upon them, helping them to risk trying the next challenge presented.  “Good job, Honey!”  “Way to go, Buddy!”  And as the kids are becoming more and more articulate, we hear “I did it!,” accompanied by a well deserved smile and self-satisfaction.

     In the world of faith my focus has become self-surrender, as the Word “without Me, you can do nothing,” (John 15:5)  echoes often in my thoughts.  I’m wondering how this transition takes place, and thinking it needs to begin right at the start.  Helping the little ones know that everything good comes from the Creator, from the Good God Who loves them and gives them the ability to do anything.  Knowing that He created us to learn and to grow, to use the gifts He’s given us, and that indeed all is gift from Him.  And to know too how pleased He is with their abilities and progress, that He too is cheering them on, and whispering “God job, My beloved daughter!” And “Way to go, beloved child of My Heart!”  My own heart desires to hear them respond, “See what God has helped me to do!”  And to know in their hearts that He is their constant help, that their accomplishments are pleasing to Him, and that He is always looking at them with love and encouragement.

     I recently heard Debbie Herbeck share how she encouraged her daughters, beginning at age 3, to look in the mirror each morning and repeat, “I am a beloved daughter of God.”  To teach them right from the start that they have been created by a Good God, Who loves them unconditionally, and will help them do all that they ever need to do, so they may become all they have been created to be.

     One of the primary obstacles to union with God is said to be “self-reliance.”  How we need to teach the little ones the necessary skills to master as they grow, within the framework of God’s provision.  As they grow, to help them to grasp the gift of the Holy Spirit Who enables them to function beyond their natural abilities, and accomplish “exceedingly abundantly beyond all we ask or imagine,” (Eph 3:20), all for the Glory of God!

     It seems it goes back to recognizing that they are not doing anything alone, but always with the help of the Good God who loves them.  As I’m becoming more aware of my own littleness, of my own nothingness, perhaps this reflection is for me.  I’m that little child, weak and helpless, but empowered by the very Holy Spirit Who raised Jesus from the tomb!

“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. (Rom 8:11)  Praise God  Who calls me to be always God-reliant and not self-reliant!  

     Lord God, thank you for reminding me of Your ever-present help and strength to do all You ask of me, as I watch our grandchildren learning new skills.  May we all know that indeed nothing is possible without You, not even the next breath we take, that we may live in the attitude of gratitude for all that you enable us to do and be, for Your praise and Glory…  

66) Spiritual Sketchercises

“Learning to pray is a skill.“ This was one of the first themes I was to pray with as I was being instructed in lectio divina. The theme was accompanied by a grace to seek, and the grace for this theme was “to be a better listener in prayer.” We were taught to beg for a specific grace whenever we pray, and then to pay attention to see how that grace is being answered as we pray with the Scriptures. Foundational to any relationship with God is prayer, as the means of listening for that still small Voice to which we so long to hear and respond. 

     I was eager to begin this new chapter in relationship with God, so received several Scripture verses from my director, with the instruction to spend an hour with each passage. Then I was to share what I had experienced at our meeting each day of the 5 day directed retreat. One problem persistently arose however; when I pray, I usually close my eyes, and when I close my eyes, within 5 minutes I’m asleep! This has been a pattern for me as long as I can remember, and needless to say was proving to be a challenge to my prayer times. How to stay awake and truly enter in to the conversation with the Lord? 

     One strategy that seemed to work was to sketch what I was experiencing in my prayer time. I’ve come to think of that as a spiritual sketchercises, especially as I did a lot of that when going through the 36 weeks of the Annotated 19 Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. I didn’t always fall asleep :), by often enough to make the sketching seem productive and helpful for prayer. As I sketched or doodled what was coming to mind, it would often find it’s own life and draw me more deeply into communion with the Lord. I usually followed this with a colloquy, or conversation with one of several Persons of the Trinity, or with Mary, or one of the Saints. I would write to them, and then pause and write down what I felt Their response to me might me, often surprising me with an insight or words that were a blessing to me. 

     This process has been such a blessing to my growth in prayer, it was suggested that it might help others to share some of the entries from my journals as a sample. Always we recognize that any gifts given to us by the Good God are never just for ourselves alone, but always meant to be freely given. As I’ve come to recognize the gift this has been for me, it’s a delight to share them with you as we seek together to build and strengthen the Kingdom of God in our midst. 

65) Resurrection

First Glorious Mystery – the Resurrection

     This mystery recalls a time of great sorrow and at the same time great hope – a reliving of the paschal mystery in my life.  Our marriage was crumbling after 36 years of what I had thought was a good marriage – how could I be so blind?  The soul searching and unraveling of our life together brought painful truth into the light, but with the anguish came a new and deeper relationship with the Lord, and the promise of new life  in Him.

      As I was trying to process the struggle we were experiencing, I took a few days to go up to our cabin in the North Woods.  On the drive, I listened to a tape by Paula D’Arcy, which spoke of her journey to a deeper trust and surrender to the Lord.  She related the story of her family’s kitchen table, made of sturdy oak, and always there, like an anchor for the family.  She did her homework there, ate there, entertained friends there – it was at the heart of the family life.  Then she had a dream, and in the dream the table vanished.  When she awoke, she recognized the dream as a call for a deeper surrender and reliance on God alone.  The title of the tape was about the second half of the Christian life – the first half has a solid structure, like the table, and the second half calls for the removal of that structure, and total dependence on God. It was a  good message for me to hear, and I thanked God for sending me the tape.

      When I got to the cabin, I went for a walk back to a little lake in the woods.  When I turned a bend approaching the lake, I stopped short.  A huge oak tree, which had been there forever, lay broken and fallen on the ground.  I had climbed that tree as a child; our four children had each climbed it in their turn; there was even a photo us sitting at its base on my refrigerator at home.  I went closer to look, and found that the tree was hollow, just as our marriage seemed to be.

     I cried, and then I smiled, recognizing God’s hand and timing.  He had prepared my heart on the way north with the tape, and now he was showing me this fallen oak tree.  Surely He knew every detail of our lives, and He would be with both of us through this present turbulent journey.

     When I got back to the cabin, I  opened the Bible and this verse jumped out at me: Isaiah 6:13  “…he will be like the stump of an oak tree that has been cut down.  The stump represents a new beginning for God’s people.”  The Bible at the cabin was a different translation than my one at home; the wording of this version was a perfect gift from God to me.

     It’s been a difficult road, but the image of the oak tree remains with me as a sign of God’s care and hope for the future.  God promises new life and resurrection glory; I’m experiencing that more and more as I put all my trust in Him…

     Lord God, thank You for preparing my heart and giving me the strength to endure the trials of life.  May my trust in You grow stronger each day, that I may be a witness to Your faithfulness and mercy, and experience the power of Your Resurrection ~

(Re-visit from Rosary Reflections, First Glorious Mystery)

63) Scourging at the Pillar

     We were at the Dunrovin Retreat Center near St. Paul, with a group of ladies from Transfiguration Parish in Woodbury for an Emmaus Retreat. Part of the retreat includes receiving a drawing that has been artistically created by another Emmaus sister, who has asked the Holy Spirit to inspire her with an image that will speak to the person who receives it with a personal message of God’s intimate love for them. 

      When all had received their drawings, we were given the opportunity to share how they spoke to us, or if there was some special significance for them.  The stories are often so beautiful and amazing, and truly do show that God works through our efforts to bring His love personally to the hearts of each of us.

      One of the ladies stood up and showed us the drawing she had received, which had 3 beautiful red fall leaves on it.  The Lord had touched her heart, and it was visible to us as she shared her story…

    

There had been some free time in the afternoon, and some of the ladies had gone outside for a walk.  It was early October, and the leaves were just beginning to turn; the weather was cool and overcast, but a good time for quiet reflection and communion with  the Lord.  We had been assigned prayer partners, and she decided to pray a rosary for her prayer partner while she walked.  She chose the sorrowful mysteries, although it was Saturday, and was quietly praying the rosary and meditating on the second sorrowful mystery, the scourging at the pillar, and thinking about the precious blood Jesus had shed for us and the pain he had endured in the scourging.  Her heart was moved as she meditated on this mystery, and then she became aware that she was walking through an abundance of bright red leaves on the path, although she couldn’t identify any tree in the area where they might have fallen from.  She said she felt like she was walking right through His Blood, and It was covering us all with His protection and anointing.  It was a sacred and holy moment for her – she hadn’t mentioned it to anyone else.  And then when she received her drawing, there were these 3 bright red leaves…

     Thank You Lord, for Your intimate knowledge of each one of us, and for pouring Your Love into our hearts in so many unexpected and personal ways.  May we always have eyes open to see and ears open to hear that our hearts may be touched by Your grace and filled afresh with the fire of Your Love ~

62) Reconcilation gifting

The opportunity for Reconciliation was always especially meaningful when celebrated at the Cenacle of Our Lady of Divine Providence – it seems that the Lord often would bring up things from the past that were stumbling blocks to grace.

     At one of the sessions, I felt led to confess a sin of the past whose memory often haunted me.  I had confessed it in a general way previously, but now felt the need to be more explicit about the experience.  The priest was very helpful, as he assured me of God’s grace and mercy.  In thanksgiving, I went to the Adoration Chapel to express my gratitude to the Lord.

     As I sat before the tabernacle, the Lord gifted me with a beautiful image. I saw myself sitting on a bench beneath the Cross, with Mary sitting beside me with her arm around my shoulders.  In my lap I held a photo album – in it were pictures of the  situations I had confessed.  Jesus was on the Cross above us, and as we sat there, His precious Blood began to drip down on the photos, and each drop totally erased the pictures, making them white as if a drop of bleach had been put on them.  He was blotting out all those images with His precious Blood, so that I no longer saw them, but only saw a clean white frame, and felt the comfort of His Presence, and that of Our Blessed Mother.  Now whenever the enemy seeks to raise those pictures before my eyes again, all I see is that image of us sitting beneath the Cross, with those drops of precious Blood that make each photo all white.

      The Lord has blessed me several times by changing the way I remember a difficult experience.  Asking Him to show me where He was with me, or what He was doing, have brought forth images that provide healing grace to painful moments in time, and have allowed me to become more free.  What a beautiful way to bring healing, and to set the captives free!

     Lord God, thank You that You are a God outside of Time, Who has been with us throughout our lives and can bring healing and wholeness to all areas of our lives. Thank You for the healing balm of Your precious Blood, to wash away the stain of sin ~ 

(re-visited from Rosary Reflections, Sorrowful mystery, the Crucifixion. In this season of Lent, of Reconciliation, this memory has always blessed me. May it bring a blessing to others who may be unable to let go of images that want to rob us of our peace)

61) Salvation

Salvation

     I recently met a young woman, I’ll call her Beth, who struck me as being so pure and sweet, joyful and with a sense of peace about her.  We were at a conference together, and many of the participants wore anxious expressions, and spoke of the fears and troubles they were dealing with.

Not my new friend; Beth’s words were filled with gratitude and thanksgiving for God’s blessings to her throughout her life.

     Our conversation reminded me of a talk I heard years ago.  The speaker was a young woman named Cary who was making a presentation to a group of other young people who were acquainted with her – the know her background story.  A young man was the co-presenter, and he was the first to speak to the group.  He shared how when he had been immersed in the darkness of addiction and poor choices, of sin, the Lord had come and rescued him.  He had been pulled from the swamp and brought into the Kingdom of Light, and was now helping others to find their lifeline in Jesus.

     Cary spoke next, and to the surprise of the audience, she began by speaking of how God had saved her from drinking, from promiscuity, from many sinful behaviors and activities.  Her audience was taken aback, because this wasn’t the story they thought they knew of her life.  The part that has touched my heart is what she said next; God had saved her from all these before she ever was involved in any of them.  He had kept her from making the poor choices that would have led her down the path she described.

     Being with Beth and listening to her innocence, I recognized that here was another child of God who had been shielded from the negative repercussions of bad choices – she had been saved from them without even realizing it.  

     A recent question in a devotional I’m reading asked the question, “Do I really believe that Jesus is my Savior?”  As I prayed with this, it became apparent that yes, I can see in my own life all the negative things that the Lord saved me from experiencing. He is even now saving me from doubt, from loneliness, from feeling rejected or abandoned.  Those things which I may identify as having been difficult, from which He didn’t “save” me, have been sources of growth in faith and love, for which I am now grateful!  

     We’ve been re-visiting St Therese’s STORY OF A SOUL, where the word “little” resounds thoughout her testimony, shedding  light on her own purity of heart and innocence.  All of this has come together in a beautiful way to fill my heart with gratitude once more, for God’s Goodness to me, and for how He has highlighted it with the stories of Beth, Cary, and St Therese.  I thank God  for the gift of Salvation, brought home to me on so many levels.  

Lord God, thank You for the gift of Salvation!  Poured out on me from the moment of my conception, and as the promise of life eternal with You.  I was saved, I’m being saved, I will be saved, God willing, as I seek the grace of final perseverance to stay true to the One Who is Truth…

60). Covid Communion

     During Covid when the churches were closed and we weren’t able to receive the Sacraments, our parish responded by offering appointments to come to the church singly and receive the Eucharist.  How we missed our daily Mass and the easy access to communion!  What a gift it was for our pastor to make this arrangement to allow us to receive Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament!

     I’m often at church lately when it is empty (one of my favorite times and places 🙂 and the memory of that blessed Encounter always touches my heart.  We had to enter by the front door, one at a time with a designated  appointment. The church was empty and silent; the only person present was our pastor, who sat in the chancel near the tabernacle and awaited each solo arrival.

  

  I arrived at my appointed time and entered the front door.  Before me was the long aisle, with empty pews on both sides – the aisle seemed so long!  The silence was palpable, and my footsteps seemed so loud as I gingerly made my way toward the chancel and the communion rail. It seemed such along way to walk!  Fr Joseph rose from his chair, and awaited me as I knelt down to receive the Blessed Sacrament.  It was a holy moment, with not a breath stirring in the church.  Jesus came to me, from the hands of this holy priest, and I was so aware of the sacredness of this Encounter.  A short pause, and then I exited by the side door as another soul came to receive the Eucharist.

     How grateful I am for this memory, and how I want each reception of the Eucharist to carry the same reverential blessing as my Covid reception! How blessed I am to have an unlocked church where I can come in the quiet of its emptiness and stand there at the entrance, reliving this moment!  

     Lord God, how blessed we are to be able to receive You in the Blessed Sacrament!  Thank you for the creative and generous ways your Church responded to the Covid desert, through the goodness and holiness of your priests!  May I never take the reception of communion for granted, and keep this memory alive in my heart…

59) Lenten Resolution ~ silence

A new season of Lent, another opportunity to draw closer to Jesus, through Mary, to eternity! What resolution might help me on the journey? What came to mind was to commit to posting one “Musing” each week, long overdue. My friend’s weekly postings have been an inspiration and encouragement to do the same, so we’ll start today, and check back in at Easter to see how it went. I believe it will enrich my Lenten season, and hopefully drop a little grace for anyone who might chance to read them :). Here goes for week one:

“Be in the silent heart of Jesus”.   St Mother Terese Couderc.   2/15/24

     The words of St Mother Couderc to Anne Marie Schmidt have been coming to mind for me often lately.  To “be in the silent heart of Jesus.” What does that mean? What does it look like?

     For me, it’s a call to stop “thinking” and just BE with Jesus.  Taking a moment for prayer in the Spirit, and then a few moments of silence, close to His Sacred Heart.  WITHIN His Sacred Heart.  Going to a mental image of a location where I particularly am filled with the sense of wonder and awe at the Beauty of God’s Creation.  For me, this is in the woods Up North, in the Spring when the forget-me-nots are in full bloom and so thick, they look like a lake of brilliant blue in the woods.  Like steams of living water, gently moving with the breeze.

Our Marian Servant community is like the forget-me-nots.  The daisies?  Perhaps the Trinity, with the Saints and our Angels?  We’re all in this together, into eternity.

        How does this relate to “being in the silent heart of Jesus?” I’m reminded of the sacred silence that followed watching the film clip from “Saving Mr Banks.” It touched our hearts, our need for healing, and left us as a group in holy silence – any words spoken would surely have broken this tangible Presence we all felt.  The words from the song, “Mercy is falling, is falling, is falling…Mercy is falling like a sweet spring rain…” embodied the sense we had of God’s Presence, and His healing touch.  I want to spend more time in this precious place.  Not thinking, just Being with the Lord, in silence.     

Father God, help me to spend time with you in the Sacred Heart of Your Son.  In silence, just to BE there with Him.  To listen, to receive, and to bring Your love and mercy to a fearful and hurting world…