Ann Radtke

72) Answered Prayer

Reply to Trust posting

Seems so long ago!

But this is the first space

Open for writing again

I had lost my peace

Caught from another’s anxiety

Both of us concerned

For the one we both love

The Trust poem helped me

Gave me direction

Reminded me of past action

Go to Mary

And of course

She answered

Restored my peace

Trust in You, Lord Jesus

I am not God

How often I need that reminder

You alone can heal hearts

You alone know what’s best

The enemy had been making suggestions

All leading to negative outcomes

I had listened to that voice

Led away from peace

You reminded me of what to do

Helped me be aware of lost peace

Helped identify the source

Re-direct my action

Thank You Lord praise You!

To take note of what happened

Being more sensitive

To interior stirrings

If my mind is more focused

On the problem

Than on You

That’s a big red flag

Time to STOP and Pray!

Over and over

I’m reminded to “act as if”

Do I live what I profess?

Am I consistent with what I believe?

For me the loss of peace

Is a sure sign to stop and pray

To know that all is in Your hands

You’ll let me know if I am to act

So thank You again,

My Lord and my God

I can never be wrong

When I put my trust in You

Bring You my concern

As a broken and sinful person

Living in hope and Joy

Always trusting in Your mercy

71) Trust

Trust

How deep is my trust?

How real is my peace?

How much am I called to do?

Questions

Running through my thoughts

Checking in with You, Lord

To know where you want my mind to be

Concerns

Those I hold in my heart

Especially those most struggling now

What’s my best posture?

Clarity

What does trust look like

On this day and in this time?

Am I called to action?

Am I the boat you’re sending?

Sharing

How much to include others in

Let them know what’s going on

Soliciting their advice

They have experience in this arena

Praying

With other believers

Calling on Your Name, Lord

The Name of Jesus

Savior and Redeemer!

Waiting

For the phone call

For Your assurance

For some sign

To know what’s next

Repetition

I’ve been here before

What did I do then?

Memorarae

Asked Mary’s help

Resolve

That’s what I’ll do now

Place it all in your care, Blessed Mother

With peace in my heart

Indifference

Holy indifference

Knowing that You have this

And will bring forth what is best

Trust

It looks like inner calm

Staying in this moment

Rejoicing in Your care

Thanksgiving

Thank You in advance

Only You are the answer

And always provide the best

Praise

Praise You Lord, thank You

Bless Your Holy Name!

Now and Forever!

In You I place my Trust…

The Church teaches that our priests are “in persona Christi,” in the very person of Christ. This has come home to me in a way that reinforces the reality of God’s personal knowledge and love for little me; He recognizes and knows me!

It’s always a delight when I meet someone I haven’t seen for a while and their face lights up as we recognize each other! It’s obvious that they remember me, and that they’re happy to see me 🙂 (Me too!) Gathering for family celebrations, meeting at conferences, and just bumping into people at the grocery store are all opportunities the Lord provides to bring His children together as family.

The ones that have really spoken to my heart are when a holy priest (or even a bishop!) recognizes little me, and their look conveys a warm welcome. There are so very many people that call for the attention of our pastors, I often marvel that they are able to keep us all straight! As I enter my late 70’s, I’m that much more aware of seeing people that look familiar, and searching my memory files to identify how we’re connected 🙂 When the name and relationship come in to focus, it’s a real gift!

As the Lord has been reminding me again and again, He really knows ME, and He provides circumstances and happy surprises to confirm that in my heart 🙂 I think of going to Mass in a small town far from home, and as I approached the pastor to receive Jesus, he recognized me, and said my name, Ann! He had prepared me for entrance into the Catholic Church 40 years ago, and I hadn’t seem him in a long time. In my spirit, I heard Jesus through this good priest call my name, and smile at me.

I remember a special Bishop remembering my name as we headed on the Quo Vadis boat to Holy Name Retreat House at Chambers Island; we hadn’t seen each other in several years, but he remembered me, and called me by name!

Going to Mass in another small town away from home, there was my spiritual director as the celerbrant – he knows me well, but was surprised to see me there, and his happy and inviting greeting came to me as straight from Jesus; this priest was in persona Christi.

The most recent was at the a very large Mass with the Bishop presiding. My friends, who were ahead of me in the communion line, switched to the Bishop’s line, and I followed them. When he raised the Host, speaking those precious words, “the Body of Christ,” his eyes met mine, and lit up enough for me to know that he too recognized me, remembered me, and that it was a happy memory for him! Again, we hadn’t seen each other in several years, but had some written correspondence that had been a blessing for us both, and had created that bond of friendship that is centered on Christ. Once again I was reminded, “God Himself knows you, He remembers you, and He’s delighted to bless you again with a gift that would be meaningful only to you. He loves YOU!” (ME!!!). My heart sings with gratitude to the Good God Who can never be outdone in His generous love for His little children!

Lord God, how grateful I am for the repeated reminders of Your personal intimate love for me; that You know me, remember me, and delight in surprising me with this gift, offered especially through Your holy priests, “in persona Christi!” May You speak to each of their hearts so personally also, as they bring Your love and mercy to Your children…

69) Eucharistic Revival

When I first heard of the Eucharistic Revival, and the pilgrimages planned across the country, I wanted to be a part of that! My faith journey has led me to a deeper appreciation and awareness of Jesus truly present in the Eucharist, so the idea of walking with Him across the whole USA, with thousands of people participating, brought joy to my heart 🙂

When I heard the procession would be passing through the Shrine of Our Lady of Champion, I knew that was the place I wanted to join in. Having been a volunteer there when it was first declared worthy of belief in 2010, and watching as it’s status continued to grow, it was dear to my heart. Driving there through the farmlands, with little or no traffic, and arriving at this place of peace was always a highlight and blessing! I was already planning a trip to WI for my great-niece’s graduation party, so the timing was perfect!

There would be thousands of people arriving, so an early arrival for me made good sense. The actual program would start at 1:00; I came at 9:00 and was able to get a prime parking spot :), and just spend quiet time on the grounds and in the crypt, the actual site of Mary’s appearance in 1859 to Adele Brice. Lighting a few of the hundreds of candles flickering in the quiet and dimly lit room, I sat in silence and brought to Mary the many intentions on my heart, knowing that she received them and with her tender mercy placed them in the Heart of Jesus. I had come alone, and was blessed to join good friends and share this special day with them!

Throughout the talks offered on the pilgrimage route, the Reality of Christ present in the Eucharist, and present within each Christian believer, resonated again and again. We were reminded of Mary as the first Eucharistic processor, carrying Jesus in her womb as she traveled to meet Elizabeth, and that indeed we too carried Him wherever we went. God entered the human world to dwell within us, to be One with us, and to bring His presence with us wherever we go – to bring His Light and Love to this fearful and hurting world as agents of His Mercy.

The scene that repeated itself for me was a recent visit to an arts fair. The streets were jam packed and narrow between the multiple exhibit booths; we could only walk slowly and it was really difficult for me to actually appreciate the many offerings. I was tired, and counting the steps til we could get back to the car and away from the crowds. Then it occurred to me; I was carrying Christ! I was one of His living tabernacles processing among the multitudes, but they didn’t know it. It brought renewed energy to me though, and put a smile on my face that often was received and returned by the many souls traveling with me. Every Christian is part of a procession carrying Jesus, even when there’s no canopy or incense, no vestments or external trappings. The Procession at the Shrine has magnified that for me, and I thank the Lord for the incredible privilege of being His dwelling place wherever He leads me…

Lord God, thank You For putting the Eucharistic Revival on the hearts of Your people! Thank You for the pilgrimages crossing our country and awakening Hope in the lives of those who participate, and who witness this amazing journey! Thank you that you’ve called and chosen me, one of your littlest children, to be a small part of something so very big and wonderful! I pray that I may be ever mindful that I am carrying Jesus, everywhere I go…

68) Poem – Come Holy Spirit!

Easter season

Extending to Pentecost

Basking in the Resurrection

Waiting for the Spirit

I’ve come back to Galilee

Here at the cabin

In the Upper Room

Gazing out on the Lake

The water’s really high

Wind is picking up

Waves washing on the shoreline

Whitecaps out on the Lake

Come Holy Spirit!

Fill me anew!

Baptize me again

Each and every day

Fresh in filling of Your Spirit

I can’t really Live without it

Your Life within me

Making all things New

National Renewal

Calling for a Nine Year Novena!

Pentecost 2033

Calling every Christian

Pray for Your Mercy

Pray for Your Peace

Only You can save us

From the disorder in our lives

Re-order us to Your Love

Receive It and give It back

To everyone we encounter

All beloved of You

Wind is blowing stronger

Trees bending and waving

Bowing to Your Power

Proclaiming Your Praises!

Thank You Lord, Praise You!

Preparing our hearts

Preparing for Your coming

Today, and every day

Preparing our Nation

Turning hearts back to You

Source of All we long for

Your peace within our hearts

“Acquire interior peace

And many will find salvation

Near you”

St Seraphim of Sarov

Come Holy Spirit

Fill me With Your Peace

How much our broken world needs You

Fill me afresh today!

Peace as prelude to Union

Union with the Holy God

You made us to be one with You

One with Holy Trinity!

67) Self-reliance or Surrender

Self-reliance, or Surrender?

I’m watching my grandchildren as they’re learning how to do things for themselves, growing in confidence as they manage simple tasks like drinking from a cup and using eating utensils. Their achievements are met with encouragement and praise with each new skill mastered. Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, all smile and applaud as the little ones soak in the love that is being showered upon them, helping them to risk trying the next challenge presented. “Good job, Honey!” “Way to go, Buddy!” And as the kids are becoming more and more articulate, we hear “I did it!,” accompanied by a well deserved smile and self-satisfaction.

In the world of faith my focus has become self-surrender, as the Word “without Me, you can do nothing,” (John 15:5) echoes often in my thoughts. I’m wondering how this transition takes place, and thinking it needs to begin right at the start. Helping the little ones know that everything good comes from the Creator, from the Good God Who loves them and gives them the ability to do anything. Knowing that He created us to learn and to grow, to use the gifts He’s given us, and that indeed all is gift from Him. And to know too how pleased He is with their abilities and progress, that He too is cheering them on, and whispering “God job, My beloved daughter!” And “Way to go, beloved child of My Heart!” My own heart desires to hear them respond, “See what God has helped me to do!” And to know in their hearts that He is their constant help, that their accomplishments are pleasing to Him, and that He is always looking at them with love and encouragement.

I recently heard Debbie Herbeck share how she encouraged her daughters, beginning at age 3, to look in the mirror each morning and repeat, “I am a beloved daughter of God.” To teach them right from the start that they have been created by a Good God, Who loves them unconditionally, and will help them do all that they ever need to do, so they may become all they have been created to be.

One of the primary obstacles to union with God is said to be “self-reliance.” How we need to teach the little ones the necessary skills to master as they grow, within the framework of God’s provision. As they grow, to help them to grasp the gift of the Holy Spirit Who enables them to function beyond their natural abilities, and accomplish “exceedingly abundantly beyond all we ask or imagine,” (Eph 3:20), all for the Glory of God!

It seems it goes back to recognizing that they are not doing anything alone, but always with the help of the Good God who loves them. As I’m becoming more aware of my own littleness, of my own nothingness, perhaps this reflection is for me. I’m that little child, weak and helpless, but empowered by the very Holy Spirit Who raised Jesus from the tomb!

“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. (Rom 8:11) Praise God Who calls me to be always God-reliant and not self-reliant!

Lord God, thank you for reminding me of Your ever-present help and strength to do all You ask of me, as I watch our grandchildren learning new skills. May we all know that indeed nothing is possible without You, not even the next breath we take, that we may live in the attitude of gratitude for all that you enable us to do and be, for Your praise and Glory…

66) Spiritual Sketchercises

“Learning to pray is a skill.“ This was one of the first themes I was to pray with as I was being instructed in lectio divina. The theme was accompanied by a grace to seek, and the grace for this theme was “to be a better listener in prayer.” We were taught to beg for a specific grace whenever we pray, and then to pay attention to see how that grace is being answered as we pray with the Scriptures. Foundational to any relationship with God is prayer, as the means of listening for that still small Voice to which we so long to hear and respond.

I was eager to begin this new chapter in relationship with God, so received several Scripture verses from my director, with the instruction to spend an hour with each passage. Then I was to share what I had experienced at our meeting each day of the 5 day directed retreat. One problem persistently arose however; when I pray, I usually close my eyes, and when I close my eyes, within 5 minutes I’m asleep! This has been a pattern for me as long as I can remember, and needless to say was proving to be a challenge to my prayer times. How to stay awake and truly enter in to the conversation with the Lord?

One strategy that seemed to work was to sketch what I was experiencing in my prayer time. I’ve come to think of that as a spiritual sketchercises, especially as I did a lot of that when going through the 36 weeks of the Annotated 19 Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. I didn’t always fall asleep :), by often enough to make the sketching seem productive and helpful for prayer. As I sketched or doodled what was coming to mind, it would often find it’s own life and draw me more deeply into communion with the Lord. I usually followed this with a colloquy, or conversation with one of several Persons of the Trinity, or with Mary, or one of the Saints. I would write to them, and then pause and write down what I felt Their response to me might me, often surprising me with an insight or words that were a blessing to me.

This process has been such a blessing to my growth in prayer, it was suggested that it might help others to share some of the entries from my journals as a sample. Always we recognize that any gifts given to us by the Good God are never just for ourselves alone, but always meant to be freely given. As I’ve come to recognize the gift this has been for me, it’s a delight to share them with you as we seek together to build and strengthen the Kingdom of God in our midst.

65) Resurrection

First Glorious Mystery – the Resurrection

This mystery recalls a time of great sorrow and at the same time great hope – a reliving of the paschal mystery in my life. Our marriage was crumbling after 36 years of what I had thought was a good marriage – how could I be so blind? The soul searching and unraveling of our life together brought painful truth into the light, but with the anguish came a new and deeper relationship with the Lord, and the promise of new life in Him.

As I was trying to process the struggle we were experiencing, I took a few days to go up to our cabin in the North Woods. On the drive, I listened to a tape by Paula D’Arcy, which spoke of her journey to a deeper trust and surrender to the Lord. She related the story of her family’s kitchen table, made of sturdy oak, and always there, like an anchor for the family. She did her homework there, ate there, entertained friends there – it was at the heart of the family life. Then she had a dream, and in the dream the table vanished. When she awoke, she recognized the dream as a call for a deeper surrender and reliance on God alone. The title of the tape was about the second half of the Christian life – the first half has a solid structure, like the table, and the second half calls for the removal of that structure, and total dependence on God. It was a good message for me to hear, and I thanked God for sending me the tape.

When I got to the cabin, I went for a walk back to a little lake in the woods. When I turned a bend approaching the lake, I stopped short. A huge oak tree, which had been there forever, lay broken and fallen on the ground. I had climbed that tree as a child; our four children had each climbed it in their turn; there was even a photo us sitting at its base on my refrigerator at home. I went closer to look, and found that the tree was hollow, just as our marriage seemed to be.

I cried, and then I smiled, recognizing God’s hand and timing. He had prepared my heart on the way north with the tape, and now he was showing me this fallen oak tree. Surely He knew every detail of our lives, and He would be with both of us through this present turbulent journey.

When I got back to the cabin, I opened the Bible and this verse jumped out at me: Isaiah 6:13 “…he will be like the stump of an oak tree that has been cut down. The stump represents a new beginning for God’s people.” The Bible at the cabin was a different translation than my one at home; the wording of this version was a perfect gift from God to me.

It’s been a difficult road, but the image of the oak tree remains with me as a sign of God’s care and hope for the future. God promises new life and resurrection glory; I’m experiencing that more and more as I put all my trust in Him…

Lord God, thank You for preparing my heart and giving me the strength to endure the trials of life. May my trust in You grow stronger each day, that I may be a witness to Your faithfulness and mercy, and experience the power of Your Resurrection ~

(Re-visit from Rosary Reflections, First Glorious Mystery)

64) Surrender Control

63) Scourging at the Pillar

We were at the Dunrovin Retreat Center near St. Paul, with a group of ladies from Transfiguration Parish in Woodbury for an Emmaus Retreat. Part of the retreat includes receiving a drawing that has been artistically created by another Emmaus sister, who has asked the Holy Spirit to inspire her with an image that will speak to the person who receives it with a personal message of God’s intimate love for them.

When all had received their drawings, we were given the opportunity to share how they spoke to us, or if there was some special significance for them. The stories are often so beautiful and amazing, and truly do show that God works through our efforts to bring His love personally to the hearts of each of us.

One of the ladies stood up and showed us the drawing she had received, which had 3 beautiful red fall leaves on it. The Lord had touched her heart, and it was visible to us as she shared her story…

There had been some free time in the afternoon, and some of the ladies had gone outside for a walk. It was early October, and the leaves were just beginning to turn; the weather was cool and overcast, but a good time for quiet reflection and communion with the Lord. We had been assigned prayer partners, and she decided to pray a rosary for her prayer partner while she walked. She chose the sorrowful mysteries, although it was Saturday, and was quietly praying the rosary and meditating on the second sorrowful mystery, the scourging at the pillar, and thinking about the precious blood Jesus had shed for us and the pain he had endured in the scourging. Her heart was moved as she meditated on this mystery, and then she became aware that she was walking through an abundance of bright red leaves on the path, although she couldn’t identify any tree in the area where they might have fallen from. She said she felt like she was walking right through His Blood, and It was covering us all with His protection and anointing. It was a sacred and holy moment for her – she hadn’t mentioned it to anyone else. And then when she received her drawing, there were these 3 bright red leaves…

Thank You Lord, for Your intimate knowledge of each one of us, and for pouring Your Love into our hearts in so many unexpected and personal ways. May we always have eyes open to see and ears open to hear that our hearts may be touched by Your grace and filled afresh with the fire of Your Love ~

Author: Ann Radtke