Author: Ann Radtke

65) Resurrection

First Glorious Mystery – the Resurrection

     This mystery recalls a time of great sorrow and at the same time great hope – a reliving of the paschal mystery in my life.  Our marriage was crumbling after 36 years of what I had thought was a good marriage – how could I be so blind?  The soul searching and unraveling of our life together brought painful truth into the light, but with the anguish came a new and deeper relationship with the Lord, and the promise of new life  in Him.

      As I was trying to process the struggle we were experiencing, I took a few days to go up to our cabin in the North Woods.  On the drive, I listened to a tape by Paula D’Arcy, which spoke of her journey to a deeper trust and surrender to the Lord.  She related the story of her family’s kitchen table, made of sturdy oak, and always there, like an anchor for the family.  She did her homework there, ate there, entertained friends there – it was at the heart of the family life.  Then she had a dream, and in the dream the table vanished.  When she awoke, she recognized the dream as a call for a deeper surrender and reliance on God alone.  The title of the tape was about the second half of the Christian life – the first half has a solid structure, like the table, and the second half calls for the removal of that structure, and total dependence on God. It was a  good message for me to hear, and I thanked God for sending me the tape.

      When I got to the cabin, I went for a walk back to a little lake in the woods.  When I turned a bend approaching the lake, I stopped short.  A huge oak tree, which had been there forever, lay broken and fallen on the ground.  I had climbed that tree as a child; our four children had each climbed it in their turn; there was even a photo us sitting at its base on my refrigerator at home.  I went closer to look, and found that the tree was hollow, just as our marriage seemed to be.

     I cried, and then I smiled, recognizing God’s hand and timing.  He had prepared my heart on the way north with the tape, and now he was showing me this fallen oak tree.  Surely He knew every detail of our lives, and He would be with both of us through this present turbulent journey.

     When I got back to the cabin, I  opened the Bible and this verse jumped out at me: Isaiah 6:13  “…he will be like the stump of an oak tree that has been cut down.  The stump represents a new beginning for God’s people.”  The Bible at the cabin was a different translation than my one at home; the wording of this version was a perfect gift from God to me.

     It’s been a difficult road, but the image of the oak tree remains with me as a sign of God’s care and hope for the future.  God promises new life and resurrection glory; I’m experiencing that more and more as I put all my trust in Him…

     Lord God, thank You for preparing my heart and giving me the strength to endure the trials of life.  May my trust in You grow stronger each day, that I may be a witness to Your faithfulness and mercy, and experience the power of Your Resurrection ~

(Re-visit from Rosary Reflections, First Glorious Mystery)

63) Scourging at the Pillar

     We were at the Dunrovin Retreat Center near St. Paul, with a group of ladies from Transfiguration Parish in Woodbury for an Emmaus Retreat. Part of the retreat includes receiving a drawing that has been artistically created by another Emmaus sister, who has asked the Holy Spirit to inspire her with an image that will speak to the person who receives it with a personal message of God’s intimate love for them. 

      When all had received their drawings, we were given the opportunity to share how they spoke to us, or if there was some special significance for them.  The stories are often so beautiful and amazing, and truly do show that God works through our efforts to bring His love personally to the hearts of each of us.

      One of the ladies stood up and showed us the drawing she had received, which had 3 beautiful red fall leaves on it.  The Lord had touched her heart, and it was visible to us as she shared her story…

    

There had been some free time in the afternoon, and some of the ladies had gone outside for a walk.  It was early October, and the leaves were just beginning to turn; the weather was cool and overcast, but a good time for quiet reflection and communion with  the Lord.  We had been assigned prayer partners, and she decided to pray a rosary for her prayer partner while she walked.  She chose the sorrowful mysteries, although it was Saturday, and was quietly praying the rosary and meditating on the second sorrowful mystery, the scourging at the pillar, and thinking about the precious blood Jesus had shed for us and the pain he had endured in the scourging.  Her heart was moved as she meditated on this mystery, and then she became aware that she was walking through an abundance of bright red leaves on the path, although she couldn’t identify any tree in the area where they might have fallen from.  She said she felt like she was walking right through His Blood, and It was covering us all with His protection and anointing.  It was a sacred and holy moment for her – she hadn’t mentioned it to anyone else.  And then when she received her drawing, there were these 3 bright red leaves…

     Thank You Lord, for Your intimate knowledge of each one of us, and for pouring Your Love into our hearts in so many unexpected and personal ways.  May we always have eyes open to see and ears open to hear that our hearts may be touched by Your grace and filled afresh with the fire of Your Love ~

62) Reconcilation gifting

The opportunity for Reconciliation was always especially meaningful when celebrated at the Cenacle of Our Lady of Divine Providence – it seems that the Lord often would bring up things from the past that were stumbling blocks to grace.

     At one of the sessions, I felt led to confess a sin of the past whose memory often haunted me.  I had confessed it in a general way previously, but now felt the need to be more explicit about the experience.  The priest was very helpful, as he assured me of God’s grace and mercy.  In thanksgiving, I went to the Adoration Chapel to express my gratitude to the Lord.

     As I sat before the tabernacle, the Lord gifted me with a beautiful image. I saw myself sitting on a bench beneath the Cross, with Mary sitting beside me with her arm around my shoulders.  In my lap I held a photo album – in it were pictures of the  situations I had confessed.  Jesus was on the Cross above us, and as we sat there, His precious Blood began to drip down on the photos, and each drop totally erased the pictures, making them white as if a drop of bleach had been put on them.  He was blotting out all those images with His precious Blood, so that I no longer saw them, but only saw a clean white frame, and felt the comfort of His Presence, and that of Our Blessed Mother.  Now whenever the enemy seeks to raise those pictures before my eyes again, all I see is that image of us sitting beneath the Cross, with those drops of precious Blood that make each photo all white.

      The Lord has blessed me several times by changing the way I remember a difficult experience.  Asking Him to show me where He was with me, or what He was doing, have brought forth images that provide healing grace to painful moments in time, and have allowed me to become more free.  What a beautiful way to bring healing, and to set the captives free!

     Lord God, thank You that You are a God outside of Time, Who has been with us throughout our lives and can bring healing and wholeness to all areas of our lives. Thank You for the healing balm of Your precious Blood, to wash away the stain of sin ~ 

(re-visited from Rosary Reflections, Sorrowful mystery, the Crucifixion. In this season of Lent, of Reconciliation, this memory has always blessed me. May it bring a blessing to others who may be unable to let go of images that want to rob us of our peace)

61) Salvation

Salvation

     I recently met a young woman, I’ll call her Beth, who struck me as being so pure and sweet, joyful and with a sense of peace about her.  We were at a conference together, and many of the participants wore anxious expressions, and spoke of the fears and troubles they were dealing with.

Not my new friend; Beth’s words were filled with gratitude and thanksgiving for God’s blessings to her throughout her life.

     Our conversation reminded me of a talk I heard years ago.  The speaker was a young woman named Cary who was making a presentation to a group of other young people who were acquainted with her – the know her background story.  A young man was the co-presenter, and he was the first to speak to the group.  He shared how when he had been immersed in the darkness of addiction and poor choices, of sin, the Lord had come and rescued him.  He had been pulled from the swamp and brought into the Kingdom of Light, and was now helping others to find their lifeline in Jesus.

     Cary spoke next, and to the surprise of the audience, she began by speaking of how God had saved her from drinking, from promiscuity, from many sinful behaviors and activities.  Her audience was taken aback, because this wasn’t the story they thought they knew of her life.  The part that has touched my heart is what she said next; God had saved her from all these before she ever was involved in any of them.  He had kept her from making the poor choices that would have led her down the path she described.

     Being with Beth and listening to her innocence, I recognized that here was another child of God who had been shielded from the negative repercussions of bad choices – she had been saved from them without even realizing it.  

     A recent question in a devotional I’m reading asked the question, “Do I really believe that Jesus is my Savior?”  As I prayed with this, it became apparent that yes, I can see in my own life all the negative things that the Lord saved me from experiencing. He is even now saving me from doubt, from loneliness, from feeling rejected or abandoned.  Those things which I may identify as having been difficult, from which He didn’t “save” me, have been sources of growth in faith and love, for which I am now grateful!  

     We’ve been re-visiting St Therese’s STORY OF A SOUL, where the word “little” resounds thoughout her testimony, shedding  light on her own purity of heart and innocence.  All of this has come together in a beautiful way to fill my heart with gratitude once more, for God’s Goodness to me, and for how He has highlighted it with the stories of Beth, Cary, and St Therese.  I thank God  for the gift of Salvation, brought home to me on so many levels.  

Lord God, thank You for the gift of Salvation!  Poured out on me from the moment of my conception, and as the promise of life eternal with You.  I was saved, I’m being saved, I will be saved, God willing, as I seek the grace of final perseverance to stay true to the One Who is Truth…

60). Covid Communion

     During Covid when the churches were closed and we weren’t able to receive the Sacraments, our parish responded by offering appointments to come to the church singly and receive the Eucharist.  How we missed our daily Mass and the easy access to communion!  What a gift it was for our pastor to make this arrangement to allow us to receive Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament!

     I’m often at church lately when it is empty (one of my favorite times and places 🙂 and the memory of that blessed Encounter always touches my heart.  We had to enter by the front door, one at a time with a designated  appointment. The church was empty and silent; the only person present was our pastor, who sat in the chancel near the tabernacle and awaited each solo arrival.

  

  I arrived at my appointed time and entered the front door.  Before me was the long aisle, with empty pews on both sides – the aisle seemed so long!  The silence was palpable, and my footsteps seemed so loud as I gingerly made my way toward the chancel and the communion rail. It seemed such along way to walk!  Fr Joseph rose from his chair, and awaited me as I knelt down to receive the Blessed Sacrament.  It was a holy moment, with not a breath stirring in the church.  Jesus came to me, from the hands of this holy priest, and I was so aware of the sacredness of this Encounter.  A short pause, and then I exited by the side door as another soul came to receive the Eucharist.

     How grateful I am for this memory, and how I want each reception of the Eucharist to carry the same reverential blessing as my Covid reception! How blessed I am to have an unlocked church where I can come in the quiet of its emptiness and stand there at the entrance, reliving this moment!  

     Lord God, how blessed we are to be able to receive You in the Blessed Sacrament!  Thank you for the creative and generous ways your Church responded to the Covid desert, through the goodness and holiness of your priests!  May I never take the reception of communion for granted, and keep this memory alive in my heart…

59) Lenten Resolution ~ silence

A new season of Lent, another opportunity to draw closer to Jesus, through Mary, to eternity! What resolution might help me on the journey? What came to mind was to commit to posting one “Musing” each week, long overdue. My friend’s weekly postings have been an inspiration and encouragement to do the same, so we’ll start today, and check back in at Easter to see how it went. I believe it will enrich my Lenten season, and hopefully drop a little grace for anyone who might chance to read them :). Here goes for week one:

“Be in the silent heart of Jesus”.   St Mother Terese Couderc.   2/15/24

     The words of St Mother Couderc to Anne Marie Schmidt have been coming to mind for me often lately.  To “be in the silent heart of Jesus.” What does that mean? What does it look like?

     For me, it’s a call to stop “thinking” and just BE with Jesus.  Taking a moment for prayer in the Spirit, and then a few moments of silence, close to His Sacred Heart.  WITHIN His Sacred Heart.  Going to a mental image of a location where I particularly am filled with the sense of wonder and awe at the Beauty of God’s Creation.  For me, this is in the woods Up North, in the Spring when the forget-me-nots are in full bloom and so thick, they look like a lake of brilliant blue in the woods.  Like steams of living water, gently moving with the breeze.

Our Marian Servant community is like the forget-me-nots.  The daisies?  Perhaps the Trinity, with the Saints and our Angels?  We’re all in this together, into eternity.

        How does this relate to “being in the silent heart of Jesus?” I’m reminded of the sacred silence that followed watching the film clip from “Saving Mr Banks.” It touched our hearts, our need for healing, and left us as a group in holy silence – any words spoken would surely have broken this tangible Presence we all felt.  The words from the song, “Mercy is falling, is falling, is falling…Mercy is falling like a sweet spring rain…” embodied the sense we had of God’s Presence, and His healing touch.  I want to spend more time in this precious place.  Not thinking, just Being with the Lord, in silence.     

Father God, help me to spend time with you in the Sacred Heart of Your Son.  In silence, just to BE there with Him.  To listen, to receive, and to bring Your love and mercy to a fearful and hurting world…

58) Visio Divina with Mary in Advent

Visio Divina with Mary

     Visio Divina is a complement to Lectio Divina, spending time with an image in the company of the Holy Spirit, and allowing Him to speak to my heart through the image.  A recent prayer opportunity has been a precious blessing to me in this second week of Advent.  

     

I spent several minutes focused on the image below, allowing my eyes to travel around the parts of the picture and be drawn to particular portions of it.  It’s a unique experience, as the Lord evokes particular thoughts and memories perfectly suited for each individual engaging in this prayer.  I did it with a group, and was blessed as each person shared what part of the image stood out for them, what particular word or Scripture came to their mind, and what they felt the Lord was revealing to them.

     My eyes were drawn to the center of the picture, where the bright Light was shielded by Mary’s hand.  It brought to my mind the word GLORY! And the Scripture, “All of us, gazing with unveiled face on the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, as from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (NASB 2 Cor 3:18) I thought of Christ’s resurrection Glory, of the moment when His dead human body was transformed as by a huge cosmic explosion into His glorified Body, producing a tremendous burst of Light and Power!  This was the image that was miraculously imprinted on the Shroud of Turin, and the image that is imprinted on my own soul, and on the soul of every baptized Christian.  The image that is sacred, is holy, and is to be respected and reverenced.

     I noticed how gently Mary held her hands, shielding and cradling the Light.  They seemed so tender, so very fragile yet strong.  There seemed to be a group of holy souls in the lower corners of the picture, the cloud of witnesses, adoring and marveling at the glowing and growing Light about to be born into the world.  

     I was blessed too to hear what the Lord was revealing to other group members.  Other words received were Grace, Peace, Purity, Longing, Contentment, Receptive, Focused, Caressing, a Love beyond all telling.  

The Lord was pouring out His grace on us as we prayed together in silence, and then shared the fruit of this sacred time together.

     You are invited by Jesus to spend time during Advent to be with His Mother, to prayerfully focus on an image or passage of Scripture of your choosing, and to receive His Love in preparation for the celebration of His birth.  May it be a time of blessing for you, drawing you more deeply into His Sacred Heart, through the Heart of the Blessed Mother, and into the Heart of the Father. 

Lord God, thank you for the the gifts of words and images, created in cooperation with Your grace, that help us to receive and share Your tremendous Love.  Grant us the desire and space to enter in to this sacred time with You, and more fully experience the Joy of Christmas!

57) Runaway Truck Ramp

Runaway truck ramp

     STOP the truck!

          STOP my running

     Come to a halt 

Too much going on

     No time to reflect

          No time to be still

     Too much. Too much

Less is better

      Time to savor the graces 

            STOP and take stock

      Note where I’m headed

Have I gotten off track?

      Did I make a wrong turn?

            Are my brakes failing?

      What’s going on here?

Have I taken the bait?

      My will, not Yours?

            No time for listening

      Just running ahead

Lord Jesus, help me

      Slow down the pace

             Follow, not lead

      Stay on the path

Tell tale clues

      Hard to stay focused

            Missing connections

      Things fall through the cracks

Losing my peace

     Inner disturbance

            Unsettled feeling

    O Lord, how I need You!

STOP and re-group

      Return to Your Presence

           Open the Word

      Receive Your mercy

May this new day

      Be no more, no less

           No sooner, no later

      Than what You desire

Stay on that ramp

      Til the peace returns

            Then slowly back up

      Start over again

Head back down the hill

      Not a runaway now

            Measured pace

      In tune with Your steps

Follow in Your footsteps

      Stay close to You

             Pause often to listen

      And wait for Your guidance

I need You, O I need You

      Every hour I need You

            Every moment

      Every day

Thank You Lord praise You

      You restore my soul

            Hold me close Lord

      Never let me go

Thank You for that ramp

      A place to re-group

           To regain my bearings

     Inner peace that gives birth to Joy…

56). “He restores my soul” Ps 23

“He leads me 

     beside the still waters

          He restores my soul”

     He restores my soul

I’m here in the North Woods

     beside a little lake

          Nestled in a pristine bog

     Soft and spongey moss

Cotton ball spires

     atop spindly stems

          Dancing in the breezes

     Singing a song of praise

Praise to the Creator

     Praise to all Goodness 

          Praise to sun pennies

     sparkling on water ripples

Praise to bright red cranberries

     ready for harvest

           In time for Thanksgiving

     Time of Gratitude

“What shall I render to the Lord

     for all His bounty to me?

          I will raise the cup of salvation

     and call on the Name of the Lord

I will pay my vows to the Lord

     in the presence of all His people…

          I will offer to You the sacrifice 

    of Thanksgiving

         and call on the Name of the Lord”

How shall I call on Your Name, O My God?

     By living aware of Your Presence

           By writing of Your Goodness

     By pleading for Your mercy

Mercy on this broken world

     So many deprived of this beauty

          Caught in the snares of death

     Trapped in the inhumanity of man

May my heart filled with this Beauty

      be a channel of grace to others

           However that may unfold

      One soul at a time

One candle can bring Light

      If only it stays aflame

            Stays connected to the Source

      Unlimited supply of Life

Thank You Lord praise You

       You don’t bless me just for me

            It’s meant to be shared

       Show me Lord, when and where 

May I stay connected

       Through Your Word

            And Sacraments

       Especially through prayer

To be a reservoir

       Like the little lake

            Brimming with life

       in the midst of a bog

I’ll return here often

      In the quiet of my mind

          Sweet hour of prayer

      Singing a Love Song

           of Your Mercy for the world

Ps 23:2b,3a

Ps 116:12-14; 17