68) Poem – Come Holy Spirit!

Easter season

     Extending to Pentecost

          Basking in the Resurrection

     Waiting for the Spirit

I’ve come back to Galilee

     Here at the cabin

          In the Upper Room

     Gazing out on the Lake

The water’s really high

     Wind is picking up

          Waves washing on the shoreline

     Whitecaps out on the Lake

Come Holy Spirit!

      Fill me anew!

           Baptize me again

      Each and every day

Fresh in filling of Your Spirit

      I can’t really Live without it

           Your Life within me

      Making all things New

National Renewal

     Calling for a Nine Year Novena!

           Pentecost 2033

     Calling every  Christian

Pray for Your Mercy

     Pray for Your Peace

           Only You can save us

     From the disorder in our lives

Re-order us to Your Love

     Receive It and give It back

          To everyone we encounter

     All beloved of You

Wind is blowing stronger

     Trees bending and waving

          Bowing to Your Power

     Proclaiming Your Praises!

Thank You Lord, Praise You!

     Preparing our hearts

          Preparing for Your coming

     Today, and every day

Preparing our Nation

     Turning hearts back to You

          Source of All we long for

     Your peace within our hearts

“Acquire interior peace

      And many will find salvation

           Near you” 

      St Seraphim of Sarov

Come Holy Spirit

     Fill me With Your Peace

          How much our broken world needs You

     Fill me afresh today!

Peace as prelude to Union

     Union with the Holy God

           You made us to be one with You

     One with Holy Trinity!

67) Self-reliance or Surrender

Self-reliance, or Surrender?

     I’m watching my grandchildren as they’re learning how to do things for themselves, growing in confidence as they manage simple tasks like drinking from a cup and using eating utensils.  Their achievements are met with encouragement and praise with each new skill mastered.  Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, all smile and applaud as the little ones soak in the love that is being showered upon them, helping them to risk trying the next challenge presented.  “Good job, Honey!”  “Way to go, Buddy!”  And as the kids are becoming more and more articulate, we hear “I did it!,” accompanied by a well deserved smile and self-satisfaction.

     In the world of faith my focus has become self-surrender, as the Word “without Me, you can do nothing,” (John 15:5)  echoes often in my thoughts.  I’m wondering how this transition takes place, and thinking it needs to begin right at the start.  Helping the little ones know that everything good comes from the Creator, from the Good God Who loves them and gives them the ability to do anything.  Knowing that He created us to learn and to grow, to use the gifts He’s given us, and that indeed all is gift from Him.  And to know too how pleased He is with their abilities and progress, that He too is cheering them on, and whispering “God job, My beloved daughter!” And “Way to go, beloved child of My Heart!”  My own heart desires to hear them respond, “See what God has helped me to do!”  And to know in their hearts that He is their constant help, that their accomplishments are pleasing to Him, and that He is always looking at them with love and encouragement.

     I recently heard Debbie Herbeck share how she encouraged her daughters, beginning at age 3, to look in the mirror each morning and repeat, “I am a beloved daughter of God.”  To teach them right from the start that they have been created by a Good God, Who loves them unconditionally, and will help them do all that they ever need to do, so they may become all they have been created to be.

     One of the primary obstacles to union with God is said to be “self-reliance.”  How we need to teach the little ones the necessary skills to master as they grow, within the framework of God’s provision.  As they grow, to help them to grasp the gift of the Holy Spirit Who enables them to function beyond their natural abilities, and accomplish “exceedingly abundantly beyond all we ask or imagine,” (Eph 3:20), all for the Glory of God!

     It seems it goes back to recognizing that they are not doing anything alone, but always with the help of the Good God who loves them.  As I’m becoming more aware of my own littleness, of my own nothingness, perhaps this reflection is for me.  I’m that little child, weak and helpless, but empowered by the very Holy Spirit Who raised Jesus from the tomb!

“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. (Rom 8:11)  Praise God  Who calls me to be always God-reliant and not self-reliant!  

     Lord God, thank you for reminding me of Your ever-present help and strength to do all You ask of me, as I watch our grandchildren learning new skills.  May we all know that indeed nothing is possible without You, not even the next breath we take, that we may live in the attitude of gratitude for all that you enable us to do and be, for Your praise and Glory…  

66) Spiritual Sketchercises

“Learning to pray is a skill.“ This was one of the first themes I was to pray with as I was being instructed in lectio divina. The theme was accompanied by a grace to seek, and the grace for this theme was “to be a better listener in prayer.” We were taught to beg for a specific grace whenever we pray, and then to pay attention to see how that grace is being answered as we pray with the Scriptures. Foundational to any relationship with God is prayer, as the means of listening for that still small Voice to which we so long to hear and respond. 

     I was eager to begin this new chapter in relationship with God, so received several Scripture verses from my director, with the instruction to spend an hour with each passage. Then I was to share what I had experienced at our meeting each day of the 5 day directed retreat. One problem persistently arose however; when I pray, I usually close my eyes, and when I close my eyes, within 5 minutes I’m asleep! This has been a pattern for me as long as I can remember, and needless to say was proving to be a challenge to my prayer times. How to stay awake and truly enter in to the conversation with the Lord? 

     One strategy that seemed to work was to sketch what I was experiencing in my prayer time. I’ve come to think of that as a spiritual sketchercises, especially as I did a lot of that when going through the 36 weeks of the Annotated 19 Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. I didn’t always fall asleep :), by often enough to make the sketching seem productive and helpful for prayer. As I sketched or doodled what was coming to mind, it would often find it’s own life and draw me more deeply into communion with the Lord. I usually followed this with a colloquy, or conversation with one of several Persons of the Trinity, or with Mary, or one of the Saints. I would write to them, and then pause and write down what I felt Their response to me might me, often surprising me with an insight or words that were a blessing to me. 

     This process has been such a blessing to my growth in prayer, it was suggested that it might help others to share some of the entries from my journals as a sample. Always we recognize that any gifts given to us by the Good God are never just for ourselves alone, but always meant to be freely given. As I’ve come to recognize the gift this has been for me, it’s a delight to share them with you as we seek together to build and strengthen the Kingdom of God in our midst. 

65) Resurrection

First Glorious Mystery – the Resurrection

     This mystery recalls a time of great sorrow and at the same time great hope – a reliving of the paschal mystery in my life.  Our marriage was crumbling after 36 years of what I had thought was a good marriage – how could I be so blind?  The soul searching and unraveling of our life together brought painful truth into the light, but with the anguish came a new and deeper relationship with the Lord, and the promise of new life  in Him.

      As I was trying to process the struggle we were experiencing, I took a few days to go up to our cabin in the North Woods.  On the drive, I listened to a tape by Paula D’Arcy, which spoke of her journey to a deeper trust and surrender to the Lord.  She related the story of her family’s kitchen table, made of sturdy oak, and always there, like an anchor for the family.  She did her homework there, ate there, entertained friends there – it was at the heart of the family life.  Then she had a dream, and in the dream the table vanished.  When she awoke, she recognized the dream as a call for a deeper surrender and reliance on God alone.  The title of the tape was about the second half of the Christian life – the first half has a solid structure, like the table, and the second half calls for the removal of that structure, and total dependence on God. It was a  good message for me to hear, and I thanked God for sending me the tape.

      When I got to the cabin, I went for a walk back to a little lake in the woods.  When I turned a bend approaching the lake, I stopped short.  A huge oak tree, which had been there forever, lay broken and fallen on the ground.  I had climbed that tree as a child; our four children had each climbed it in their turn; there was even a photo us sitting at its base on my refrigerator at home.  I went closer to look, and found that the tree was hollow, just as our marriage seemed to be.

     I cried, and then I smiled, recognizing God’s hand and timing.  He had prepared my heart on the way north with the tape, and now he was showing me this fallen oak tree.  Surely He knew every detail of our lives, and He would be with both of us through this present turbulent journey.

     When I got back to the cabin, I  opened the Bible and this verse jumped out at me: Isaiah 6:13  “…he will be like the stump of an oak tree that has been cut down.  The stump represents a new beginning for God’s people.”  The Bible at the cabin was a different translation than my one at home; the wording of this version was a perfect gift from God to me.

     It’s been a difficult road, but the image of the oak tree remains with me as a sign of God’s care and hope for the future.  God promises new life and resurrection glory; I’m experiencing that more and more as I put all my trust in Him…

     Lord God, thank You for preparing my heart and giving me the strength to endure the trials of life.  May my trust in You grow stronger each day, that I may be a witness to Your faithfulness and mercy, and experience the power of Your Resurrection ~

(Re-visit from Rosary Reflections, First Glorious Mystery)