Tag: prayer

95) Antidote to Desolation

Our spiritual journey is often a roller coaster ride, with the highs and lows of consolation and desolation. Consolation draws us deeper into the love of God, and desolation leads us farther away from Him. St Ignatius teaches us that this is normal, and offers ways to regain our peace in his Rules for Discernment of Spirits.

When meeting with directees who are experiencing desolation in their spiritual journey, we hear thoughts of self-pity, isolation, confusion and general discouragement, all tools of the enemy to lead them away from God. What can we do to combat these lies? How can we regain that inner peace we so desire, and live in the victory Christ has won for us? God doesn’t leave us without resources, and one of those is the practice of praise! How does that play out in our daily walk? There are three simple steps that can lead us out from the shadows into His Light once again.


First, and always, we need to have our spiritual radar on to be aware whenever our inner peace is disturbed. St John of the Cross states, “Strive to preserve your heart in peace; let no event of this world disturb it.” We become aware of that inner disturbance, which is the source of our desolation.


Step two can be reaching into our arsenal for a good tool to access. Rule Six of the Discernment of Spirits notes several weapons to have in that arsenal (prayer, meditation, much examination, and by giving ourselves more scope in some suitable way of doing penance). The one we’re focusing on today would fall into the prayer category, as praise is a foundational element of prayer.


The third part, which will begin the process of moving from desolation and returning to consolation, is to put this into practice! “God inhabits the praises of His people,” (Ps 22:3), and where the Good God is, the enemy flees! We can go to favorite Praise Scriptures, or to multiply the grace, we can sing them! He who sings, prays twice!


I’m reminded of my Mom’s response when things got too overwhelming in caring for Dad with his Alzheimer’s. She would go into the bathroom, shut the door, and sing the Doxolgy loud and clear! “Praise God from Whom all Blessings flow, praise Him all creatures here below! Praise Him above Ye Heavenly Host, praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!” This would renew her inner strength, and give her the grace to carry on with whatever needed to be done, knowing she was not alone, but rather accompanied by the Good God Who had been faithful to her all her life, even as she had been a faithful Christian all her life!


There are so many beautiful praise and worship songs available at our fingertips. A holy priest friend once advised me, when I was relating a tale of woe about being under dire circumstances, “what are you doing under the circumstances? Get out of there!” Look up, sing praise to God, and allow Him to restore your peace.

Thank You Lord, for reminding me of Truth when I come to You for help. Reminding me to praise You in all circumstances, for Your Word tells me that You inhabit our praises, and where You are, evil cannot endure! May I always come to You quickly, in haste like Mary, and not linger in desolation. Jesus, I trust in You!

92) A Priest’s Meditation on the Passion

As a member of the Seven Sisters’ Apostolate, I have the privilege of spending one Holy Hour each week in prayer for a particular priest. The demands of the priesthood are many, and the blessings that flow through his ministry are invaluable to the life of the faithful, and to those who do not yet know Christ. How blessed their ministry is to have inspired one woman to offer a Holy Hour for the priest who has been a blessing to her life! This one Hour was the foundation for the Seven Sisters’ Apostolate, which has now expanded exponentially to all 50 States in the US, and beyond! When the Holy Spirit offers an inspiration, and the recipient has listened, heard and responds, the results are no less than miraculous! And of course, the blessings flow not only to the priest, but through him to his flock, through them to their extended relationships, and to the Sister who is praying. Another example of the ripples of grace that flow from prayer 🙂

I’ve always stopped to reflect when I read in the Scriptures, “they saw the grace of God.” What does that look like? How can I tell? My Seven Sister membership brought me to a moment when I saw and experienced God’s grace at work. I’m a sub for a group that prays for a very holy and wise retired priest, now 97 and in an assisted living facility. He is sharp and filled with wisdom, a man of great intellect and compassion. Six of us joined him for Mass and then a time of fellowship before his lunch hour. His walk is slow and deliberate, using a walker for stability. With the dignified manners and respect of his generation, and of his own character, he greeted us all and expressed his gratitude for our gathering, and for our prayers. He said that as he was no longer giving homilies, he wanted to continue to share from his treasure house of years of prayer and study, and so began to write poems. The one I heard this day is a meditation on Christ’s Passion, which will remain with me and has deepened my own appreciation of what the Lord has done for me.

In a voice deep and sonorous, at a pace that is slow and thoughtful, he read us his poem. His pauses, inflections, and obvious feeling for the words he had written created an atmosphere of holiness, in complete listening silence. The very many years of his personal contemplation of the Passion of Christ were skillfully woven into a beautiful tapestry, which we were so blessed to receive. It was an intimate prayerful gathering, and indeed, it was here that I “saw the grace of God.”

He began with the repetition of one word, “Pain.” Hearing him speak this word, and seeing his face as he spoke it, revealed the depth of his understanding of Christ’s suffering. He wrote of the wound that hurt Christ the most, in His shoulder from the carrying of the Cross. I’m reminded of the prayers of St Bridget of Sweden, where she also remarks on this particular pain, and how much sorrow it caused our Lord to know that despite all His sacrifice, there would be many who would turn away. The final words of this extended meditation came to the Resurrection, and to His invitation to us as Friend, to stand on His right beside Him.

How grateful I am to be called to pray for this holy priest of God, and to have been a recipient of His recitation. May God continue to bless his days, until he goes to meet His Savior, his Friend, face to face.

Father God, thank you for the gift of the holy priesthood! Thank you for raising up the Seven Sisters Apostolate to offer holy hours for Your priests.
Thank you for calling each of us to appreciate and pray for them, to enter into Christian Friendship with You and with one another…

86) Sweet Hour of Prayer

How often the lyrics of a song come to mind with just the right words to bring hope and comfort when I need them! Or they may be words of peace and joy, of playfulness or mercy – not pre-meditated, but erupting spontaneously from the files in my memory bank. Many of them are hymns learned through the years, sprinkled among popular or folk music, contemporary praise and worship – so many blessed words!

What comes to mind today is a memory of a time of difficulty, many years ago, yet it remains so clear in my mind. The specific occasion of the trial eludes me, all I remember is driving aimlessly out in the country, fighting back tears and a deep sorrow from a relationship difficulty. In Ignatian terms, this would be a non-spiritual desolation, which could lead either to spiritual consolation, or spiritual desolation. Because the words of a hymn came to mind, the grace of spiritual consolation was given to prompt me to turn to God and receive His help to weather this current inner turbulence. The hymn is “Sweet Hour of Prayer,” written in 1845 by William Walford.

Sweet hour of prayer! Sweet hour of prayer!
That calls me from a world of care,
And bids me at my Father’s throne
Make all my wants and wishes known.
In seasons of distress and grief,
My soul has often found relief,
And oft escaped the tempter’s snare,
By thy return, sweet hour of prayer!

How often I need the reminder of the graces that come from the consistent practice of a daily hour of prayer! Prayer that is grounded in Scripture, where the living Word of God has the power to transform and re-align my clouded vision to conform to God’s perspective in any situation! As I heard the words of the hymn in my mind, and struggled to sing them through my tears, His holy peace began to filter back into my spirit, and I regained His perspective on the current time of distress. He knew, He was with me, and He would help me through this!

Sweet hour of prayer! Sweet hour of prayer!
Thy wings shall my petition bear
To Him whose truth and faithfulness
Engage the waiting heart to bless.
And since He bids me seek His face,
Believe His Word and trust His grace,
I’ll cast on Him my every care,
And wait for thee, sweet hour of prayer!

Even as I remember this moment from many years ago, it becomes present to me now to remind me of the gift of prayer, and to strengthen the peace that God has put in my heart. He bids me seek His face, believe His Word, and trust His grace! “Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you,” is His Word from 1 Peter 5:7. With Your songs in my heart, may I keep singing now and into eternity!

Thank You Lord, for inspiring men and women through the ages to put the truths of Your Word to music! Thank you for their transforming power to change the spiritual atmosphere and restore Your peace where there is anxiety and discord. May I not neglect daily time in Your Word to honor You and to receive Your grace to live a life of blessing for others…

82) Candles

      I’m here on retreat at Christ the King Retreat House watching the candles burning in the chapel.  So many candles, so many prayers being lifted up to the Lord!  Each one representing someone’s need, or thanksgiving – each one seen and the prayer heard by the Lord.  I believe He sees each person as they consider lighting that candle; He knows what’s on their heart, He knows the faith that is calling them to light a candle, and He’s ready ahead of time to answer that prayer – always in His perfect timing, and in His perfect provision.  Not always in the way the candle lighter envisions it, but always in the way that is best for the intention.  I thank God that He’s given me the faith to believe that, for I’ve lighted many candles in my life, and to know in my heart that each one was seen and received by the Lord is a great consolation to me.

      Being raised Protestant, the candle lighting had not been a part of our family’s religious practices.  I first became really aware of it when Bill and I made our first retreat at Holy Name Retreat House on Chambers Island.  It was a spiritual turning point in our lives, and re-set our course to a more serious look at our faith and how we practiced it.  We were facing bankruptcy and all that entails, and were so deeply blessed to hear the wise counsel of the retreat director, Fr Leon, advising Bill to let it go, as the loss of the business was killing all of us.  Bill received this counsel, and the beginning of peace in his heart which he needed to begin again.

      We were in the chapel of the retreat house, looking at all those candles burning, and we lit one – both in gratitude for this holy encounter, and in supplication for God’s help moving forward.  And we took a candle home with us, to light when we felt called to come to the Lord for help.

     That was when we lit it at first – just when something special was calling for prayer.  It might be a birthday celebration, or a need for healing, or safe travel, or….  As time went on, we lit it more and more, until it became a perpetual light near our little Mary space, with a statue of the Blessed Mother and a flower in her honor.  This holy practice has become a part of my devotional life ever since, and it’s been 45 years since we lit that first candle.  

     When I go to the cabin, I light the candle on the fireplace and keep it burning til we go home, asking God to bless our family time there.  Prayers for safety, for the healing of any strained relationships, for traveling mercies, for any family member in most need of help, in thanksgiving for Gma & Gpa Fellman who made the place possible!  So many petitions lifted up to the Lord, and He hears each one!

     At home now in my office room, the candle is lit when I get up in the morning, and I usually blow it out at night, to make the candles last longer.  The Lord knows that the candle is lit in my heart 24/7, with the flame of love from the Holy Spirit keeping me warm and connected to God’s burning love for His people.  I thank God for the gift of candle light, and for the greater gift of “His Light shining in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:5). And it never will!

     Lord God, thank you for sending Your Son Jesus as the Light of the world!  Thank you for the gift of candles, the little lights we can ignite to remind us of Your great love and provision in the ups and downs of our lives.  May we always keep a candle lit in our hearts, trusting in Your perfect care and mercy for us and for all we hold in our hearts…

80) Praying for the Dead

November is a month dedicated to prayer for the dead, with visits to a cemetery on my “to do” list.  I’m grateful for the wisdom of the Church to teach me about this, with the reality of communion with the holy souls awaiting our prayers to speed them on the way to purification and union with the Trinity.  Knowing that they in turn are praying for us, for me, is a source of comfort and deep gratitude as I acknowledge the truth of the communion of the saints!  The veil is often so very thin, and I’m especially aware of this amidst the gravestones.

     I’ve always loved cemeteries!  This was especially true during the covid isolation days.  We couldn’t congregate indoors, and the parks and public spots available for social distancing were often crowded.  I desired more space, and found the cemeteries to be the perfect answer – quiet, few people around, and the awareness of being on holy ground with the saints 🙂  I’ll stop and read some of the epithets, wondering what their life on earth was like, and what it’s like to be united now with those who have gone before them.  Homecoming celebrations in Heaven are the best kind!

     Again and again I’ve been reminded of the great value of “remembering death,” memento mori.  This last week our Marian Servant community was blessed with a Day of Reflection led by Fr Daniel Klimek, who confirmed this beautifully as he spoke of the value of meditating on Christ’s Passion, uniting our sufferings with His on the Cross. This leads so naturally to the reality of our own death, and desiring the help of the saints to live this life well and so be united with Christ in Eternity.

     I’m headed out soon to pray in the cemetery at our parish church, and   one day this week I’ll join a friend to pray by her husband’s grave.  Mentally I’ll spend some time visiting the family graves back in my hometown, praying for the repose of their souls, and seeking their intercession for family and friends who don’t yet know the Lord, His Love and care for them.  

    Lord God, may I be ever mindful of the shortness of this earthly life, grateful for this gift of life, especially eternal life with You!  May my prayers help to speed holy souls on their journey to you, even as they offer prayers for us here and now.   “Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon them.  May their souls and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.  Amen.”

78) Stay Home

At the National Eucharistic Congress, I was blessed with an image of the Lord Jesus, sitting in the armchair in my bedroom and waiting there for me at home.  Home – the place where I’m with Jesus; safe, comforted, protected, at peace :). I saw myself as a little girl, entering the room, coming to sit on His lap, and He wrapped us up in the afghan that had been crocheted by my mom, with a prayer for each stitch.  What a precious place to be, warm and cozy, snuggled close to His Heart! 

     Sharing this image and story with my spiritual director, I mentioned that a word that has been reappearing in my journals has been, “Stay Home!”  The temptation to run off to various spiritual opportunities has not always been in balance with my duties and responsibilities as a wife and mother. I’ve been seeking to come to the right equilibrium as this word continues to show up!

     As our session continued, more thoughts of Home began coming to mind, in different variations.  I’ve moved a fair amount in the last ten years, as I’ve cared for my Mom in her last years, experienced divorce, and moved from our house to a house of my own, then to a small apartment, a more permanent apartment, and now to two bedrooms in my daughter’s house.  In the process of these later moves I’ve recognized that Home for me is being close to a Tabernacle, where Jesus is always present and waiting for me.

     The last several moves brought me to a new geographical place, away from friends and Church community I had known for more than 40 years.  These moves have brought me to two new faith communities, starting all over again in meeting fellow parishioners.  Yet this sense of Home, always having an Adoration chapel and daily Mass as an anchor have made the transitions quite smooth.  I’ve been so grateful for the generous hospitality offered in these parishes to newcomers like me.   

     The Girl Scout song I learned years ago comes to mind here: “Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, but the other Gold.”  The Gold is my friendship with Jesus, and to be with Him is always a coming Home.

     Today I’m at our family cabin the the North Woods, a place that has always been Home for me.  My parents bought it in 1946, when I was just one year old, and it’s been the place of family connecting and a stable peaceful retreat location as I’ve made all the many geographical moves in my lifetime.  From city to city, state to state, house to apartment, this spot has always been there, always a coming Home destination. 

      As I sit here at the family table, I see the names of our family members which had been etched on the chairs around the table.  I’m surrounded by the communion of saints, praying for me and calling me to join them in the eternal Home, in Heaven!   

     Another level of Home began to surface in reflection, that being the reality that Home is in my very own heart, where Jesus resides always.  In the wake of the Congress, with the Eucharistic Pilgrimages, I came to recognize that each one of us is actually a Eucharistic Procession, as we carry Jesus with us wherever we go!  I can envision Christians around the world, each with the Light of Christ within them, radiating that Light and bringing it’s Glow into the darkness of this suffering world.

     “Home is where the Heart is,” is a saying that’s often been shared.  If indeed Jesus lives in my heart, as His Word proclaims, I’m always at Home, no matter the time or location. I can indeed stay home, for Home is in my Heart! May I continue to live in that awareness of Jesus in my heart, to “stay Home” through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and Home to the Heart of the Father in Heaven!

     Lord God, thank you for all the images and remembrances of Home.  Thank You for connecting the dots between Home and Heart, between Home here and Home in Heaven.  Thank you for calling us to live in communion with Your Heart, present within us, and to bring the Love of Your Heart to all we meet, to stay in the intimacy of Home with You… 

62) Reconcilation gifting

The opportunity for Reconciliation was always especially meaningful when celebrated at the Cenacle of Our Lady of Divine Providence – it seems that the Lord often would bring up things from the past that were stumbling blocks to grace.

     At one of the sessions, I felt led to confess a sin of the past whose memory often haunted me.  I had confessed it in a general way previously, but now felt the need to be more explicit about the experience.  The priest was very helpful, as he assured me of God’s grace and mercy.  In thanksgiving, I went to the Adoration Chapel to express my gratitude to the Lord.

     As I sat before the tabernacle, the Lord gifted me with a beautiful image. I saw myself sitting on a bench beneath the Cross, with Mary sitting beside me with her arm around my shoulders.  In my lap I held a photo album – in it were pictures of the  situations I had confessed.  Jesus was on the Cross above us, and as we sat there, His precious Blood began to drip down on the photos, and each drop totally erased the pictures, making them white as if a drop of bleach had been put on them.  He was blotting out all those images with His precious Blood, so that I no longer saw them, but only saw a clean white frame, and felt the comfort of His Presence, and that of Our Blessed Mother.  Now whenever the enemy seeks to raise those pictures before my eyes again, all I see is that image of us sitting beneath the Cross, with those drops of precious Blood that make each photo all white.

      The Lord has blessed me several times by changing the way I remember a difficult experience.  Asking Him to show me where He was with me, or what He was doing, have brought forth images that provide healing grace to painful moments in time, and have allowed me to become more free.  What a beautiful way to bring healing, and to set the captives free!

     Lord God, thank You that You are a God outside of Time, Who has been with us throughout our lives and can bring healing and wholeness to all areas of our lives. Thank You for the healing balm of Your precious Blood, to wash away the stain of sin ~ 

(re-visited from Rosary Reflections, Sorrowful mystery, the Crucifixion. In this season of Lent, of Reconciliation, this memory has always blessed me. May it bring a blessing to others who may be unable to let go of images that want to rob us of our peace)

59) Lenten Resolution ~ silence

A new season of Lent, another opportunity to draw closer to Jesus, through Mary, to eternity! What resolution might help me on the journey? What came to mind was to commit to posting one “Musing” each week, long overdue. My friend’s weekly postings have been an inspiration and encouragement to do the same, so we’ll start today, and check back in at Easter to see how it went. I believe it will enrich my Lenten season, and hopefully drop a little grace for anyone who might chance to read them :). Here goes for week one:

“Be in the silent heart of Jesus”.   St Mother Terese Couderc.   2/15/24

     The words of St Mother Couderc to Anne Marie Schmidt have been coming to mind for me often lately.  To “be in the silent heart of Jesus.” What does that mean? What does it look like?

     For me, it’s a call to stop “thinking” and just BE with Jesus.  Taking a moment for prayer in the Spirit, and then a few moments of silence, close to His Sacred Heart.  WITHIN His Sacred Heart.  Going to a mental image of a location where I particularly am filled with the sense of wonder and awe at the Beauty of God’s Creation.  For me, this is in the woods Up North, in the Spring when the forget-me-nots are in full bloom and so thick, they look like a lake of brilliant blue in the woods.  Like steams of living water, gently moving with the breeze.

Our Marian Servant community is like the forget-me-nots.  The daisies?  Perhaps the Trinity, with the Saints and our Angels?  We’re all in this together, into eternity.

        How does this relate to “being in the silent heart of Jesus?” I’m reminded of the sacred silence that followed watching the film clip from “Saving Mr Banks.” It touched our hearts, our need for healing, and left us as a group in holy silence – any words spoken would surely have broken this tangible Presence we all felt.  The words from the song, “Mercy is falling, is falling, is falling…Mercy is falling like a sweet spring rain…” embodied the sense we had of God’s Presence, and His healing touch.  I want to spend more time in this precious place.  Not thinking, just Being with the Lord, in silence.     

Father God, help me to spend time with you in the Sacred Heart of Your Son.  In silence, just to BE there with Him.  To listen, to receive, and to bring Your love and mercy to a fearful and hurting world…

58) Visio Divina with Mary in Advent

Visio Divina with Mary

     Visio Divina is a complement to Lectio Divina, spending time with an image in the company of the Holy Spirit, and allowing Him to speak to my heart through the image.  A recent prayer opportunity has been a precious blessing to me in this second week of Advent.  

     

I spent several minutes focused on the image below, allowing my eyes to travel around the parts of the picture and be drawn to particular portions of it.  It’s a unique experience, as the Lord evokes particular thoughts and memories perfectly suited for each individual engaging in this prayer.  I did it with a group, and was blessed as each person shared what part of the image stood out for them, what particular word or Scripture came to their mind, and what they felt the Lord was revealing to them.

     My eyes were drawn to the center of the picture, where the bright Light was shielded by Mary’s hand.  It brought to my mind the word GLORY! And the Scripture, “All of us, gazing with unveiled face on the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, as from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (NASB 2 Cor 3:18) I thought of Christ’s resurrection Glory, of the moment when His dead human body was transformed as by a huge cosmic explosion into His glorified Body, producing a tremendous burst of Light and Power!  This was the image that was miraculously imprinted on the Shroud of Turin, and the image that is imprinted on my own soul, and on the soul of every baptized Christian.  The image that is sacred, is holy, and is to be respected and reverenced.

     I noticed how gently Mary held her hands, shielding and cradling the Light.  They seemed so tender, so very fragile yet strong.  There seemed to be a group of holy souls in the lower corners of the picture, the cloud of witnesses, adoring and marveling at the glowing and growing Light about to be born into the world.  

     I was blessed too to hear what the Lord was revealing to other group members.  Other words received were Grace, Peace, Purity, Longing, Contentment, Receptive, Focused, Caressing, a Love beyond all telling.  

The Lord was pouring out His grace on us as we prayed together in silence, and then shared the fruit of this sacred time together.

     You are invited by Jesus to spend time during Advent to be with His Mother, to prayerfully focus on an image or passage of Scripture of your choosing, and to receive His Love in preparation for the celebration of His birth.  May it be a time of blessing for you, drawing you more deeply into His Sacred Heart, through the Heart of the Blessed Mother, and into the Heart of the Father. 

Lord God, thank you for the the gifts of words and images, created in cooperation with Your grace, that help us to receive and share Your tremendous Love.  Grant us the desire and space to enter in to this sacred time with You, and more fully experience the Joy of Christmas!

36) Nothing Is Impossible for God ~ Luke 1:37

     The combination for the Adoration Chapel is 1:37.  What comes to my mind here is Luke 1:37 ~ nothing is impossible for God!  I’ve experienced His actions which are really impossible in the natural realm, but which actually happened, and which have strengthened my faith and trust in His promises.  As we come to celebrate the feast of St Dismas on March 25, the following experience comes to mind…

      My friend Joan is a holy woman who has had a hard life living as a Native American on a reservation.  She shared this story in her own words… “One of the people I offer my pain for is my son, Bruce, who is in prison.  Don’t think God doesn’t listen to your thoughts, ‘cause He does!  I was wondering which Saint to  pray to for Bruce.  A few days later as I was lying in bed with my Bible, my prayer book, my Saints book, and my rosary, I picked up the Saint book to read, and flipping through the pages I ran across Saint Dismas.  He’s the Patron Saint of prisoners, and is the good thief who was crucified with Jesus, and who Jesus told, “Today you will be with Me in Paradise.”  

    

The first thought I had was, “Why had I never noticed you before in my Saints book?”  The next morning when I got up I wanted to read about St. Dismas some more, but I couldn’t find him anywhere in the book.  I had just read about him the night before, and now he wasn’t there.  I looked through the book three times, but he just wasn’t in it.  I don’t know how that happened, but I believe God knew my thoughts and introduced me to this Saint to pray for Bruce.”

     I always am amazed as I recall this story, along with an increased desire to enlist the help of the Saints as I pray for others. The communion of Saints is real, and we do well to seek their intercession ~

     Lord God, thank You for answering our prayers, often in totally unexpected ways.  Thank You for the communion of Saints, and for connecting us to them in our times of need.  Thank You too for reminding us that You are indeed God beyond Time and Space, truly a God of the impossible ~ may we expand our expectations and rejoice in Your answers!