Eucharist – Spiritual Sun Pennies

88) Real Presence in the Eucharist

The Eucharist began to really come alive for me when our son Stevie was in the second grade. His class at Sacred Heart was preparing to receive the Sacrament of First Communion, and would come to the celebration of Mass together to learn more about it. Because of some renovating going on in the main church, daily Mass was being held in the basement of the Center, and there usually weren’t too many people besides the second graders in attendance. As it was open to adults though, I attended to be with Stevie and his class.

On one occasion, Fr. Len hadn’t expected any adults to be present, but an older couple and myself came to the celebration. He hadn’t brought any Hosts from the tabernacle in church, as the second graders weren’t ready to receive yet. So at the conclusion of the liturgy, he said he would go over to the church and bring some Hosts for us adults. I didn’t know the older couple, and felt somewhat out of place; I had errands to run and things to do, so I thought I’d just leave and be on my way. It was snowing outside, so I was brushing the snow off my car when it occurred to me: if the Church teaches that Jesus Christ is truly present in the consecrated Host, what on earth am I doing walking away without receiving Him? Fr. Len had returned to the Center, so I went back in, but he thought I had left, and so had consumed the Host he had brought for me.

This really got me to thinking about what I believed.

I had recently read an article about faith, which had encouraged a doubter to just “act as if” what he professed was true, whether he felt like it or not. “Act as if.” If my faith tells me that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist, how should that affect my life? Would I ever leave Mass without receiving Him? Would I be casual about the Blessed Sacrament?

I began to attend daily Mass as often as I could, and often reflected on how my life should look if I truly believed that the Lord of the Universe, the Author of Life, my Lord and my God was present and available to me each day. And as I prayed and read, the recognition grew that this awesome God wanted to come to me; He thirsted for souls to love and receive Him. More than just being “available,” He deeply desired union with us, His children.

The mystery of the Eucharist is so deep and multi-layered, I can only be amazed and incredibly grateful for the grace to believe that Jesus is truly present to us, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity, in the Blessed Sacrament. So often God has revealed a truth to me through our children, and often through Steve. The best thing I can do is pray, and the greatest prayer I can offer is the Mass…

Lord God, thank You for the incredible Gift of Yourself, offered to us at each Holy Mass. May we never take You for granted or neglect the opportunity to attend the sacred liturgy, keeping participation in the Mass at the center of our lives ~

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While kayaking on the lake one summer day, I leaned on the side of my kayak and tipped over in the water. I had both my camera and my cell phone with me – the cell phone died, but the camera survived, altho it sometimes produced spots on the photos as if to remind me of my water adventure. The camera still worked pretty well most of the time, so I was using it to take some photos of the monstrance in order to promote Adoration in our parish of Sacred Heart. As I looked at the images, they were appearing with a big dot right above the monstrance, which looked just like a huge Host. I had seen dots appear before, but never like this one, and in such a perfect location. It seemed to me as if the Lord were magnifying His Presence in the Host, and the image has been a beautiful blessing for me. It’s not a photoshop trick – it’s a gift from God

We only had the tabernacle with Mary’s statue in this position for a short time before the tabernacle was moved to a position under the mosaic behind the altar – the “spot” wouldn’t have showed up there like it does on the brick wall. Perfect timing, perfect positioning… Lord God, thank You for this beautiful surprise and declaration of Your Presence in the Blessed Sacrament! May our hearts grow to welcome you and Your Presence be magnified in our lives ~

78) Stay Home

At the National Eucharistic Congress, I was blessed with an image of the Lord Jesus, sitting in the armchair in my bedroom and waiting there for me at home. Home – the place where I’m with Jesus; safe, comforted, protected, at peace :). I saw myself as a little girl, entering the room, coming to sit on His lap, and He wrapped us up in the afghan that had been crocheted by my mom, with a prayer for each stitch. What a precious place to be, warm and cozy, snuggled close to His Heart!

Sharing this image and story with my spiritual director, I mentioned that a word that has been reappearing in my journals has been, “Stay Home!” The temptation to run off to various spiritual opportunities has not always been in balance with my duties and responsibilities as a wife and mother. I’ve been seeking to come to the right equilibrium as this word continues to show up!

As our session continued, more thoughts of Home began coming to mind, in different variations. I’ve moved a fair amount in the last ten years, as I’ve cared for my Mom in her last years, experienced divorce, and moved from our house to a house of my own, then to a small apartment, a more permanent apartment, and now to two bedrooms in my daughter’s house. In the process of these later moves I’ve recognized that Home for me is being close to a Tabernacle, where Jesus is always present and waiting for me.

The last several moves brought me to a new geographical place, away from friends and Church community I had known for more than 40 years. These moves have brought me to two new faith communities, starting all over again in meeting fellow parishioners. Yet this sense of Home, always having an Adoration chapel and daily Mass as an anchor have made the transitions quite smooth. I’ve been so grateful for the generous hospitality offered in these parishes to newcomers like me.

The Girl Scout song I learned years ago comes to mind here: “Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, but the other Gold.” The Gold is my friendship with Jesus, and to be with Him is always a coming Home.

Today I’m at our family cabin the the North Woods, a place that has always been Home for me. My parents bought it in 1946, when I was just one year old, and it’s been the place of family connecting and a stable peaceful retreat location as I’ve made all the many geographical moves in my lifetime. From city to city, state to state, house to apartment, this spot has always been there, always a coming Home destination.

As I sit here at the family table, I see the names of our family members which had been etched on the chairs around the table. I’m surrounded by the communion of saints, praying for me and calling me to join them in the eternal Home, in Heaven!

Another level of Home began to surface in reflection, that being the reality that Home is in my very own heart, where Jesus resides always. In the wake of the Congress, with the Eucharistic Pilgrimages, I came to recognize that each one of us is actually a Eucharistic Procession, as we carry Jesus with us wherever we go! I can envision Christians around the world, each with the Light of Christ within them, radiating that Light and bringing it’s Glow into the darkness of this suffering world.

“Home is where the Heart is,” is a saying that’s often been shared. If indeed Jesus lives in my heart, as His Word proclaims, I’m always at Home, no matter the time or location. I can indeed stay home, for Home is in my Heart! May I continue to live in that awareness of Jesus in my heart, to “stay Home” through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and Home to the Heart of the Father in Heaven!

Lord God, thank you for all the images and remembrances of Home. Thank You for connecting the dots between Home and Heart, between Home here and Home in Heaven. Thank you for calling us to live in communion with Your Heart, present within us, and to bring the Love of Your Heart to all we meet, to stay in the intimacy of Home with You…

70) In Persona Christi

70) In Persona Christi 6/23/24

The Church teaches that our priests are “in persona Christi,” in the very person of Christ. This has come home to me in a way that reinforces the reality of God’s personal knowledge and love for little me; He recognizes and knows me!

It’s always a delight when I meet someone I haven’t seen for a while and their face lights up as we recognize each other! It’s obvious that they remember me, and that they’re happy to see me 🙂 (Me too!) Gathering for family celebrations, meeting at conferences, and just bumping into people at the grocery store are all opportunities the Lord provides to bring His children together as family.

The ones that have really spoken to my heart are when a holy priest (or even a bishop!) recognizes little me, and their look conveys a warm welcome. There are so very many people that call for the attention of our pastors, I often marvel that they are able to keep us all straight! As I enter my late 70’s, I’m that much more aware of seeing people that look familiar, and searching my memory files to identify how we’re connected 🙂 When the name and relationship come in to focus, it’s a real gift!

As the Lord has been reminding me again and again, He really knows ME, and He provides circumstances and happy surprises to confirm that in my heart 🙂 I think of going to Mass in a small town far from home, and as I approached the pastor to receive Jesus, he recognized me, and said my name, Ann! He had prepared me for entrance into the Catholic Church 40 years ago, and I hadn’t seem him in a long time. In my spirit, I heard Jesus through this good priest call my name, and smile at me.

I remember a special Bishop remembering my name as we headed on the Quo Vadis boat to Holy Name Retreat House at Chambers Island; we hadn’t seen each other in several years, but he remembered me, and called me by name!

Going to Mass in another small town away from home, there was my spiritual director as the celerbrant – he knows me well, but was surprised to see me there, and his happy and inviting greeting came to me as straight from Jesus; this priest was in persona Christi.

The most recent was at the a very large Mass with the Bishop presiding. My friends, who were ahead of me in the communion line, switched to the Bishop’s line, and I followed them. When he raised the Host, speaking those precious words, “the Body of Christ,” his eyes met mine, and lit up enough for me to know that he too recognized me, remembered me, and that it was a happy memory for him! Again, we hadn’t seen each other in several years, but had some written correspondence that had been a blessing for us both, and had created that bond of friendship that is centered on Christ. Once again I was reminded, “God Himself knows you, He remembers you, and He’s delighted to bless you again with a gift that would be meaningful only to you. He loves YOU!” (ME!!!). My heart sings with gratitude to the Good God Who can never be outdone in His generous love for His little children!

Lord God, how grateful I am for the repeated reminders of Your personal intimate love for me; that You know me, remember me, and delight in surprising me with this gift, offered especially through Your holy priests, “in persona Christi!” May You speak to each of their hearts so personally also, as they bring Your love and mercy to Your children…

39) poem – the Breaking of Bread

the breaking of Bread

Holy Eucharist

True Presence

feeding our souls

Body and Blood

Soul and Divinity

Your Life poured out

for the life of the world

time in Your Presence

to open our minds

understand Scripture

all written of You

here I am, Lord

here in Your Presence

Eucharistic Adoration

the simple white Host

received You this morning

St. Martin’s communion

St Pius tonight

Fr. John Mass

You live in me, Lord

here in my heart

doors flung wide open

torn off their hinges

the word You gave Karen

there are no doors

and You’re waiting for her, Lord

waiting for… what?

prayer of relinquishment

total surrender

the harder we try

the more distant it gets

time to stop trying

to relax and to trust

receiving Your Love

healing balm floods my soul

“are not our hearts, Lord

burning within us

are not our hearts

lighted with Fire…”

the disciples felt exiled

leaving Jerusalem

You call them to return

wait in the Upper Room

where is my Upper Room, Lord?

where do I wait for You?

at the foot of the Cross

covered with Your Blood

the need to return

to leave the Risen Christ

kneel below the crucifix

uniting my heart to Yours

it’s only the grace of Pentecost

that allows me to

feel my pain

and unite it then with Yours

without the Holy Spirit

I’d be swallowed up

in grief

crushed and in despair

I need the whole Story, Lord

can’t skip any parts

to live abundant life

without fear… only Love

Joy exploding

at the breaking of the Bread

at the opening of eyes

awakening of hearts

12:35

pierce my heart, Lord

that graces may flow

bringing Your healing Love

thank You Lord, praise You

the road to Emmaus

walking with others

seeking Your will…..

38) Poem – Chosen Vessel

chosen vessel

Mary’s womb

God’s Word spoken

“I want you”

here I am, Lord

Divine Mercy Chapel

after Mass at St Pius

Fr. Tom homily

moment of conception

how must it have felt?

Divine spark within her

flooded with Joy

Conchita’s great gift

to be one with Mary

spiritual incarnation

conception of Love

You made Yourself known, Lord

in the breaking of Bread

another epiphany

celebration of grace

my own revelation, Lord

Stevie’s class Mass

and it occurred to me

to act as if it’s all true

If I truly believe

You’re Alive in this Host

Lord God Almighty

in this small piece of Bread

if I believe this is True

my life must be changed

every thought every act

centered on Eucharist

believing You come to me

me, whom You’ve called

chosen to receive You

our hearts intertwined

God of the Universe

Creator Redeemer

how dare I believe

You’ve chosen and called me

I who am nothing

the blink of an eye

a puff of soft smoke

a drop in the sea

from the deep to a mountaintop

heart racing with joy

want to tell the whole world

it’s all true – He’s Alive!

stay with me, Lord

my heart aches to receive You

how could I live

without knowledge of You?

so here I am, Lord

here in the chapel

I’ll kneel for a while

before I must leave

enter my heart, Lord

please be at home there

I’ve prepared it for You

as best I know how

swept it and cleaned it

emptied the closets

scrubbed it and shined it

did all I know how

come Lord, live in me

my time’s running out

is it my 11th hour?

may I spend it with You…

Fifth Luminous Mystery – the Institution of the Eucharist

This really got me to thinking about what I believed.

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Fifth Joyful Mystery – Finding in the Temple

During the time of our marriage breakup, I was receiving counseling help ia a neighboring city. My counselor, Suzanne, was a member of the parish where my spiritual director, Fr. Tom, was pastor. During one of our sessions, Suzanne asked me where I most liked to pray. I responded, “In an empty quiet church, by myself before the Blessed Sacrament.”

“Fine!” she exclaimed, “call Fr. Tom and have him open the church for you!”

It was evening; the church would be closed, and I would never dream of calling him to make a request like that, and I told Suzanne so. “OK, I’ll call him for you!” Suzanne knew Fr. Tom quite well, and had no hesitation in making this request for me. I felt embarrassed about imposing on him, but the call was being made anyhow ~

“It’s all set – just go over there and he’ll open it up for you.” So off I went, just a few blocks away, and knocked timidly on the door of the rectory. Fr. Tom was right there, and graciously ushered me over to the church, where he turned on the lights surrounding the altar and Blessed Sacrament, assured me I could stay as long as I wanted, and then quietly exited.

I can visualize it so clearly – the beautiful recently restored sanctuary – all white and gold, with the words “My Lord and My God” emblazoned on the wall. I sat for a while in the front pew, and then removed my shoes and slowly approached the tabernacle, which was nestled behind the altar and some columns. I stood quietly directly before the tabernacle, only a few inches from the Blessed Sacrament.

I had been having some shoulder pain, and my arm and shoulder really hurt – I thought of Jesus carrying the heavy Cross on His shoulder, and remembered reading how this particular wound had been especially painful for Him. “I have a gift I can bring,” was my thought as I offered this small pain in union with His sacrifice. And the pain of our broken marriage, the rejection and feelings of abandonment that flooded over me.

I stood there for several hours, singing a little, praying a lot, and mostly just being there with the Lord. Toward the end of this time, I received a beautiful image, which looked like wax being poured from the tabernacle into my own being, making me like a candle with one flame in the tabernacle, one within me, and one on top of me. A deep sense of peace and contentment filled me – I wanted to stay longer, but knew it was time for the hour drive back home.

I thanked the Lord for this incredible precious time that had been gifted to me, and for Suzanne and Fr. Tom for making it possible, and then reluctantly withdrew from my privileged spot before the tabernacle. I retrieved my shoes, and quietly left, filled with gratitude and the image that had been given to me in that holy place. The next day I came across a quotation attributed to St. Cyril of Alexandria: “As two pieces of wax fused together make one, so he who receives holy communion is so united with Christ that Christ is in him and he is in Christ.” What a precious gift I had been given!

As time went on, more pieces came together to continue to enlarge and confirm this image. One came on a holy card of Our Lady of the Candles, with this poem on the back of the card:

The holy card was dated 1949 ~ I had never heard of Our Lady of the Candles before. The card appeared, I don’t remember how, on the Feast of Candlemas, and shows Mary holding the baby Jesus aloft, as a flame of Light, with herself like a candle. It was very beautiful to me.

Sometime later I heard Fr. Tom quote these words of George Bernard Shaw in a homily: “I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, I more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no ‘brief candle’ for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” I didn’t get to hear Fr. Tom preach all that often, living in a different town, so the words jumped out at me all the more ~

The final piece (or perhaps more are coming?) came from a small flame with the words “Come Be My Light” from Mother Teresa. I had sketched my original image to remember it shortly after it happened, and then added these other gifts as they appeared – over the course of several years. All together they speak to my heart of finding Christ in the Temple – in the Blessed Sacrament in the tabernacle, and burning in my heart…

Lord God, thank You for the beautiful gifts You give to bring us healing and hope, encouragement and strength – and especially to remind us that You live within us, more and more with each reception of the Eucharist. May I be like that candle wax, slowly consumed to bring Your Light to the world I live in ~

34) Fifth Luminous Mystery – the Institution of the Eucharist

The Eucharist began to really come alive for me when our son was in the second grade. His class at Sacred Heart was preparing to receive the Sacrament of First Communion, and would come to the celebration of Mass together to learn more about it. Because of some renovating going on in the main church, daily Mass was being held in the basement of the Center, and there usually weren’t too many people besides the second graders in attendance. As it was open to adults though, I attended to be with the class.

This really got me to thinking about what I believed.

The mystery of the Eucharist is so deep and multi-layered, I can only be amazed and incredibly grateful for the grace to believe that Jesus is truly present to us, Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity, in the Blessed Sacrament. So often God has revealed a truth to me through our children. The best thing I can do is pray, and the greatest prayer I can offer is the Mass…