The opportunity for Reconciliation was always especially meaningful when celebrated at the Cenacle of Our Lady of Divine Providence – it seems that the Lord often would bring up things from the past that were stumbling blocks to grace.
At one of the sessions, I felt led to confess a sin of the past whose memory often haunted me. I had confessed it in a general way previously, but now felt the need to be more explicit about the experience. The priest was very helpful, as he assured me of God’s grace and mercy. In thanksgiving, I went to the Adoration Chapel to express my gratitude to the Lord.
As I sat before the tabernacle, the Lord gifted me with a beautiful image. I saw myself sitting on a bench beneath the Cross, with Mary sitting beside me with her arm around my shoulders. In my lap I held a photo album – in it were pictures of the situations I had confessed. Jesus was on the Cross above us, and as we sat there, His precious Blood began to drip down on the photos, and each drop totally erased the pictures, making them white as if a drop of bleach had been put on them. He was blotting out all those images with His precious Blood, so that I no longer saw them, but only saw a clean white frame, and felt the comfort of His Presence, and that of Our Blessed Mother. Now whenever the enemy seeks to raise those pictures before my eyes again, all I see is that image of us sitting beneath the Cross, with those drops of precious Blood that make each photo all white.
The Lord has blessed me several times by changing the way I remember a difficult experience. Asking Him to show me where He was with me, or what He was doing, have brought forth images that provide healing grace to painful moments in time, and have allowed me to become more free. What a beautiful way to bring healing, and to set the captives free!
Lord God, thank You that You are a God outside of Time, Who has been with us throughout our lives and can bring healing and wholeness to all areas of our lives. Thank You for the healing balm of Your precious Blood, to wash away the stain of sin ~
(re-visited from Rosary Reflections, Sorrowful mystery, the Crucifixion. In this season of Lent, of Reconciliation, this memory has always blessed me. May it bring a blessing to others who may be unable to let go of images that want to rob us of our peace)
I recently met a young woman, I’ll call her Beth, who struck me as being so pure and sweet, joyful and with a sense of peace about her. We were at a conference together, and many of the participants wore anxious expressions, and spoke of the fears and troubles they were dealing with.
Not my new friend; Beth’s words were filled with gratitude and thanksgiving for God’s blessings to her throughout her life.
Our conversation reminded me of a talk I heard years ago. The speaker was a young woman named Cary who was making a presentation to a group of other young people who were acquainted with her – the know her background story. A young man was the co-presenter, and he was the first to speak to the group. He shared how when he had been immersed in the darkness of addiction and poor choices, of sin, the Lord had come and rescued him. He had been pulled from the swamp and brought into the Kingdom of Light, and was now helping others to find their lifeline in Jesus.
Cary spoke next, and to the surprise of the audience, she began by speaking of how God had saved her from drinking, from promiscuity, from many sinful behaviors and activities. Her audience was taken aback, because this wasn’t the story they thought they knew of her life. The part that has touched my heart is what she said next; God had saved her from all these before she ever was involved in any of them. He had kept her from making the poor choices that would have led her down the path she described.
Being with Beth and listening to her innocence, I recognized that here was another child of God who had been shielded from the negative repercussions of bad choices – she had been saved from them without even realizing it.
A recent question in a devotional I’m reading asked the question, “Do I really believe that Jesus is my Savior?” As I prayed with this, it became apparent that yes, I can see in my own life all the negative things that the Lord saved me from experiencing. He is even now saving me from doubt, from loneliness, from feeling rejected or abandoned. Those things which I may identify as having been difficult, from which He didn’t “save” me, have been sources of growth in faith and love, for which I am now grateful!
We’ve been re-visiting St Therese’s STORY OF A SOUL, where the word “little” resounds thoughout her testimony, shedding light on her own purity of heart and innocence. All of this has come together in a beautiful way to fill my heart with gratitude once more, for God’s Goodness to me, and for how He has highlighted it with the stories of Beth, Cary, and St Therese. I thank God for the gift of Salvation, brought home to me on so many levels.
Lord God, thank You for the gift of Salvation! Poured out on me from the moment of my conception, and as the promise of life eternal with You. I was saved, I’m being saved, I will be saved, God willing, as I seek the grace of final perseverance to stay true to the One Who is Truth…
During Covid when the churches were closed and we weren’t able to receive the Sacraments, our parish responded by offering appointments to come to the church singly and receive the Eucharist. How we missed our daily Mass and the easy access to communion! What a gift it was for our pastor to make this arrangement to allow us to receive Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament!
I’m often at church lately when it is empty (one of my favorite times and places 🙂 and the memory of that blessed Encounter always touches my heart. We had to enter by the front door, one at a time with a designated appointment. The church was empty and silent; the only person present was our pastor, who sat in the chancel near the tabernacle and awaited each solo arrival.
I arrived at my appointed time and entered the front door. Before me was the long aisle, with empty pews on both sides – the aisle seemed so long! The silence was palpable, and my footsteps seemed so loud as I gingerly made my way toward the chancel and the communion rail. It seemed such along way to walk! Fr Joseph rose from his chair, and awaited me as I knelt down to receive the Blessed Sacrament. It was a holy moment, with not a breath stirring in the church. Jesus came to me, from the hands of this holy priest, and I was so aware of the sacredness of this Encounter. A short pause, and then I exited by the side door as another soul came to receive the Eucharist.
How grateful I am for this memory, and how I want each reception of the Eucharist to carry the same reverential blessing as my Covid reception! How blessed I am to have an unlocked church where I can come in the quiet of its emptiness and stand there at the entrance, reliving this moment!
Lord God, how blessed we are to be able to receive You in the Blessed Sacrament! Thank you for the creative and generous ways your Church responded to the Covid desert, through the goodness and holiness of your priests! May I never take the reception of communion for granted, and keep this memory alive in my heart…
A new season of Lent, another opportunity to draw closer to Jesus, through Mary, to eternity! What resolution might help me on the journey? What came to mind was to commit to posting one “Musing” each week, long overdue. My friend’s weekly postings have been an inspiration and encouragement to do the same, so we’ll start today, and check back in at Easter to see how it went. I believe it will enrich my Lenten season, and hopefully drop a little grace for anyone who might chance to read them :). Here goes for week one:
“Be in the silent heart of Jesus”. St Mother Terese Couderc. 2/15/24
The words of St Mother Couderc to Anne Marie Schmidt have been coming to mind for me often lately. To “be in the silent heart of Jesus.” What does that mean? What does it look like?
For me, it’s a call to stop “thinking” and just BE with Jesus. Taking a moment for prayer in the Spirit, and then a few moments of silence, close to His Sacred Heart. WITHIN His Sacred Heart. Going to a mental image of a location where I particularly am filled with the sense of wonder and awe at the Beauty of God’s Creation. For me, this is in the woods Up North, in the Spring when the forget-me-nots are in full bloom and so thick, they look like a lake of brilliant blue in the woods. Like steams of living water, gently moving with the breeze.
Our Marian Servant community is like the forget-me-nots. The daisies? Perhaps the Trinity, with the Saints and our Angels? We’re all in this together, into eternity.
How does this relate to “being in the silent heart of Jesus?” I’m reminded of the sacred silence that followed watching the film clip from “Saving Mr Banks.” It touched our hearts, our need for healing, and left us as a group in holy silence – any words spoken would surely have broken this tangible Presence we all felt. The words from the song, “Mercy is falling, is falling, is falling…Mercy is falling like a sweet spring rain…” embodied the sense we had of God’s Presence, and His healing touch. I want to spend more time in this precious place. Not thinking, just Being with the Lord, in silence.
Father God, help me to spend time with you in the Sacred Heart of Your Son. In silence, just to BE there with Him. To listen, to receive, and to bring Your love and mercy to a fearful and hurting world…
Visio Divina is a complement to Lectio Divina, spending time with an image in the company of the Holy Spirit, and allowing Him to speak to my heart through the image. A recent prayer opportunity has been a precious blessing to me in this second week of Advent.
I spent several minutes focused on the image below, allowing my eyes to travel around the parts of the picture and be drawn to particular portions of it. It’s a unique experience, as the Lord evokes particular thoughts and memories perfectly suited for each individual engaging in this prayer. I did it with a group, and was blessed as each person shared what part of the image stood out for them, what particular word or Scripture came to their mind, and what they felt the Lord was revealing to them.
My eyes were drawn to the center of the picture, where the bright Light was shielded by Mary’s hand. It brought to my mind the word GLORY! And the Scripture, “All of us, gazing with unveiled face on the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, as from the Lord who is the Spirit.” (NASB 2 Cor 3:18) I thought of Christ’s resurrection Glory, of the moment when His dead human body was transformed as by a huge cosmic explosion into His glorified Body, producing a tremendous burst of Light and Power! This was the image that was miraculously imprinted on the Shroud of Turin, and the image that is imprinted on my own soul, and on the soul of every baptized Christian. The image that is sacred, is holy, and is to be respected and reverenced.
I noticed how gently Mary held her hands, shielding and cradling the Light. They seemed so tender, so very fragile yet strong. There seemed to be a group of holy souls in the lower corners of the picture, the cloud of witnesses, adoring and marveling at the glowing and growing Light about to be born into the world.
I was blessed too to hear what the Lord was revealing to other group members. Other words received were Grace, Peace, Purity, Longing, Contentment, Receptive, Focused, Caressing, a Love beyond all telling.
The Lord was pouring out His grace on us as we prayed together in silence, and then shared the fruit of this sacred time together.
You are invited by Jesus to spend time during Advent to be with His Mother, to prayerfully focus on an image or passage of Scripture of your choosing, and to receive His Love in preparation for the celebration of His birth. May it be a time of blessing for you, drawing you more deeply into His Sacred Heart, through the Heart of the Blessed Mother, and into the Heart of the Father.
Lord God, thank you for the the gifts of words and images, created in cooperation with Your grace, that help us to receive and share Your tremendous Love. Grant us the desire and space to enter in to this sacred time with You, and more fully experience the Joy of Christmas!
Our Marian Servant Community is reading ST THERESE, A TREASURED LOVE STORY by ArchBp Fulton Sheen, and it’s packed with spiritual gems! Chapter 5, titled “St Therese and the Value of Suffering,” is a chapter we all agree will be one to read and re-read. What has especially spoken to many of us are the final words of the chapter, where ArchBp Sheen speaks of being in a time of silence, and hearing a cry coming down from the cross.
He went in search of the cry, and when he found it, there was a man, being crucified. His heart deeply moved, he sought to help him down, beginning to remove the nails, when he was stopped by the words, “Let them be, for I cannot be taken down until every man, woman and child come to take Me down.” Sheen responded, “What can I do? I cannot bear to hear Your cry!” And the Lord spoke, “go into the world and tell everyone that you meet, there is a Man on the cross.”
I hear the cry from the cross when I read of natural disasters, hurricanes and wildfires that have brought massive loss of life and devastation to so many. I hear the cry from the cross of Christians in countries of oppression where their churches and homes are being burned, and their loved ones killed. I hear the cry from the cross coming from the hearts of those whose same sex attraction has shattered their dreams, and broken the hearts of their parents and loved ones, I hear the cry from the cross when I hear of another life that has been snuffed out by abortion. The cry rises in magnitude, to a crescendo that I cannot block out.
What am I to do with this? My faith is a faith of joy in the Lord; how am I to reconcile that with the call to allow my heart to be broken with all that has broken the heart of Jesus? The only response I can conceive is to do all I can to share the Good News that God has become Man, not only to share in our suffering, but to bring us to true freedom and joy in the hope of eternal life!
Every night in her bedtime prayers, my mother would pray for mercy for man’s inhumanity to man. That prayer has become my own, as I beg God’s mercy on this suffering humanity, that all may come to know the joy that belongs to a life of faith in the Risen Lord Jesus. In the midst of trials and disorders, God’s grace can bestow the strength and inner peace needed to live in this broken world. One by one, to make it a little less broken, to bring healing and compassion to each cry that is heard.
Lord God, may Your words from the Cross come to fruition, that all may come to know You and receive Your mercy. That we may become fully human, and cherish and respect all life that You have created. May I do my part in proclaiming, “there is a Man on the cross!” And He has come to set mankind free to love and serve one another, and to be happy with Him in heaven forever!
“Come and see what it’s like here at the Mission,” was the repeated invitation extended by my friend Loretta, the wife of a doctor serving at a mission hospital in rural Zimbabwe. We had been members of the same prayer group for many years, and had prayed together as she and her husband Dick discerned God’s call to return to mission work. They had served in Africa with the help of Mission Doctors of Los Angeles in the early 70’s, then returned to the States to raise their seven children. After retirement from a family medical practice, they felt prompted by the Spirit to return to Africa in 2001.
Dick’s work with HIV/AIDS patients and nurses’ training had been extremely rewarding, and Loretta had been blessed by helping to start up mothers’ prayer groups, and providing help for some of the many orphans. Their invitation to visit promised to be an adventure into a new world for me. None of us expected the challenges emerging from the upcoming elections in Zimbabwe.
I arrived a week after the elections had taken place, yet the results were yet to be released. The climate of hope for change was shifting to one of a tense peace, as people began to realize that the government in place was not about to concede defeat, regardless of election results. My visit at the mission seemed isolated from the growing unrest in the country. Here I was meeting so many beautiful gentle people, generous in their kindness and hospitality. I began writing journal/poems to process what I was witnessing…
Poem 1
Zimbabwe Mission 4/18/08
Peace and plenty
words on a wall hanging
family heirloom
at home in Wisconsin
but here in Zimbabwe
is fear and privation
seen in the faces
of people on the road
yet smiles too and handshakes
how are you?
I am fine…
friendly encounters
sweets for the children
adults like them too
few and far between
here among these people
trip to Harare
lavish government mansions
high walls and fences
barbed wire and broken glass
security guards at the gates
uniforms hanging
on small gangly figures
hungry for bread
so many contrasts
seen here more clearly
living at the Mission
an oasis from fear
how to reconcile
poverty and plenty
how to reach out
and not expend one’s own self
Christ centered life-style
prayers and Eucharist
becoming the bread
to give to the poor
healing the sick
bringing hope to the dying
providing necessities
for the ones who come here
thank You Lord praise You
God of all humanity
You’re here in our midst
teaching us how to love…
The mission compound seemed a peaceful oasis in the poor rural area where it was located. People were going about their daily business and routines, each day waiting for the release of the election results, and wondering what their future would hold.
Poem 2
Zimbabwe Mission 4/19/08
Hangin’ out
no agenda
reading books
taking naps
time to hear You
am I listening?
I hear bird song
neighbor’s music
baby crying
children laughing
chickens clucking
roosters crowing
leaves rustling
insects buzzing
gecko skittering
cat meowing
fingers typing
radio crackling
so much news
of terrorism
not just here
but other places
bombs exploding
people dying
gentle breezes
warm late sunshine
blue blue sky
full moon tonight
shining down
on this oasis
shining too
on brutal beatings
Lord have mercy
on Your people
caught in snares
of sin and fear
so much suffering
so much joy
bound together
humanity’s calling
only You
can bring some meaning
into worlds
of mindless chaos
only You are
life worth living
all for Jesus
in reparation…
More and more news reached us of terrorism, abductions and murders. One of the doctors at the hospital was arrested and jailed for being suspected of transporting people of the opposition political party. We began to see the fear in the eyes of people visiting the mission, as the emotional wounds from the civil war of the 80’s began to re-surface. Stories of weapons being shipped into the country raised the level of anxiety and fear.
Poem 3
Zimbabwe Mission 4/19/08
Trip to Masvingo
almost went golfing
time for distraction
from uncertain future
rumblings of violence
army and police force
all being mobilized
what’s going on here?
munitions from China
the shipment’s in Durban
they won’t unload it
thank God it’s on hold
but what of tomorrow?
Green Bombers and militia
trained to raise havoc
instill fear and submission
in Mission oasis
we hear children’s laughter
roosters and chickens
beautiful bird song
sunshine and gentle breeze
flowers and fruit trees
ample provisions
life in enclosure
hearing the news
on the Voice of America
checking the internet
Zimbabwe situation
not a new picture
repressive government
power hungry leaders
exploiting the people
arms pact with China
exchanging for resources
darkness finds cohorts
when will it end?
prayer lifted to heaven
imploring intervention
when will it end, Lord?
Your Kingdom come?
thank You Lord praise You
You grant the far vision
helping us rise
beyond this hard circumstance
giving us courage
and peace in our hearts
like the oasis
of the Mission today
just for this moment
that’s all we have
trusting Your mercy
You’re here with us now…
Our days each began with prayer and mass at the nearby church. One morning Fr. Victor warned us all not to travel at night, and to always go out in twos or more. He met with Dick at the hospital and reported rumors circulating indicating increasing threats of violence. Dick and Loretta had planned on returning to the States for a family reunion in July, but the changing political climate called for a change in plans.
Poem 4
Zimbabwe Mission 4/20/08
Decision is made
time to go home now
cut short the stay here
danger is rising
aim for next weekend
tie up the loose ends
empty the freezer
distribute some food
some for the Sisters
some for the prayer group
all who come visit
will receive an offering
Dick and Loretta
had planned on July home
they hope to return
when things settle down
what does that mean
for the people who live here?
what will they go through
before peace is restored?
and this isn’t Your peace, Lord
not what You give
the peace that will come
is short lived and uneasy
peace that will bring
less open violence
less overt action
to keep rulers in power
and what after that, Lord?
when will real peace come?
the kind that takes root
in the core of our hearts?
that’s the peace of the Kingdom
given only by You
the kind that calls people
to care for each other
the peace of compassion
to show love to our neighbor
to help those in need
and share what You’ve given us
so now we’ll pack up
prepare for departure
we’ll head for Harare
on Saturday next
sending out emails
to make flight arrangements
hoping all goes well
to close out this stay
thank You Lord praise You
this doesn’t surprise You
we pray that we’re doing
what’s best in Your eyes…
Within a week we had rearranged our flights and prepared to leave this beautiful country. “Please pray for us,” was the mission peoples’ urgent plea, spoken both with quiet words and fear-filled eyes. “Don’t forget us,” was the second refrain, oft repeated
How can I forget the warm wide smiles and greetings we received? How can I forget stores that are empty of food, and parents unable to provide for their families with 80% unemployment and runaway inflation?
How can I forget the generous Sisters, who had so little yet always managed to share what they had with the stranger to their land? How can I forget Sr. Gertrude trying to teach me Shona, and gently wagging her head and smiling at my poor progress? How can I forget the face of the orphan boy with his little sister at his side, saying as if to himself,”We must pray to God,” and asking if we had a Bible he could have?
How can I forget the trip out in the country with the home-based care team, where the father lay dying of AIDS in his hut, being cared for by two small children? How can any of us forget how very blessed we are and turn a blind eye or deaf ear to our brothers and sisters asking for our prayers?
The day before we left the country, I fell ill and needed a place to rest. We had attended morning mass at a retirement home for religious in Harare, and they had kindly given me a room with a bed for a few hours. While resting, I heard a knock on the door…
Poem 5
House of Adoration in Harare 4/28/08
“Who is my neighbor?”
the question calls for an answer
a simple request
from an elderly Sister
I’d been given a room
a place to lie down
a thick warm blue blanket
to comfort my chilled bones
now a hesitant knock
on the door to the room
I rise up to answer
and see those blue eyes
such beautiful eyes
full of life and sparkle
make it hard to believe
when she tells me she’s blind
she lives next door
to the room I’d been given
she heard me enter
and came to greet the stranger
“Who is my neighbor?”
she asks it again
she says she is blind
and cannot see who I am
I’ve seen blindness before
in eyes that have sight
eyes that are open
but have no life within them
her eyes are alive
the eyes of deep faith
she sees more with them
than do others who lack it
“I’m only a visitor
come to find rest
not feeling too well
so I’m lying down for a bit.”
a kind gentle smile
accompanies her reply
she explains that she came
to greet a new neighbor
would that I
could have eyes like hers
full of love and compassion
Christ’s eyes for the world
What a beautiful Sister who had knocked on my door! The contrast between darkness and light that is being fought in Zimbabwe seemed to be highlighted again and again, with the light truly shining in the faith of this Sister. How the world longs for peace; would that the Kingdom come soon to bring an end to innocent suffering, and radiate instead the joy and peace only Christ can bestow.
We returned to the States, but a part of our hearts remains in Zimbabwe, with the hope that the world hears their cry for prayer. It will forever be engraved on my heart, along with the memory of the beautiful eyes of faith that help to sustain those struggling with oppression. “Who is my neighbor?” All of humanity, each person a child of God.
Spiritual Sun Pennies 