Author: Ann Radtke

Peace – Oct. 6, 1998

     “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.”  Isaiah  26:3

    Driving over to Casco to see Fr. Tom, the weather was pretty stormy – lots of rain, sometimes in torrents, and grey mist over the landscape.  Throughout the trip this verse repeated itself in my mind – at other points in time I would have been anxious and white-knuckled driving in difficult weather, but the Lord has been granting me a beautiful peace that has been spreading to more and more areas of my life.  It allows me to maintain a calm center in the midst of various trials, most of them minor, a few more dramatic.  Entering the church evoked another dimension of peace – a holy peace.  The church was warm and inviting, softly lit, quiet – empty of human activity – but filled with a perceptible Presence of God.  Fr.Tom would be coming over from the school in a moment, so I took the opportunity to light a vigil candle – the rows of candles were set in front of a beautiful statue of Jesus Who gazes down on those who kneel before Him.  His left hand is touching His Sacred Heart, exposed on His chest, and His right hand is raised in blessing.  The tunic that He wears is a warm red and gentle green – although painted, it seems like fabric – I could almost feel the softness of the material.  I lit the candle and knelt before my Lord – although the air in the church was still, the candles were flickering – except for the one I had just lit.  It burned steadily, not wavering at all, amidst the other dancing flames.  My heart felt like that – at peace and rest in the Lord.  A quote I had recently read stated, “Acquire interior peace, and many will find salvation near you,” attributed to St. Seraphim. That has been my prayer of late; to stay centered in the Lord and remain in His perfect peace.  My desire is to serve Him and to draw others to Him – perhaps my best witness is this beautiful peace.

     Elizabeth Eliot -”Teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and with firm conviction that Your will governs all. In unforeseen events, let me not forget that all are sent by You.”

     Mother Teresa – “The fruit of silence is prayer; the fruit of prayer is faith; the fruit of faith is love; the fruit of love is service; the fruit of service is peace.”

      Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity – O my God, Trinity whom I adore, help me to forget myself entirely so to establish myself in You, unmovable and peaceful as if my soul were already in eternity.  May nothing be able to trouble my peace or make me leave you, O my unchanging God, but may each minute bring me more deeply into your mystery!  Grant  my soul peace.  Make it your heaven, your beloved dwelling and the place of your rest.  May I never abandon you there, but may I be there, whole and entire, completely vigilant in my faith, entirely adoring, and wholly given over to your creative action.”

     2 Thess 3:16 – “May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.”

     John 14:27- “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give it to you.  Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.”

     Lord Jesus Christ, you said to your apostles: “I leave you peace, my peace I give to you.”  Look not on our sins, but on the faith of your Church, and grant us the peace and unity of your kingdom where you live forever and ever. Amen.

     “Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.”  Martin Luther King, Jr.

     Isaiah 32:18 – “My people will live in peaceful country, in secure dwellings and quiet resting places.”

     “There is a way to peace, peace itself being the way.”  A. J. Muste (1885-1967)  Saints Book

     Teresa of Avila bookmark in her breviary – “Let nothing disturb you.  Let nothing frighten you. All is fleeting. God alone is unchanging.  Patience obtains everything. The one who possesses God lacks nothing. God alone suffices.”

     “Have no fear for what tomorrow may bring.  The same loving God who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. God will either shield you from suffering or give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.”  St. Francis de Sales

     June 22 – St. Thomas More in a letter to his daughter before being beheaded ~ “Nothing can come but what God wills. And I am sure that whatever that be, however bad it may seem, it shall indeed be the best.”

     July 23 – from GOD CALLING ~ “My children, that Peace does truly pass all understanding. That peace no man taketh from you.  No man has the power to disturb that Peace, but you yourselves can let the world and its worries and distraction in.

     You can give the entrance to fears and despondency. You can open the door to the robber who breaks in upon, and destroys, your peace.

     Set yourselves this task to allow nothing to disturb your peace, your heart calm, with Me.  Stop all work, stop all intercourse with others – until this is restored.   Do not let those about you spoil your peace of heart and mind. Do not let anyone without, any trouble, any irritation, any adversity, disturb it for one moment.

     Look on each difficulty as training to enable you to acquire that peace.  Every work, every interruption – set yourself to see that none of it troubles the harmony of the real you, that is hid with me in the Secret Place of the Father.

     Exodus 14:14 – “The Lord himself will fight for you; you only have only to keep still.”

     Isaiah 32:17- “And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.”

     from BEHOLD HE COMES by Fr. Benedict Groeschel – Jan 4 – St. Elizabeth Ann Seton trans. of A TREATISE OF INTERIOR PEACE by Fr. Ambrose de Lombez ~

“The love of God produces submission of our will to all the orders of his providence; and our submission preserves us in a holy tranquility amidst the most painful reverses, and an admirable equilibrium of mind through the greatest agitations and most cruel vicissitudes of life.”

     Isaiah 30:15 -”For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:  by waiting and by calm you will be saved, in quiet and in trust your strength lies…”

     One Bread One Body  1/17/02 – Fr. Al – “Don’t just do something; sit there.”

     Indira Ghandi – “You must learn to be still in the midst of activity, and to be vibrantly alive in repose.”

    John Greenleaf Whittier – ”drop thy still dews of quietness, till all our strivings cease;  take from our souls the strain and stress and let our ordered lives confess the beauty of thy peace.”

     Sufi prayer – from Bp. Morneau retreat 7/02

     O Divine One, to thee I raise my whole being,

     a vessel emptied of self,

    Accept, O gracious God, this my emptiness,

     so to fill me with thyself, – thy light, thy love, thy life, (thy laughter)

     that these thy precious gifts might radiate through me

     and overflow the chalice of my heart

     into the hearts of all those with whom I come in contact this day

     thus revealing unto them the beauty of thy joy and wholeness and the serenity of thy

           peace

     which nothing can destroy……      Amen

   “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well”         

    Julien of Norwich

Refrain from “How Can I Keep From Singing”

     No storm can shake my inmost calm, While to that rock I’m clinging.

     Since Love is Lord of heaven and earth, How can I keep from singing?

     Quaker hymn attr. to Robert Lowry  (1826-1899)

Father Jacques Philippe (French priest, member of the Beatitudes Community)

quoted in Magnificat Vol 17, No 3, May 2015  p..67-68

                               WHAT THE ADVOCATE WILL DO

     Often we cause ourselves to become agitated and disturbed by trying to resolve everything by ourselves, when it would be more efficacious to remain peacefully before the gaze of God and to allow him to act and to work in us with his wisdom and power, which are infinitely superior to ours…

      One of the dominant aspects of spiritual combat is the struggle on the plane of thoughts.  To struggle often means opposition between those thoughts that originate in our own spirit, or the mentality of our surroundings or even sometimes from the enemy himself (the origin of the thoughts is of little importance) and which cause us disquietude, fear, discouragement and, on the other hand, those thoughts that could comfort us and reestablish our peace.  In view of this combat, happy is the man who has filled his quiver (Ps 127) with arrows of good thoughts, that is to say, with solid convictions, based on faith, that nourish one’s intelligence and fortify one’s heart in times of trial.

      Among these arrows in a hero’s hand, one of the affirmations of faith that should permanently reside in us is that all the reasons that cause us to lose our sense of peace are bad reasons.

      This conviction is most certainly not founded on human considerations.  It can only be a certitude of faith, founded on the Word of God.  It does not reside in the reasoning of the world, as Jesus clearly told us: Peace I leave with you, my own peace I give you; a peace the world cannot give, this is my gift to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled or afraid…   (John 14:27)

     Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.  Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.

                                                                            St. Francis de Sales

      Rejoice in the Lord always.  I shall say it again: rejoice!  Let your kindness be known to all.  The Lord is near.  Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, make your requests known to God.  Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  (Phil 4:4-7)

     The peace coming from the Holy Spirit is more than relief from suffering, a sense of well-being, or a sense of equanimity.  It is rooted in a deep sense of home, home amid the cosmos (which we of faith know is being at home with God).

         Fr Robert Spitzer SJ. From CHRIST VS SATAN IN OUR DAILY LIVES

       Driving to Minneapolis, I was listening to the audio book by Catherine Doherty, STRANNIK, or Pilgrimage – the Call to the Pilgrimage of the Heart. One part of her “little mandate,” the words given to her by Jesus about her life’s mission, were: “Go without fears into the depths of men’s hearts.”  In the book she speaks of this journey into men’s hearts, where our feet may become bruised and bloody.  The interior of the heart is often strewn with sharp stones and jagged pebbles, and to walk there injures us as we listen to the pain of their life struggles.

      This brought to mind the movie FOR GREATER GLORY, the story of the persecution of the Catholic faith in Mexico in the early 1900’s.  A young boy, Jose Sanchez del Rio, is moved to give his life to Christ, prompted in part by his witnessing the martyred death of his parish priest.  When Jose tries to warn the priest to flee an imminent assault, the elderly priest tells the boy there can be no greater glory than to give one’s life for Christ.  Soldiers come and shoot the priest, and the boy goes to join the Cristeros, a peasant up-rising resisting the government’s persecution of the Church.  Too young to carry a rifle, Jose helps however he can, until he is captured by the government forces.  His father begs him to just deny Christ, to save his life, but Jose stands firm in his faith, and is consequently tortured and killed.  Part of his torture includes the cutting of his feet, and the scene showing him staggering to his open grave, his tortured feet bleeding and broken, is a powerful witness to his courage and faith.  The story is a true one, and the boy Jose is one of the child saints of Mexico, beatified on November 20, 2005.

   This story spoke to me especially because of the witness of Bp Joseph Madera, our spiritual leader for a pilgrimage trip to Mexico.  Bp Madera, 85 years old when I met him on pilgrimage, lived in Mexico through this time of persecution, and spoke of his personal experience of the cruelties inflicted on those who were remaining faithful to the Church.  He too spoke of the bleeding feet, as a particular frequent means of torture.

     Reverend Richard Wurmbrand, a Lutheran pastor who wrote TORTURED FOR CHRIST, is another witness to this form of persecution.  Living in Communist Russia, he was arrested and spent many years in Soviet prisons, where his own feet were brutally beaten.  When he was released after many years of confinement, he could no longer stand or walk without great effort and pain due to the tortures.  He came to the United States and shared his story of Soviet persecution of Christians, founding the VOICE OF THE MARTYRS, which is active today calling for awareness, prayer and help for persecuted Christians around the world.

      It was with all of these stories of bleeding feet and persecution stored in my mind that I was meditating on the washing of the feet by Jesus on the night before His crucifixion.  As I saw Him in my imagination with His disciples, the image changed; I was sitting in a chair, and the Lord was kneeling before me.   And my own feet were all bruised and bleeding.  With great care and tenderness, the Lord began to gently wash and bandage my feet.  All of us who strive to stand firm for Christ, and to walk with Him, find our feet bruised to a greater or lesser extent.  Life’s struggles and the wounds we incur are part of the human journey, or pilgrimage.

     This brings me back to the beginning of this reflection, and the book STRANNIK. 

Listening to the pain in the depths of men’s hearts is a call, and a gift.  By listening with compassion and love, we allow Christ’s healing grace to enter in to those areas of pain

and brokenness.  We don’t keep that pain within ourselves, but release it to the Lord, to be united with His sacrifice on the Cross.  This brings the freedom He desires for us; freedom to love Him and to love one another. 

      The call I associate with this gift of listening is the call I received to become a spiritual director.  Knowing we stand on holy ground when we listen to another’s heart, to walk so gently there and be an instrument of God’s healing grace for another, is a ministry sorely needed in the church today.  For those given the desire to draw closer to the Lord through prayer and reflection, having someone to listen with their heart in a safe and trusting relationship is a great help for the journey.  St. Therese Couderc, the Saint who appeared in the chapel at Our Lady of Divine Providence, was a quiet and humble soul whom the Lord sent to bring the Ignatian spiritual exercises to the Cenacle where I received training to become a spiritual director.  A quotation from this Saint hangs on the wall of the House of Prayer at the Cenacle, and states:  “What does it matter if my bare and cut feet fill my sabots with blood; I would willingly begin my journey again, I have found God so completely.”  

     So many thoughts about feet!  I can see them skipping across the crests of the waves, being washed in the waters of mercy…  and igniting sparks of glory!  I recently heard a program presenter speaking about discipleship, and he explained how a disciple must stay so very close to Jesus that as He walks, the dust from His feet comes to settle on his followers.  This thought re-surfaced in my prayer time when the word “walk” stood out for me, and I began to visualize myself following Jesus closely, with the dust rising from His footprints and coming to land on me.  Only the dust was being transformed into glory sparkles!  I pictured us heading toward the Cross, with the radiant sun rising behind it, and I was following exactly in Jesus’ footprints. And then I noticed that the footprints were blood- stained…  Blood and sparkles, suffering and glory ~ all on the road to the Resurrection.  When we stay so very close to Jesus, He gives us the grace to walk in the suffering, and the glory begins to appear even as we travel the path together…

     In Mexico we visited the church which is home to the “Poison Crucifix.”  The story related to us there was of a priest who had great devotion to Christ, and would often kiss His feet on the crucifix before he went home for the day.  There was a man who hated this priest, and wished him dead; he watched the priest daily kissing Jesus’ feet on the crucifix, and fixed on a plan to kill him.  He took some deadly poison and applied it to the feet of the crucifix, knowing that it’s potency would be enough to kill anyone touching their lips to the wood. The next day, the priest as was his custom came to kiss the feet before leaving for the night, and as he did so, the legs drew upward and the entire corpus turned black.  Christ had absorbed the poison, and the priest was unharmed.  His would-be assassin came to confession, where he was forgiven and converted; the now black crucifix stands today as a sign of Christ’s power and healing.

      I don’t remember when I first started kissing the feet of the crucifix I have hanging on the wall by my front door, but it’s become a devotion that brings me blessing and helps to keep me centered as I leave the apartment each day.  Perhaps the story of the poison crucifix was the catalyst as it touched my heart on our pilgrimage.  It also ties in with an experience related by Liz Kelly in one of her talks for her book study JESUS APPROACHES.  

     Liz related how when leaving Adoration, she would often quietly blow a kiss to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.  It was a small and private gesture, an intimate sign of her love for the Lord. Then on a retreat with Fr Zlatko Sudac it took on more meaning; as I recall, Liz related that they were having a time of Adoration and Fr Sudac was exiting after exposing the Blessed Sacrament, when he looked directly at Liz, and quietly blew her a kiss.  She was taken aback, both surprised and delighted, and afterwards Liz asked one of the group leaders if they had ever seen Fr do that before.  The leader responded that she had seen it too, and it was a first!

      Hearing this story, I thought of my quiet kiss for Jesus’ feet as I leave my apartment, and mused about Him kissing my own feet, which seemed very unlikely.  Then I recalled last Holy Thursday, when I had been asked to be one of the people who would have their feet washed by our pastor, Fr Luke.  We each sat on an interior aisle seat, and Fr made his way down the center, washing and, yes, placing a simple kiss on our foot.  I remember so clearly being surprised at this ( we didn’t know he was going to do this) and especially looking into his eyes after he had kissed my foot.  It was the closest I’ve ever come to seeing Jesus face to face, and brings my heart blessing when I recall it. The Lord had returned my simple apartment gesture through this holy priest, who was indeed that day in persona Christi for me.  The Lord knows our hearts – He knows my heart – and He showed me His own heart through this moment of grace.

       That’s enough foot thoughts for now; mine need a rest 🙂  I’m always amazed at how so many independent experiences can be woven together to form a bigger picture – always of God’s personal and intimate knowledge of us, and giving us just what we need to grow in faith and trust in Him…

      Lord God, grant us the grace to walk on the sharp stones of pain within others’ hearts, unafraid and without counting the cost, knowing that Your gentle hands will bring healing and wholeness to both of us on this pilgrimage to the Father’s House.  Saint Mother Couderc, pray for us…

Ps 16:5 ~ Safe  (7/14/96)

     The TV news was full of the airplane crash in Bosnia that had claimed the lives of US government officials and service people who were on an economic aid mission to help the people of the war-torn country.  Among those killed in the crash was my cousin Charlie, and it was in the course of responding to this tragedy that the concept of safety began to unfold in a different light for me.

     Searching for words to write just the right thing in condolence to our cousins, my mother called me looking for an adjective to describe faith.  She wanted to share with her nieces and nephews the depth and quality of faith that has sustained our family throughout its moments of tragedy.  Looking for the right words to express the kind of faith she knew in her heart, we tossed a few adjectives around, but didn’t arrive at the one she wanted, so we agreed to keep thinking about it and re-connect later.

     After an hour, the phone range and mom, with a note of satisfaction in her voice, related that she had found the adjective she had been searching for – it was “secure!”  “Secure faith” was just what she wanted to express!. The smile that instantly appeared on my face reflected my delight at another reminder of God’s hand at work – another “coincidence!”  In the last few weeks the kids and I had begun a game of putting Biblical quotations on a chalk board – the one I had picked for that morning was Psalm 16:5 – “Lord, you have made my destiny secure!” Secure – what a great word to describe faith!  I had picked the verse because of the thought of destiny, thinking about Charlie and his journey into eternity.  Mom and I both grinned at having arrived at the same word, and my grin expanded even more when I went to a Christian musical performance that evening and heard for the first time a song whose refrain included the phrase “our faith secure,” another affirmation of the rightness of the work choice.

     When I came home from the musical that night, I pulled out the dictionary and looked up our adjective, “secure,” and these are the definitions listed: “1) free from fear, care, doubt or anxiety; not worried, troubled or apprehensive. 2) free from danger; not exposed to damage, attack, etc; safe.  3) in safekeeping or custody. 4) not likely to fall or to give way; firm; strong; stable. 5) sure; certain  to be relied upon.”  What a great word!  And to couple that adjective with “faith” made it a real powerhouse!

     The word “secure” came to my mind often through the next few weeks, and especially coupled with the definition “safe” – they really spoke to me of the assurance of God’s presence.  It was after another tragedy that this sequence moved to a deeper level for me ~

     A young boy in our community had been hit by a train and lost both of his legs.  He was a member of our parish, and our whole small community was rocked at the tragedy and responded with messages of support and aid.  At the closing liturgy for our Catholic grade school, Fr. Len prayed for safety for all our kids this summer – the train accident was on his mind as on everyone else’s, and we prayed that no more tragedies would occur during the summer vacation.  Less than a week after the close of school, another family suffered a deep loss.  An eighth grade boy drowned in the rain swollen waters of the Wolf River.  At the funeral liturgy, Fr. Len expressed our collective grief, and his own feeling of personal loss at the death of a boy he knew well.  He spoke of how fragile life is, how greatly we need to cherish it, and his words echoed in everyone’s hearts.  He also spoke of the boy’s faith – it was a real faith, and Fr. Len expressed assurance that Bret knew his Lord and was with Christ.

     What had happened to our prayers for safety?  How could another tragedy happen so soon, especially after our hearts had been so lifted to the Lord for our children?  The connection with the secure faith my mother had been describing and the definition that included safety came to mind more and more.  For me the transition to safety in Christ became evident – surely there is not and cannot be any true measure of physical safety in this fragile world we live in; the only true safety is in the assurance of faith in Christ – in having our being entrusted to His Heart and abiding in Him.  My humanity longs for the tangible physical well-being of those I love – my spirit knows their actual wholeness rests in Christ.  Only when we have given our hearts to Him, and trust in His mercy, will we ever really be safe! 

     Ou lives here on this earth are so short, and so very fragile – a single instant transforms vibrant health to death – how can we possibly live in security unless we are grounded in Christ?  The words of St. Paul echo in my thoughts – “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor height, not depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  (Rom 8:38-39).

 I thank the Lord for His gift of secure faith!

Luke 15:31b. “everything I have is yours…”                                             10/24/19

     Reflecting on the parable of the Prodigal Son, the phrase that resonated with me this day was “everything I have is yours…”. I’ve always been struck by the magnanimity of God’s generosity, by the super abundance of what he desires to give to us.  My Bible is often highlighted at the words of superlatives, as I see more and more His desire to offer so lavishly from His treasures, while we so often settle for such a pittance, not expecting bounty.

     CS Lewis writes, “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” And sometimes we’re not pleased with the little either…

     This brings me to a homily shared from his personal treasure store by our pastor, Fr Luke.  He recalled a time of healing he received in the course of a directed retreat.  As I remember it, the director was asking him about the up-coming Christmas celebrations, and Fr Luke responded that he always had a bit of a cloud over those celebrations.  He shared that as a young boy in a large family, each child usually received one special large present and perhaps a few smaller ones.  When it came his turn to open what he thought would be his much anticipated special gift, it turned out to be some mittens.  He tried not to betray his disappointment, but it left him with a feeling of deep disappointment and of being overlooked and forgotten.  His parents immediately realized they had actually forgotten his special gift, and made a hasty trip to buy him something special, but the wound had been created and remained with him even to this time of the retreat.  The director suggested he take this to prayer, and ask the Lord where He was in this moment in time, as He was there, even though not in Luke’s awareness at the time.

     Fr Luke came to prayer and returned to this memory, asking the Lord to reveal His truth in the situation.  He envisioned the moment, and this time saw his older brother coming to comfort him and to assure him that indeed Luke could share and play with all of his brother’s toys, as indeed “everything I have is yours…”. The pain of the disappointment vanished as Fr Luke recognized Christ in His brother, offering all the treasures of the Father’s house to Luke.

Christmas celebrations became no longer a source of sadness and deprivation, but rather an assurance of God’s Goodness and abundant provision, of comfort and of love.

     This recollection often brings tears to my eyes, even today when I related it to a friend.  The sense of God’s desire to bless me abundantly is revealed to me over and over again as I experience His Goodness in day to day living, and fills my heart with gratitude!  Yesterday He surprised me as I came from out of town to a conference of about 1000 people and walked in right next to a good pastor I’ve known for 20 years and had been hoping to see, and led me to a table where I turned around and found 8 ladies from a prayer group that were all so dear to my heart.  Hugs and smiles and joy flowed as we were all so delighted at the unexpected meeting!  Eph 3:20 comes to mind, “Now to him who is able to accomplish more than all we ask or imagine…”.

     Lord God, thank You for the abundance of Your Goodness and Grace! May my capacity of expectant faith continue to grow as I experience Your Goodness overflowing, again and again. May I be ever grateful for Your desire to bless us in so many varied ways, even outside of time as You bring restoration and healing to our hearts…

New Name ~ I know where I came from and where I am going….   John 8:14

     “I know where I came from and I know where I’m going…”

      Jesus was speaking of Himself as He spoke these words, and as I repeated them in prayer they echoed my own awareness of where I have come from and where I’m headed.  Born in the flesh of Edward and Marjory Fellman, I was re-born in baptism as a child of God the Father, with Jesus Christ my brother, my Savior, my Lord.  Receiving the baptism in the Holy Spirit when I was 46 was another re-birth, a deeper conversion experience as the life of Jesus became alive in me in a profoundly new way.

     As in the life of every Christian, my journey has often led to the Cross, and through the Cross to new life and the hope of heaven and union with God.  One cannot live this life without trials, and what a blessing to be given the grace to embrace suffering as gift, having value of eternal proportions when united with Christ’s own suffering and death.  

     The new relationship with God is often expressed in Scripture with a change in name: Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah,  Simon to Peter, Saul to Paul…  the words of the song “I will cha nge your name” by DJ Butler speak to my heart and bring me great joy!  “You shall no longer be called, Wounded, Outcast, Lonely and Afraid,”  but rather “Confidence, Joyfulness, Overcoming one…Faithfulness, Friend of God, One who seeks My face…”  Indeed God has changed my name!  The enemy would have me live in the labels of reproach and self-condemnation, while God in His mercy has lifted me from those lies and confirmed my true identity as His precious child, His beloved daughter.

     Our culture is immersed in confusion about personal identity, and often living in those names of Loneliness and Fear.  I thank God for revealing to us through His Word the reality of where we have come from, and the promise of where we are headed, giving us beautiful new names as we follow Him and remain faithful to His commandments.

     Lord God, thank you for the gift of Baptism, in water and fire!  Thank you for re-creating us as your precious children, with the promise of eternal Life!  Grant us the grace to remain faithful to Your commandments, and live the new names You have given to us…

Nehemiah 8:10                         July 1995 

     As I’ve become more aware of the Lord’s hand in every detail of our lives, each day brings promises of surprises that are often new lessons to be learned. With this in mind, I had been eagerly watching the mailbox for the license plates to arrive for our new van – I knew the letters and numbers the Lord would put there would not be random, but rather a secret message from the Lord for us to unravel! The day arrived and as the plates were removed from their envelope, the combination PBX300 was revealed – now to decipher the code. 

     The first part, PBX, jumped out at me instantly – X Christ, from the Greek letter X, or Chi – Christos – the Anointed One. PB offered two possibilities – Praise Be to Christ was the first one that offered itself, especially as we’ve become so aware of the priority of Praise as a foundation of our faith. The second option of course is Peanut Butter, and this was an even more personal message – the mainstay of our lunch for years has been PBJs, so peanut butter and Christ is even more logical – to keep Christ in the very center of our lives, right in the common and ordinariness of lunch. This was a message I often needed to remember, that to find our Lord we need go no farther than the kitchen, and among the most mundane elements of our living – the sacred in the homeliness of our everyday existence. Sometimes I forget and want to run out to find the Lord in all those mountain top experiences, when in reality He remains so very much present right in the humdrum of our lives. 

     Considering the idea of peanut butter and Christ presents a very important lesson too – Humor! I can’t look at the plate without smiling, thinking how silly it would appear to many to hear this “code de- ciphering” – and to me too – it brings a smile to my lips whenever I think of it, and a lightness to my heart, and another reminder to take myself less seriously, yet to seriously keep the Lord at the center of our lives! 

The number 300 offered extra options too – the first focusing on the number 3, for the Trinity! and the 00 are the eyes of the Holy Spirit – for the last two years a prayer to the Holy Spirit has held a special place in my daily devotions, as I’ve sought to enter into an ever deeper surrender to the Lord – what a neat thought that His eyes are on us all the time, and watching before us and behind us to keep us safe from harm, and give us direction! This puts another smile in my heart too – to imagine the two eyes in the license plate – I like to think the Lord’s eyes would have a twinkle in them at the thought also!

     The second option for the 300 came from a journal entry from Catherine Marshall’s book, A CLOSER WALK, which I had only discovered a few days after the plates had arrived. She was writing about the story of Gideon, how he felt himself so incapable of accomplishing the task the Lord had set before him – and indeed by his own power he was incapable – but the Lord assured him that He, the Lord, would provide all that was needed. Gideon needed only to trust, and obey. When Gideon had assembled the forces to do battle as the Lord had commanded, God told him he had too many men – he had 22,000 – they might think they accomplished the victory in their own power instead of by the power of the Lord, so God told him to keep only 300 men – 300! – to prove that it was indeed the Lord’s power that had wrought the victory, and not Gideon’s! What a reminder of humility – to always remember that any victory, or good, achieved through me comes from the power of the Lord within me, and never of myself alone. And that power for good is available to a surrendered life to achieve that which the Lord desires, for His Glory! Who would have thought how much the Lord could show me through those “random” license plate letters and numbers ? Each time I jump in the van, and it is indeed often, I am reminded of the very real Presence of Christ right with me, wherever I go, the desire to praise Him in all things, the Holy Spirit teaching and guiding me, and to constantly seek to trust and obey the Lord in all that I do, knowing that it is His power and HIs alone that accomplishes good. And all of this is wrapped in the wonderful lightness of humor, to help me keep the proper perspective on my life and endeavors, knowing that the Joy of the Lord is my strength! (Neh 8:10) I wonder what surprise the Lord has in store for us tomorrow? 

Blessed Mother, Help me!                                                 June 9, 2021

     At coffee after Mass  today I was blessed to hear two stories of God’s Providence in the life of my friend, Mary.  Her refrain in times of trial has been “Blessed Mother, help me!” And indeed help arrived in most unexpected ways!

     Story one goes back to the days of driving the kids to their hockey games.  It was a cold blustery winter night in Minnesota, and Mary arrived in the parking lot with the kids and all their gear to attend a game.  Hurrying to unload all the gear and get in out of the cold, she locked the car and they headed inside.  After the game, on returning to the now almost empty parking lot, she looked in her purse for the car keys and couldn’t find them, only to discover that she had left the car locked and running with the keys still inside!  What to do?!!!  

    Her first response was “Blessed Mother, help me!”  This was before cell phones, so no easy way to call for earthly help 🙂 Just at this moment, a car almost identical to her own pulled up to park alongside of her, although there were many other empty spots in the lot.  As the driver was getting out, her friend suggested she ask the driver if he might try his key in her own car to see if it would work.  And behold!  It did!  He opened her door with his key, they all piled in and gratefully found their way home that night ~ what are the odds of a car pulling up just at that moment, with a key that was able to unlock her own car?  Thank you, Blessed Mother, for hearing and answering, and so quickly!

     Story two took place at their cabin on Borden Lake.  Mary’s niece had dropped them off on her way farther North, so they had no car of their own with them.  The radio was issuing tornado warnings, and Mary was aware of the wind getting stronger until it sounded like a freight train, and the sky had turned a scary green.  Where to go?  There was no basement at the cabin, and Mary was thinking of crawling under the mattress, when again she lifted her heart and called out “Blessed Mother, help me!”  She looked out the window, and saw what looked like a water spout traveling across in front of the cabin, followed by a second, and then a third one, after which the sun came out and the storm passed.  

     As they were breathing a sigh of relief, a neighbor appeared and was relieved to find that they were all ok.  He lived across on the other side of the lake, and had watched as three tornado spouts had traveled directly toward my friend’s cabin.  There was an island between his cabin and theirs, so he had been unable to actually see their cabin, and he was afraid of what he might find.  What a relief to find them all safe and sound!

     Checking the damage afterwards, it was discovered that the island itself had been heavily damaged by the tornadoes, and the nearby town of Garrison was almost leveled.  Yet Mary had been able to look outside the cabin window and see all three spouts pass by right in front of her without any harm being done!  Thank you again, Blessed Mother!

     Remember O Most Gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it said, that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided…. May my friend Mary’s stories be an inspiration and encouragement for all of us to call on the Blessed Mother for help, with confidence in the mighty power of her intercession for her children who trust in her love and care!