Author: Ann Radtke

Luke 15:31b. “everything I have is yours…”                                             10/24/19

     Reflecting on the parable of the Prodigal Son, the phrase that resonated with me this day was “everything I have is yours…”. I’ve always been struck by the magnanimity of God’s generosity, by the super abundance of what he desires to give to us.  My Bible is often highlighted at the words of superlatives, as I see more and more His desire to offer so lavishly from His treasures, while we so often settle for such a pittance, not expecting bounty.

     CS Lewis writes, “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” And sometimes we’re not pleased with the little either…

     This brings me to a homily shared from his personal treasure store by our pastor, Fr Luke.  He recalled a time of healing he received in the course of a directed retreat.  As I remember it, the director was asking him about the up-coming Christmas celebrations, and Fr Luke responded that he always had a bit of a cloud over those celebrations.  He shared that as a young boy in a large family, each child usually received one special large present and perhaps a few smaller ones.  When it came his turn to open what he thought would be his much anticipated special gift, it turned out to be some mittens.  He tried not to betray his disappointment, but it left him with a feeling of deep disappointment and of being overlooked and forgotten.  His parents immediately realized they had actually forgotten his special gift, and made a hasty trip to buy him something special, but the wound had been created and remained with him even to this time of the retreat.  The director suggested he take this to prayer, and ask the Lord where He was in this moment in time, as He was there, even though not in Luke’s awareness at the time.

     Fr Luke came to prayer and returned to this memory, asking the Lord to reveal His truth in the situation.  He envisioned the moment, and this time saw his older brother coming to comfort him and to assure him that indeed Luke could share and play with all of his brother’s toys, as indeed “everything I have is yours…”. The pain of the disappointment vanished as Fr Luke recognized Christ in His brother, offering all the treasures of the Father’s house to Luke.

Christmas celebrations became no longer a source of sadness and deprivation, but rather an assurance of God’s Goodness and abundant provision, of comfort and of love.

     This recollection often brings tears to my eyes, even today when I related it to a friend.  The sense of God’s desire to bless me abundantly is revealed to me over and over again as I experience His Goodness in day to day living, and fills my heart with gratitude!  Yesterday He surprised me as I came from out of town to a conference of about 1000 people and walked in right next to a good pastor I’ve known for 20 years and had been hoping to see, and led me to a table where I turned around and found 8 ladies from a prayer group that were all so dear to my heart.  Hugs and smiles and joy flowed as we were all so delighted at the unexpected meeting!  Eph 3:20 comes to mind, “Now to him who is able to accomplish more than all we ask or imagine…”.

     Lord God, thank You for the abundance of Your Goodness and Grace! May my capacity of expectant faith continue to grow as I experience Your Goodness overflowing, again and again. May I be ever grateful for Your desire to bless us in so many varied ways, even outside of time as You bring restoration and healing to our hearts…

New Name ~ I know where I came from and where I am going….   John 8:14

     “I know where I came from and I know where I’m going…”

      Jesus was speaking of Himself as He spoke these words, and as I repeated them in prayer they echoed my own awareness of where I have come from and where I’m headed.  Born in the flesh of Edward and Marjory Fellman, I was re-born in baptism as a child of God the Father, with Jesus Christ my brother, my Savior, my Lord.  Receiving the baptism in the Holy Spirit when I was 46 was another re-birth, a deeper conversion experience as the life of Jesus became alive in me in a profoundly new way.

     As in the life of every Christian, my journey has often led to the Cross, and through the Cross to new life and the hope of heaven and union with God.  One cannot live this life without trials, and what a blessing to be given the grace to embrace suffering as gift, having value of eternal proportions when united with Christ’s own suffering and death.  

     The new relationship with God is often expressed in Scripture with a change in name: Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah,  Simon to Peter, Saul to Paul…  the words of the song “I will cha nge your name” by DJ Butler speak to my heart and bring me great joy!  “You shall no longer be called, Wounded, Outcast, Lonely and Afraid,”  but rather “Confidence, Joyfulness, Overcoming one…Faithfulness, Friend of God, One who seeks My face…”  Indeed God has changed my name!  The enemy would have me live in the labels of reproach and self-condemnation, while God in His mercy has lifted me from those lies and confirmed my true identity as His precious child, His beloved daughter.

     Our culture is immersed in confusion about personal identity, and often living in those names of Loneliness and Fear.  I thank God for revealing to us through His Word the reality of where we have come from, and the promise of where we are headed, giving us beautiful new names as we follow Him and remain faithful to His commandments.

     Lord God, thank you for the gift of Baptism, in water and fire!  Thank you for re-creating us as your precious children, with the promise of eternal Life!  Grant us the grace to remain faithful to Your commandments, and live the new names You have given to us…

Nehemiah 8:10                         July 1995 

     As I’ve become more aware of the Lord’s hand in every detail of our lives, each day brings promises of surprises that are often new lessons to be learned. With this in mind, I had been eagerly watching the mailbox for the license plates to arrive for our new van – I knew the letters and numbers the Lord would put there would not be random, but rather a secret message from the Lord for us to unravel! The day arrived and as the plates were removed from their envelope, the combination PBX300 was revealed – now to decipher the code. 

     The first part, PBX, jumped out at me instantly – X Christ, from the Greek letter X, or Chi – Christos – the Anointed One. PB offered two possibilities – Praise Be to Christ was the first one that offered itself, especially as we’ve become so aware of the priority of Praise as a foundation of our faith. The second option of course is Peanut Butter, and this was an even more personal message – the mainstay of our lunch for years has been PBJs, so peanut butter and Christ is even more logical – to keep Christ in the very center of our lives, right in the common and ordinariness of lunch. This was a message I often needed to remember, that to find our Lord we need go no farther than the kitchen, and among the most mundane elements of our living – the sacred in the homeliness of our everyday existence. Sometimes I forget and want to run out to find the Lord in all those mountain top experiences, when in reality He remains so very much present right in the humdrum of our lives. 

     Considering the idea of peanut butter and Christ presents a very important lesson too – Humor! I can’t look at the plate without smiling, thinking how silly it would appear to many to hear this “code de- ciphering” – and to me too – it brings a smile to my lips whenever I think of it, and a lightness to my heart, and another reminder to take myself less seriously, yet to seriously keep the Lord at the center of our lives! 

The number 300 offered extra options too – the first focusing on the number 3, for the Trinity! and the 00 are the eyes of the Holy Spirit – for the last two years a prayer to the Holy Spirit has held a special place in my daily devotions, as I’ve sought to enter into an ever deeper surrender to the Lord – what a neat thought that His eyes are on us all the time, and watching before us and behind us to keep us safe from harm, and give us direction! This puts another smile in my heart too – to imagine the two eyes in the license plate – I like to think the Lord’s eyes would have a twinkle in them at the thought also!

     The second option for the 300 came from a journal entry from Catherine Marshall’s book, A CLOSER WALK, which I had only discovered a few days after the plates had arrived. She was writing about the story of Gideon, how he felt himself so incapable of accomplishing the task the Lord had set before him – and indeed by his own power he was incapable – but the Lord assured him that He, the Lord, would provide all that was needed. Gideon needed only to trust, and obey. When Gideon had assembled the forces to do battle as the Lord had commanded, God told him he had too many men – he had 22,000 – they might think they accomplished the victory in their own power instead of by the power of the Lord, so God told him to keep only 300 men – 300! – to prove that it was indeed the Lord’s power that had wrought the victory, and not Gideon’s! What a reminder of humility – to always remember that any victory, or good, achieved through me comes from the power of the Lord within me, and never of myself alone. And that power for good is available to a surrendered life to achieve that which the Lord desires, for His Glory! Who would have thought how much the Lord could show me through those “random” license plate letters and numbers ? Each time I jump in the van, and it is indeed often, I am reminded of the very real Presence of Christ right with me, wherever I go, the desire to praise Him in all things, the Holy Spirit teaching and guiding me, and to constantly seek to trust and obey the Lord in all that I do, knowing that it is His power and HIs alone that accomplishes good. And all of this is wrapped in the wonderful lightness of humor, to help me keep the proper perspective on my life and endeavors, knowing that the Joy of the Lord is my strength! (Neh 8:10) I wonder what surprise the Lord has in store for us tomorrow? 

Blessed Mother, Help me!                                                 June 9, 2021

     At coffee after Mass  today I was blessed to hear two stories of God’s Providence in the life of my friend, Mary.  Her refrain in times of trial has been “Blessed Mother, help me!” And indeed help arrived in most unexpected ways!

     Story one goes back to the days of driving the kids to their hockey games.  It was a cold blustery winter night in Minnesota, and Mary arrived in the parking lot with the kids and all their gear to attend a game.  Hurrying to unload all the gear and get in out of the cold, she locked the car and they headed inside.  After the game, on returning to the now almost empty parking lot, she looked in her purse for the car keys and couldn’t find them, only to discover that she had left the car locked and running with the keys still inside!  What to do?!!!  

    Her first response was “Blessed Mother, help me!”  This was before cell phones, so no easy way to call for earthly help 🙂 Just at this moment, a car almost identical to her own pulled up to park alongside of her, although there were many other empty spots in the lot.  As the driver was getting out, her friend suggested she ask the driver if he might try his key in her own car to see if it would work.  And behold!  It did!  He opened her door with his key, they all piled in and gratefully found their way home that night ~ what are the odds of a car pulling up just at that moment, with a key that was able to unlock her own car?  Thank you, Blessed Mother, for hearing and answering, and so quickly!

     Story two took place at their cabin on Borden Lake.  Mary’s niece had dropped them off on her way farther North, so they had no car of their own with them.  The radio was issuing tornado warnings, and Mary was aware of the wind getting stronger until it sounded like a freight train, and the sky had turned a scary green.  Where to go?  There was no basement at the cabin, and Mary was thinking of crawling under the mattress, when again she lifted her heart and called out “Blessed Mother, help me!”  She looked out the window, and saw what looked like a water spout traveling across in front of the cabin, followed by a second, and then a third one, after which the sun came out and the storm passed.  

     As they were breathing a sigh of relief, a neighbor appeared and was relieved to find that they were all ok.  He lived across on the other side of the lake, and had watched as three tornado spouts had traveled directly toward my friend’s cabin.  There was an island between his cabin and theirs, so he had been unable to actually see their cabin, and he was afraid of what he might find.  What a relief to find them all safe and sound!

     Checking the damage afterwards, it was discovered that the island itself had been heavily damaged by the tornadoes, and the nearby town of Garrison was almost leveled.  Yet Mary had been able to look outside the cabin window and see all three spouts pass by right in front of her without any harm being done!  Thank you again, Blessed Mother!

     Remember O Most Gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it said, that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession, was left unaided…. May my friend Mary’s stories be an inspiration and encouragement for all of us to call on the Blessed Mother for help, with confidence in the mighty power of her intercession for her children who trust in her love and care!