Author: Ann Radtke

Galatians 4:6.    “Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, the Spirit Who calls out ‘Abba, Father.’”

     How blessed I have been to have had a good father who loved me and took good care of me!  Not perfect of course, as no human father can be, but I knew that he loved me and would be there for me whenever I needed help.  Three specific memories of my Dad come to mind that have helped me to grow in confidence in my relationship with God the Father.  I’ll begin with one that reminds me of God’s guidance through the journey of life ~

     When I reached 16 and began having some travel adventures on my own, Dad took care to offer very specific and detailed directions for any up-coming trip.  They always included plan B, and plan C, in the event of unexpected complications that might affect the original route.  I remember one in particular when I was to make my first solo plane trip.  The directions were lengthy, taking several pages, and included so many possible alternatives in case things went awry!  The best, however, came at the end of the epistle, when Dad left his phone number with the assurance that a call home at any time of the day or night would be received and help would be provided.

     Growing in my relationship and subsequent dependence on God the Father’s care and provision for me, I came to recognize His Word as those detailed instructions for navigation, always with the reminder that He is on call, 24/7, ready at every moment to hear and respond to my call for Help!My GPS may fail with mis-guided directions or internet disruption, but that turning to God always gets me back on the right track!  In remembering my Dad’s written directions, they’re saturated with his care and concern for my safety and well being; God’s directions come from the heart of the very best Father’s love for His daughter.

     Abundant generosity is the second attribute that comes to mind as I remember an almost comical shopping adventure with my mom and sis-in-law.  We would have a fun shopping day together once or twice a year, and mom would often treat us to some special item that caught our eye.

This particular trip was at a time when Dad had been gradually moving into the fog of Alzheimer’s memory loss.  He had always enjoyed giving gifts, and he would give my mom a special extra dollar amount beyond the usual budget for her shopping excursions.  On this occasion, mom was in a particularly happy mood, almost giddy, and was encouraging my sister-in-law and me to buy this and to buy that, and she would cheerfully pick up the tab for all of it.  The strain of caring for my Dad in these days was tremendously difficult, and we attributed her delight as a combination of relief at a day off from care-giving and the pain of slowly losing the one she loved to this disease.  We had a wonderful day together, our shopping bags loaded with goodies, and at the end of the day mom could no longer keep her secret: Dad had put an extra $10,000 dollars into her checking account!  This was in the 1950’s and that was a small fortune for us! We certainly didn’t spend it all, but it brought laughter and smiles at a time when that was so much needed for all of us.

     God the Father’s generosity is above and beyond all that we could ever ask for or imagine. (Eph 3:20) Whenever I come across that verse, the shopping trip comes to mind, and with it the joy it gave my own Dad to give an extravagant gift (although he probably didn’t realize how extravagant it was!).  It also warms my heart at the memory of the three of us, savoring a moment of closeness and merriment in the midst of a very difficult time of passage.  Gods’ own generosity can never be outdone, He truly delights in showering His children with abundant gifts and surprises!

     The third memory came just today, with a text from my daughter.  I had asked her to check a cabinet in my bedroom to look for something, and she spied a note from my Dad that I had tucked on the shelf.  It read, “My Darling, you are 16.  I love you. Dad.”  I had re-discovered that note among my memorabilia at a time when my relationship with God the Father was being deepened, and it so resonated with me that I kept it in a place where I saw it often.  Zeph 3:17 states that God delights in me, and rejoices over me with singing!  As the youngest of 4 children, with 3 older brothers, I was my Daddy’s Darling, and it has helped me to know the deeper love that God the Father has for me.  

     Father God, thank You for blessing me with my own good father, who helped to lead me to the knowledge of Your own Goodness and Love for me.  Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and may perpetual Light shine upon him.  May the soul of my Dad, and the souls of all the faithful departed, rest in peace…

Ezekiel 4:17 ff… Son of man, I have appointed you a sentinel for the house of Israel. When you hear a word from my mouth, you shall warn them for me. …if you do not warn them or speak out, I will hold you responsible for their blood…

Written April 7, 2022 at 4:30 AM after Adoration

To those close to my heart,

      This letter has been playing in my mind for many years.  Should I send it out now?  Should I share it at Christmas or Easter?  On a birthday, or special anniversary?  Leave it with my last will and testament? Or now, after the celebration of Easter and in anticipation of Divine Mercy Sunday April 24 …. I’ve been praying about this, and feel like the time is Now…

      I’ll keep it short  You all have received copies of reflections I’ve written over the years, and so you know where my heart is.  I love you all dearly, and most desire your happiness, in this life, but even more so in the life of the world to come.  My belief in God has only grown stronger through the years, and it’s in that belief, and in the conviction that I will be held accountable if I’m not really clear in sharing what the Lord has put on my heart to speak to you.  There really is a heaven, there really is a hell, and woe to me if I don’t warn you before it’s too late.

     Put simply, I pray that you will come to know that there is a good God, that He is the source of all that is good in this world, and that He has created you to be with Him for eternity.  He’s created you free to accept or reject Him.  There’s lots of factors that come into play here ~ but the bottom line is that each one of us is called to live a holy life and to be obedient to what the Lord commands. He doesn’t condemn us when we mess up or turn away; He keeps calling us right up to our last breath.  And at the hour of our own death, He is still willing to receive us in His mercy.  

     My prayer is that each one of you will turn to Him now, and not wait until that last hour when you meet Him face to face.  Will a lifetime of turning away prepare you to receive His love then?  I can only pray that at that moment, if you haven’t yet begun to live the Christian life, you will remember these words I’ve written, and know that He is a God of Mercy Who has been waiting for you all your life, and Who will receive you with mercy if You only ask Him.  I’ll be praying for you, for I long to meet you in Heaven!

     I’ve thanked God all my life for the gift He’s blessed me with to be your mother, and to have had the joy of spending time with each of you in this life.  I thank God for all the ways you live your lives in service to others, and how you’ve looked out for each other.  May we all be family again in the world to come.

With all my love, now and forever…. mom

Communion of Saints     Feb 6, 2017

      Before returning to the Cenacle to help out with the January session, I was re-reading the story written by Diane Brown about the beginning of the House of Prayer, published in “New Covenant” magazine.  One part that always caused me to pause was her recounting of the death of their son Graham in a boating accident.  He was only 15, and was being towed on an inner tube behind a boat, when the driver turned too close to the dock. Graham was slammed into a piling, and died instantly.  This tragedy became the hinge of Diane’s own conversion, and now almost 35 years later to the continuing expansion of the Marian Servants, the School of Spiritual Direction and Retreat Ministry.

      My reason for being drawn to this accident is the similarity it shares with an incident in our own family’s life.  Our son Steve, about 7 years old, was being towed on an inner tube behind a boat being driven by his dad, which also came too close to the dock and Steve was slammed into that dock.  He was wearing a life vest, and struck the dock square on his chest, actually hitting it so hard that the dock, set on wooden horses, was moved.  I was standing in the water close by, and quickly scooped him into my arms and prayed fervently in the spirit for him.  As it turned out, he only had the wind knocked out of him, and he suffered no serious injury.  Had he hit the dock any other way, he could easily have been killed or at least very badly injured. 

      These memories were often on my mind during the school session, and I thought if the opportunity presented itself, I would like to share this story with Diane.  The two weeks passed however with no convenient time to speak with her, so I had pretty much put the thought aside as we prepared for the closing graduation Mass.  During the Mass however, I began re-living that experience again, and my heart was moved to tears.  Somehow it became clear to me that in some hidden way there was a spiritual connection between the two accidents, and that Diane’s grief and sorrow, along with the prayers of her son, had somehow been instrumental in sparing Steve’s life.  This was a very strong impression, and it was reinforced by recalling other events of the school session.

     During one of the practice demonstration sessions, one of the students mentioned the communion of saints in regard to Ron’s passing. This struck a chord for many of us, and for me this was like another piece of my puzzle falling into place.  The communion of saints – interceding for us, and helping us on the journey.  Many saints have stated before their deaths that indeed they can be of more help to us from the other side – when their plan and purpose is accomplished here on earth, they can readily go to heaven to continue providing help and blessing for those remaining.

     I’m currently taking a class on the Catechism, and the required reading last night included a passage from Lumen Gentium 50 which focused again on the communion of saints, and specifically how we are especially united with them in the sacred liturgy.  It was during the Mass that I received this strong impression of spiritual connection. 

     It was also tied to the power and value of Diane’s deep grief, united with the Passion of Christ, that can provide precious grace to others.  John Cardinal O’Connor wrote a reflection on “Serving Through Suffering” that has always been meaningful for me.  He speaks of the pain we all experience as human beings, and of its incredible value when united with Christ on the Cross.  An excerpt reads, “when (Christ) was crying out, ‘My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?’ He was filling billions of hearts yet to come with comfort, with peace.  I unite a headache, a backache, a heartache with Christ on the Cross, and wondrous graces flow into the heart of a widow who has lost her only son in Nigeria…   My pain, trifling or overwhelming, has not gone wasted.”

      My thought is that somehow Diane’s pain, and Graham’s prayers, reached beyond time to touch our son Steve’s life.  Steve is 33 now, and has many struggles, and many gifts.  It’s always been on my heart that God has His hand on him in a special way, and my many prayers continue that he will come to know God’s love and fulfill the purpose he’s been designed for.  The gift of the experience of spiritual connection gives me renewed hope, gratitude and trust that God’s plan will come to fulfillment in Steve’s life.  Diane’s article closed with Romans 8:28, a very favorite verse of mine, as she wrote, “I have learned a great deal…  that all things – even tragic things – work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to his purposes.”  I don’t know how this story will continue to unfold, but I trust that the Good God is at work to accomplish His purposes, and I thank Him for the blessing of Diane’s yes that has brought so much healing, hope and grace!  The communion of saints, both living and dead, supporting and interceding for each other, is very much alive in the Marian Servant community, and I’m grateful to be an associate member of this community!

Psalm 51:12    A clean heart create for me O Lord…

     How often I used to kick myself for the foolish word spoken, for the proverbial foot in the mouth!  My intentions would be good, but the words just didn’t come out right.  One such incidence remains in my mind as a blessing, and has helped me stop the chain of regret…

     My husband’s uncle was dying of cancer, and I had been blessed to be assigned as his hospice volunteer.  We had a fond relationship, but not a close one, so I was grateful for the opportunity to see him more often than I would have had I not been a volunteer.  Uncle Clem was a very faithful Catholic, and spent much of his last days sitting quietly in his room praying the rosary.  I thankfully don’t even remember what it was that I said, but I do remember that as soon as I said it, I knew the words had been poorly chosen, and I would have liked to have been able to retract them.  It was time for me to leave however, and the opportunity was gone.  As I left the house, I consoled myself with the thought that when I saw him next, I would have a chance to set things right.

     That very night Clem died.  The blessing comes in that instead of lamenting my lost chance to correct my failure, now I knew that Clem knew my heart, and he would know the true intention of my words and would not be hurt by the way they came out. Previously I may have been haunted by my lost opportunity, and reminded of all the things I wish I had said, all the deeds I wish I had done, all the foolish errors I had made.  The enemy would have been delighted to continue to bring to mind all those “if only” memories!  God in His mercy gave me a different perspective, and how grateful I am!  Knowing that my intention had been good, and that Clem now knew this, brought a great sense of consolation and peace, as I truly loved him and had desired only to offer a blessing to him.

     I find two beautiful truths coming to me from this experience. One is the lesson about the importance of guarding my heart, with the desire that what dwells there is only to extend love and blessing to others.  I want my heart to be clean.  I know that the Lord knows my heart always; may He continue to convict me when the thoughts that dwell there are displeasing to Him, and exchange them for a purity of intention that I would never be ashamed to have exposed. 

     Knowing that my thoughts are not always as pure as I would hope them to be, the Lord also offers the beautiful gift of Reconciliation.  Again and again I’m reminded that we have a God of Redemption, Who can bring blessing from what the enemy would have promote evil.  Our pastor often reminds us that God always has the last word, and I take great comfort in that! I believe He can take my meager efforts and correct what I may have messed up, and supply what I may have failed to provide.  Every day, when I come to Him and review our time together, I can offer to Him those parts of the day where I recognize that I was off track, and not living within His will, as well as profound gratitude for the times when I was one with Him.  The Sacrament of Reconciliation provides the grace of peace knowing I’m forgiven when I bring these sins of omission or commission to the Lord.

     The second truth is in the reality of the communion of the saints!  By God’s grace I knew that when Clem had died, he would know the intention of my heart.  He would be able to see beyond the clumsy words, know the love which I had for him, and my desire to offer blessing with my words. The peace I experienced when this thought came to me gave me a sense of assurance that this was true, for I know the previous thoughts of self-condemnation and recrimination were not of God, but from the enemy.  The bottom line lesson I return to is the desire that my thoughts and intentions be pure and clean, leaving no room for shame at being caught in an act of unkindness. 

     I had received the lesson of Reconciliation from the book by Brother Lawrence, PRACTICING THE PRESENCE OF GOD. He shared how of course he often failed to live a faultless Christian life, but wasn’t surprised at that.  He knew his own weakness, and quickly turned to the Lord for forgiveness, and then went on his way, undisturbed by his weaknesses.  It’s the second lesson that I learned from the experience with Clem that was new and beautiful for me; that when one crosses the veil and begins life anew on the other side, there comes a clarity to know truth in relation to others.  How could I ever want anything other than a pure and clean heart?  “Breathe on me O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy…. “

Lord God, thank You for continually calling me to holiness, and for the desire to be purified in heart and mind.  May I grow in sensitivity to Your convicting grace, and cooperate fully with the gift of Reconciliation.  Thank You for Your mercy and patience in leading me closer to Your own Heart that knows me perfectly… 

     On my friend Muffy’s refrigerator one day I spied a new idea for a frig magnet – buttons!  What a great idea, I thought ~ my mom has a whole box of old buttons that I could use to make magnets, and they’d be fun to tack the photos on the frig with – so I sorted through her box of old buttons and began to assemble magnets.  As I did so, the following button thoughts began to come to mind… 

Panic button ~ when panic strikes, remember God’s provision for 

     peace: Phil 4:6-7 “Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by 

     prayer and petition, make your requests known to God.  Then the 

     peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your 

     hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

When someone pushes your buttons, hear God’s Voice saying,

     “Testing, testing…” and pray for patience and acceptance with

     joy!  Ps 37:9 “Give up your anger, abandon your wrath; do not be

     provoked; it brings only harm.”

Button, button, who’s got the button?  Pray for those who are lost ~

     Ezk 34:16. “The lost I will seek out, the strayed I will bring back…”

Button up your overcoat, when the wind is cold ~stay close to Jesus 

     and He’ll keep you warm!  Luke 12:49. “I have come to set the 

     earth on fire, and how I wish it were already blazing!”  And wrap 

     yourself in Mary’s Mantle of Love to discourage the enemy.

Missing buttons DIN ~ One of Mom’s favorite phrases meaning: “Do It

     Now!”  Ps 119:59-60. “I am prompt.  I do not hesitate in keeping 

     Your commands.”

Button up your lip and your mind if any unkind thought or word may

     enter and seek to be spoken.  Ps 19:15. “May the words of my 

     mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing and acceptable 

     in Thy sight.

Help! Button ~ always the best place to go to first when we need help… 

     Ps. 121:1-2. “I lift my eyes unto the hills, from where will my help 

     come?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth.”

Mute button ~ on the TV or radio or any of the noise in our lives ~

     Ps 46:11. “Be still and know that I am God.”

May this button on your frig remind you of God’s Goodness and Love,

     (Memory button?) and inspire many button thoughts of your own!

Adoration      Holy Family.  12/17/20. Thursday 2-3 PM

Fifteen minutes

     Here with You

         Started to doze

     So I’ll write a poem

Keeps me awake

     Taps into dialogue

          Mostly me talking

     Hope to hear You too

That calls for silence

     Quiet my thoughts

          But keep my eyes open

     I want to stay awake

Flickering light bulb

     Distraction or message?

          Nothing random

     It must have a meaning

Do I flicker too?

     Inconsistent attention

          Full of distractions

     Called back to the Host

You never flicker

     Steady constant Presence

          Exuding strength

     Solemn stability

Jesus Christ, the same

     Yesterday, today, tomorrow

          Past, present, future

     Unchanging Gift

Anchor of Hope

     Rock I can cling to

          Always present

     Secure refuge

Answer to my longing

     A safe place to be

          Snug in Your heart

     Protected and cherished

That’s what I’m hearing

     As I look to the monstrance

          Even were it gone

     Your image remains

Kept in my heart vault

     Hours of keeping watch

          Eyes fixed on the Host

     Eyes fixed on You

Vault of my heart

     Guarding this treasure

          Image of You

     Shadow of Reality

Time to wrap up now

     Once more to thank You

          Steady beacon of love

     Imprinted in memory

Can’t take this from me

     Should the whole earth

          Be shaken

     Shattered, destroyed

This gift of You present

     Will burn in my heart

          Not to be removed

     With me forever

Thank You Lord praise You!

     Ah! Light stopped flickering!

          Strong bright and steady

     How did that happen?

Resounding Amen

     Your stamp of approval

          Telling me somehow

     What I’ve written is True

Never an accident

     When I’m here with You

          I’ll store this moment

     In the vault of my heart…..

Name of Grace, Inheritance Scripture, Unilateral Forgiveness….     1/29/22

     In the School of Spiritual Direction we were encouraged to discover our Name of Grace in prayer.  This is the intimate name the Lord has given to each of us, which is a reflection of our identity in Him, and our personal vocation, or mission.  I received my Name, Peaceful River, during a Mass at the Cenacle. It just popped into my head, and it resonates with me, and is tied to a vision I had received in prayer previously.

     For ten years we lived in house on the river, and in my vision I saw myself floating down the river in an inner tube, just relaxing and enjoying the warm water and the glory of Creation that surrounded me.  Then I was prompted to dive down to the river bed, where I found small gold crosses.  They were heavy, but I gathered them and brought them to the surface, where they were very beautiful in the sunlight.

      The cross I was carrying at that time was the breakup of our marriage.   In a continuation of the river vision, when at the Shrine of Our Lady of Good Help I saw my gold wedding ring transformed into a small gold cross.  I had recently placed my wedding ring at an outdoor altar to Our Lady of Lourdes, as a sign of deeper surrender and total consecration to Jesus, uniting my pain and struggle with His own suffering and death. This new vision of my ring being transformed into a cross was bringing healing to my heart.  It was also helping me to move forward to a deeper forgiveness and blessing for my spouse, and for myself.

     During the recent healing session of the School, Janet mentioned the phrase “inheritance Scripture.”  I took this to mean a Scripture verse that is tied to our mission.  John 7:38 had come to my mind as she talked about this: “whoever believes in me, as scripture says, ‘rivers of living water will flow from within him.’”  This same verse was referenced later in her presentation, as she reminded us that we are all called to be vessels of living water, bringing God’s healing and grace to others.

     Reflecting on this today, with the thought of mission in mind, I remembered when at a retreat this past year the Lord was helping me to identity my mission as associated with the gift of unilateral forgiveness.  As a spiritual director, it is my desire to help my directees enter into the dynamics of unilateral forgiveness, and move toward embracing the reality that indeed “all things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” (Rom 8:28). Giving thanks in all circumstances, the good and the bad, has been a focus for me for many years after reading PRISON TO PRAISE by Merlin Carothers.  

     Tying all these threads together, I’m seeing my mission as being this vessel of living water, in the manner of the peaceful river, gently helping others to enter their own healing by bringing their crosses up from the depths of their inner being into the Sonlight where they can be transformed into blessings, united with the Cross of Christ.  My hope is that they will be able to be thankful for these crosses as they receive God’s healing and peace, and to see them as gifts to extend God’s grace in the  world.

     Pope Francis in a talk given on Dec 26, 2020 spoke of the power that was released when St Stephen offered forgiveness for those who were stoning him. In our world, Pope Frances says, it is normal to question “what good does it do” to pray and forgive others. Then he notes that it was St Paul who was present at St Stephen’s stoning, and he states, “Paul was born by God’s grace, but through Stephen’s forgiveness.  That was the seed of his conversion.”  He goes on to say that “loving actions change history: even ones that are small, hidden, everyday.”

     In our natural human nature, we often feel unable to forgive, or even to want to.  It is only by the power of the Holy Spirit that we are enabled to forgive deep hurts, and to even begin to see them as gifts for which to be thankful.

    Circle back to my inheritance Scripture, John 7:38. In verse 39, we read, “He (Jesus) said this in reference to the Spirit that those who came to believe in him were to receive.”  It is the Spirit Who is the “living water” that will flow from within us.  

     I’ll conclude here with a word that I received at the Cenacle that has remained with me.  It speaks of the power of Baptism, the power at work in the life of every Christian.  “Christian, know your dignity.  I anoint you and appoint you as agents of My mercy, to bring My peace and healing to a fearful and hurting world.  Arise, and go…”  Tying this all together with my Name of Grace, I recognize the call to be that Peaceful River, allowing the living waters of the Holy Spirit to work through me to lead others to unilateral forgiveness, and to live in accord with 2 These 5:18 ~ “In all circumstances, give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”

     Lord God, may I be true to the Name You have given me, and embrace the mission to bring Your peace and mercy to this fearful and hurting world.  May I always remain connected to the Source of Living Water, the Sacraments and Your Word. Immaculate Heart of Mary, Mother of God, Spouse of the Holy Spirit, be with me on this journey….  Hail Mary, full of grace…..

Peace – Oct. 6, 1998

     “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You.”  Isaiah  26:3

    Driving over to Casco to see Fr. Tom, the weather was pretty stormy – lots of rain, sometimes in torrents, and grey mist over the landscape.  Throughout the trip this verse repeated itself in my mind – at other points in time I would have been anxious and white-knuckled driving in difficult weather, but the Lord has been granting me a beautiful peace that has been spreading to more and more areas of my life.  It allows me to maintain a calm center in the midst of various trials, most of them minor, a few more dramatic.  Entering the church evoked another dimension of peace – a holy peace.  The church was warm and inviting, softly lit, quiet – empty of human activity – but filled with a perceptible Presence of God.  Fr.Tom would be coming over from the school in a moment, so I took the opportunity to light a vigil candle – the rows of candles were set in front of a beautiful statue of Jesus Who gazes down on those who kneel before Him.  His left hand is touching His Sacred Heart, exposed on His chest, and His right hand is raised in blessing.  The tunic that He wears is a warm red and gentle green – although painted, it seems like fabric – I could almost feel the softness of the material.  I lit the candle and knelt before my Lord – although the air in the church was still, the candles were flickering – except for the one I had just lit.  It burned steadily, not wavering at all, amidst the other dancing flames.  My heart felt like that – at peace and rest in the Lord.  A quote I had recently read stated, “Acquire interior peace, and many will find salvation near you,” attributed to St. Seraphim. That has been my prayer of late; to stay centered in the Lord and remain in His perfect peace.  My desire is to serve Him and to draw others to Him – perhaps my best witness is this beautiful peace.

     Elizabeth Eliot -”Teach me to treat all that comes to me with peace of soul and with firm conviction that Your will governs all. In unforeseen events, let me not forget that all are sent by You.”

     Mother Teresa – “The fruit of silence is prayer; the fruit of prayer is faith; the fruit of faith is love; the fruit of love is service; the fruit of service is peace.”

      Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity – O my God, Trinity whom I adore, help me to forget myself entirely so to establish myself in You, unmovable and peaceful as if my soul were already in eternity.  May nothing be able to trouble my peace or make me leave you, O my unchanging God, but may each minute bring me more deeply into your mystery!  Grant  my soul peace.  Make it your heaven, your beloved dwelling and the place of your rest.  May I never abandon you there, but may I be there, whole and entire, completely vigilant in my faith, entirely adoring, and wholly given over to your creative action.”

     2 Thess 3:16 – “May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.”

     John 14:27- “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give it to you.  Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.”

     Lord Jesus Christ, you said to your apostles: “I leave you peace, my peace I give to you.”  Look not on our sins, but on the faith of your Church, and grant us the peace and unity of your kingdom where you live forever and ever. Amen.

     “Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek, but a means by which we arrive at that goal.”  Martin Luther King, Jr.

     Isaiah 32:18 – “My people will live in peaceful country, in secure dwellings and quiet resting places.”

     “There is a way to peace, peace itself being the way.”  A. J. Muste (1885-1967)  Saints Book

     Teresa of Avila bookmark in her breviary – “Let nothing disturb you.  Let nothing frighten you. All is fleeting. God alone is unchanging.  Patience obtains everything. The one who possesses God lacks nothing. God alone suffices.”

     “Have no fear for what tomorrow may bring.  The same loving God who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. God will either shield you from suffering or give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.”  St. Francis de Sales

     June 22 – St. Thomas More in a letter to his daughter before being beheaded ~ “Nothing can come but what God wills. And I am sure that whatever that be, however bad it may seem, it shall indeed be the best.”

     July 23 – from GOD CALLING ~ “My children, that Peace does truly pass all understanding. That peace no man taketh from you.  No man has the power to disturb that Peace, but you yourselves can let the world and its worries and distraction in.

     You can give the entrance to fears and despondency. You can open the door to the robber who breaks in upon, and destroys, your peace.

     Set yourselves this task to allow nothing to disturb your peace, your heart calm, with Me.  Stop all work, stop all intercourse with others – until this is restored.   Do not let those about you spoil your peace of heart and mind. Do not let anyone without, any trouble, any irritation, any adversity, disturb it for one moment.

     Look on each difficulty as training to enable you to acquire that peace.  Every work, every interruption – set yourself to see that none of it troubles the harmony of the real you, that is hid with me in the Secret Place of the Father.

     Exodus 14:14 – “The Lord himself will fight for you; you only have only to keep still.”

     Isaiah 32:17- “And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.”

     from BEHOLD HE COMES by Fr. Benedict Groeschel – Jan 4 – St. Elizabeth Ann Seton trans. of A TREATISE OF INTERIOR PEACE by Fr. Ambrose de Lombez ~

“The love of God produces submission of our will to all the orders of his providence; and our submission preserves us in a holy tranquility amidst the most painful reverses, and an admirable equilibrium of mind through the greatest agitations and most cruel vicissitudes of life.”

     Isaiah 30:15 -”For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:  by waiting and by calm you will be saved, in quiet and in trust your strength lies…”

     One Bread One Body  1/17/02 – Fr. Al – “Don’t just do something; sit there.”

     Indira Ghandi – “You must learn to be still in the midst of activity, and to be vibrantly alive in repose.”

    John Greenleaf Whittier – ”drop thy still dews of quietness, till all our strivings cease;  take from our souls the strain and stress and let our ordered lives confess the beauty of thy peace.”

     Sufi prayer – from Bp. Morneau retreat 7/02

     O Divine One, to thee I raise my whole being,

     a vessel emptied of self,

    Accept, O gracious God, this my emptiness,

     so to fill me with thyself, – thy light, thy love, thy life, (thy laughter)

     that these thy precious gifts might radiate through me

     and overflow the chalice of my heart

     into the hearts of all those with whom I come in contact this day

     thus revealing unto them the beauty of thy joy and wholeness and the serenity of thy

           peace

     which nothing can destroy……      Amen

   “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well”         

    Julien of Norwich

Refrain from “How Can I Keep From Singing”

     No storm can shake my inmost calm, While to that rock I’m clinging.

     Since Love is Lord of heaven and earth, How can I keep from singing?

     Quaker hymn attr. to Robert Lowry  (1826-1899)

Father Jacques Philippe (French priest, member of the Beatitudes Community)

quoted in Magnificat Vol 17, No 3, May 2015  p..67-68

                               WHAT THE ADVOCATE WILL DO

     Often we cause ourselves to become agitated and disturbed by trying to resolve everything by ourselves, when it would be more efficacious to remain peacefully before the gaze of God and to allow him to act and to work in us with his wisdom and power, which are infinitely superior to ours…

      One of the dominant aspects of spiritual combat is the struggle on the plane of thoughts.  To struggle often means opposition between those thoughts that originate in our own spirit, or the mentality of our surroundings or even sometimes from the enemy himself (the origin of the thoughts is of little importance) and which cause us disquietude, fear, discouragement and, on the other hand, those thoughts that could comfort us and reestablish our peace.  In view of this combat, happy is the man who has filled his quiver (Ps 127) with arrows of good thoughts, that is to say, with solid convictions, based on faith, that nourish one’s intelligence and fortify one’s heart in times of trial.

      Among these arrows in a hero’s hand, one of the affirmations of faith that should permanently reside in us is that all the reasons that cause us to lose our sense of peace are bad reasons.

      This conviction is most certainly not founded on human considerations.  It can only be a certitude of faith, founded on the Word of God.  It does not reside in the reasoning of the world, as Jesus clearly told us: Peace I leave with you, my own peace I give you; a peace the world cannot give, this is my gift to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled or afraid…   (John 14:27)

     Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.  Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.

                                                                            St. Francis de Sales

      Rejoice in the Lord always.  I shall say it again: rejoice!  Let your kindness be known to all.  The Lord is near.  Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, make your requests known to God.  Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  (Phil 4:4-7)

     The peace coming from the Holy Spirit is more than relief from suffering, a sense of well-being, or a sense of equanimity.  It is rooted in a deep sense of home, home amid the cosmos (which we of faith know is being at home with God).

         Fr Robert Spitzer SJ. From CHRIST VS SATAN IN OUR DAILY LIVES

       Driving to Minneapolis, I was listening to the audio book by Catherine Doherty, STRANNIK, or Pilgrimage – the Call to the Pilgrimage of the Heart. One part of her “little mandate,” the words given to her by Jesus about her life’s mission, were: “Go without fears into the depths of men’s hearts.”  In the book she speaks of this journey into men’s hearts, where our feet may become bruised and bloody.  The interior of the heart is often strewn with sharp stones and jagged pebbles, and to walk there injures us as we listen to the pain of their life struggles.

      This brought to mind the movie FOR GREATER GLORY, the story of the persecution of the Catholic faith in Mexico in the early 1900’s.  A young boy, Jose Sanchez del Rio, is moved to give his life to Christ, prompted in part by his witnessing the martyred death of his parish priest.  When Jose tries to warn the priest to flee an imminent assault, the elderly priest tells the boy there can be no greater glory than to give one’s life for Christ.  Soldiers come and shoot the priest, and the boy goes to join the Cristeros, a peasant up-rising resisting the government’s persecution of the Church.  Too young to carry a rifle, Jose helps however he can, until he is captured by the government forces.  His father begs him to just deny Christ, to save his life, but Jose stands firm in his faith, and is consequently tortured and killed.  Part of his torture includes the cutting of his feet, and the scene showing him staggering to his open grave, his tortured feet bleeding and broken, is a powerful witness to his courage and faith.  The story is a true one, and the boy Jose is one of the child saints of Mexico, beatified on November 20, 2005.

   This story spoke to me especially because of the witness of Bp Joseph Madera, our spiritual leader for a pilgrimage trip to Mexico.  Bp Madera, 85 years old when I met him on pilgrimage, lived in Mexico through this time of persecution, and spoke of his personal experience of the cruelties inflicted on those who were remaining faithful to the Church.  He too spoke of the bleeding feet, as a particular frequent means of torture.

     Reverend Richard Wurmbrand, a Lutheran pastor who wrote TORTURED FOR CHRIST, is another witness to this form of persecution.  Living in Communist Russia, he was arrested and spent many years in Soviet prisons, where his own feet were brutally beaten.  When he was released after many years of confinement, he could no longer stand or walk without great effort and pain due to the tortures.  He came to the United States and shared his story of Soviet persecution of Christians, founding the VOICE OF THE MARTYRS, which is active today calling for awareness, prayer and help for persecuted Christians around the world.

      It was with all of these stories of bleeding feet and persecution stored in my mind that I was meditating on the washing of the feet by Jesus on the night before His crucifixion.  As I saw Him in my imagination with His disciples, the image changed; I was sitting in a chair, and the Lord was kneeling before me.   And my own feet were all bruised and bleeding.  With great care and tenderness, the Lord began to gently wash and bandage my feet.  All of us who strive to stand firm for Christ, and to walk with Him, find our feet bruised to a greater or lesser extent.  Life’s struggles and the wounds we incur are part of the human journey, or pilgrimage.

     This brings me back to the beginning of this reflection, and the book STRANNIK. 

Listening to the pain in the depths of men’s hearts is a call, and a gift.  By listening with compassion and love, we allow Christ’s healing grace to enter in to those areas of pain

and brokenness.  We don’t keep that pain within ourselves, but release it to the Lord, to be united with His sacrifice on the Cross.  This brings the freedom He desires for us; freedom to love Him and to love one another. 

      The call I associate with this gift of listening is the call I received to become a spiritual director.  Knowing we stand on holy ground when we listen to another’s heart, to walk so gently there and be an instrument of God’s healing grace for another, is a ministry sorely needed in the church today.  For those given the desire to draw closer to the Lord through prayer and reflection, having someone to listen with their heart in a safe and trusting relationship is a great help for the journey.  St. Therese Couderc, the Saint who appeared in the chapel at Our Lady of Divine Providence, was a quiet and humble soul whom the Lord sent to bring the Ignatian spiritual exercises to the Cenacle where I received training to become a spiritual director.  A quotation from this Saint hangs on the wall of the House of Prayer at the Cenacle, and states:  “What does it matter if my bare and cut feet fill my sabots with blood; I would willingly begin my journey again, I have found God so completely.”  

     So many thoughts about feet!  I can see them skipping across the crests of the waves, being washed in the waters of mercy…  and igniting sparks of glory!  I recently heard a program presenter speaking about discipleship, and he explained how a disciple must stay so very close to Jesus that as He walks, the dust from His feet comes to settle on his followers.  This thought re-surfaced in my prayer time when the word “walk” stood out for me, and I began to visualize myself following Jesus closely, with the dust rising from His footprints and coming to land on me.  Only the dust was being transformed into glory sparkles!  I pictured us heading toward the Cross, with the radiant sun rising behind it, and I was following exactly in Jesus’ footprints. And then I noticed that the footprints were blood- stained…  Blood and sparkles, suffering and glory ~ all on the road to the Resurrection.  When we stay so very close to Jesus, He gives us the grace to walk in the suffering, and the glory begins to appear even as we travel the path together…

     In Mexico we visited the church which is home to the “Poison Crucifix.”  The story related to us there was of a priest who had great devotion to Christ, and would often kiss His feet on the crucifix before he went home for the day.  There was a man who hated this priest, and wished him dead; he watched the priest daily kissing Jesus’ feet on the crucifix, and fixed on a plan to kill him.  He took some deadly poison and applied it to the feet of the crucifix, knowing that it’s potency would be enough to kill anyone touching their lips to the wood. The next day, the priest as was his custom came to kiss the feet before leaving for the night, and as he did so, the legs drew upward and the entire corpus turned black.  Christ had absorbed the poison, and the priest was unharmed.  His would-be assassin came to confession, where he was forgiven and converted; the now black crucifix stands today as a sign of Christ’s power and healing.

      I don’t remember when I first started kissing the feet of the crucifix I have hanging on the wall by my front door, but it’s become a devotion that brings me blessing and helps to keep me centered as I leave the apartment each day.  Perhaps the story of the poison crucifix was the catalyst as it touched my heart on our pilgrimage.  It also ties in with an experience related by Liz Kelly in one of her talks for her book study JESUS APPROACHES.  

     Liz related how when leaving Adoration, she would often quietly blow a kiss to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.  It was a small and private gesture, an intimate sign of her love for the Lord. Then on a retreat with Fr Zlatko Sudac it took on more meaning; as I recall, Liz related that they were having a time of Adoration and Fr Sudac was exiting after exposing the Blessed Sacrament, when he looked directly at Liz, and quietly blew her a kiss.  She was taken aback, both surprised and delighted, and afterwards Liz asked one of the group leaders if they had ever seen Fr do that before.  The leader responded that she had seen it too, and it was a first!

      Hearing this story, I thought of my quiet kiss for Jesus’ feet as I leave my apartment, and mused about Him kissing my own feet, which seemed very unlikely.  Then I recalled last Holy Thursday, when I had been asked to be one of the people who would have their feet washed by our pastor, Fr Luke.  We each sat on an interior aisle seat, and Fr made his way down the center, washing and, yes, placing a simple kiss on our foot.  I remember so clearly being surprised at this ( we didn’t know he was going to do this) and especially looking into his eyes after he had kissed my foot.  It was the closest I’ve ever come to seeing Jesus face to face, and brings my heart blessing when I recall it. The Lord had returned my simple apartment gesture through this holy priest, who was indeed that day in persona Christi for me.  The Lord knows our hearts – He knows my heart – and He showed me His own heart through this moment of grace.

       That’s enough foot thoughts for now; mine need a rest 🙂  I’m always amazed at how so many independent experiences can be woven together to form a bigger picture – always of God’s personal and intimate knowledge of us, and giving us just what we need to grow in faith and trust in Him…

      Lord God, grant us the grace to walk on the sharp stones of pain within others’ hearts, unafraid and without counting the cost, knowing that Your gentle hands will bring healing and wholeness to both of us on this pilgrimage to the Father’s House.  Saint Mother Couderc, pray for us…

Ps 16:5 ~ Safe  (7/14/96)

     The TV news was full of the airplane crash in Bosnia that had claimed the lives of US government officials and service people who were on an economic aid mission to help the people of the war-torn country.  Among those killed in the crash was my cousin Charlie, and it was in the course of responding to this tragedy that the concept of safety began to unfold in a different light for me.

     Searching for words to write just the right thing in condolence to our cousins, my mother called me looking for an adjective to describe faith.  She wanted to share with her nieces and nephews the depth and quality of faith that has sustained our family throughout its moments of tragedy.  Looking for the right words to express the kind of faith she knew in her heart, we tossed a few adjectives around, but didn’t arrive at the one she wanted, so we agreed to keep thinking about it and re-connect later.

     After an hour, the phone range and mom, with a note of satisfaction in her voice, related that she had found the adjective she had been searching for – it was “secure!”  “Secure faith” was just what she wanted to express!. The smile that instantly appeared on my face reflected my delight at another reminder of God’s hand at work – another “coincidence!”  In the last few weeks the kids and I had begun a game of putting Biblical quotations on a chalk board – the one I had picked for that morning was Psalm 16:5 – “Lord, you have made my destiny secure!” Secure – what a great word to describe faith!  I had picked the verse because of the thought of destiny, thinking about Charlie and his journey into eternity.  Mom and I both grinned at having arrived at the same word, and my grin expanded even more when I went to a Christian musical performance that evening and heard for the first time a song whose refrain included the phrase “our faith secure,” another affirmation of the rightness of the work choice.

     When I came home from the musical that night, I pulled out the dictionary and looked up our adjective, “secure,” and these are the definitions listed: “1) free from fear, care, doubt or anxiety; not worried, troubled or apprehensive. 2) free from danger; not exposed to damage, attack, etc; safe.  3) in safekeeping or custody. 4) not likely to fall or to give way; firm; strong; stable. 5) sure; certain  to be relied upon.”  What a great word!  And to couple that adjective with “faith” made it a real powerhouse!

     The word “secure” came to my mind often through the next few weeks, and especially coupled with the definition “safe” – they really spoke to me of the assurance of God’s presence.  It was after another tragedy that this sequence moved to a deeper level for me ~

     A young boy in our community had been hit by a train and lost both of his legs.  He was a member of our parish, and our whole small community was rocked at the tragedy and responded with messages of support and aid.  At the closing liturgy for our Catholic grade school, Fr. Len prayed for safety for all our kids this summer – the train accident was on his mind as on everyone else’s, and we prayed that no more tragedies would occur during the summer vacation.  Less than a week after the close of school, another family suffered a deep loss.  An eighth grade boy drowned in the rain swollen waters of the Wolf River.  At the funeral liturgy, Fr. Len expressed our collective grief, and his own feeling of personal loss at the death of a boy he knew well.  He spoke of how fragile life is, how greatly we need to cherish it, and his words echoed in everyone’s hearts.  He also spoke of the boy’s faith – it was a real faith, and Fr. Len expressed assurance that Bret knew his Lord and was with Christ.

     What had happened to our prayers for safety?  How could another tragedy happen so soon, especially after our hearts had been so lifted to the Lord for our children?  The connection with the secure faith my mother had been describing and the definition that included safety came to mind more and more.  For me the transition to safety in Christ became evident – surely there is not and cannot be any true measure of physical safety in this fragile world we live in; the only true safety is in the assurance of faith in Christ – in having our being entrusted to His Heart and abiding in Him.  My humanity longs for the tangible physical well-being of those I love – my spirit knows their actual wholeness rests in Christ.  Only when we have given our hearts to Him, and trust in His mercy, will we ever really be safe! 

     Ou lives here on this earth are so short, and so very fragile – a single instant transforms vibrant health to death – how can we possibly live in security unless we are grounded in Christ?  The words of St. Paul echo in my thoughts – “neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor height, not depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  (Rom 8:38-39).

 I thank the Lord for His gift of secure faith!