98) Create In Me A Clean Heart

Lent is upon us, the season of prayer, fasting and almsgiving. It’s a season of repentance, allowing the Holy Spirit to search our hearts, find what needs God’s Hand of Mercy, and drawing us to the Sacrament of Reconciliation to be washed clean in preparation for the celebration of Easter! The phrase “blot out or sins” has always caused me to stop and pay attention – Ps 51:9b calls for God to “turn away Thy face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.” What would that look like? The answer came to me in a moment of grace a few years ago.

A friend shared that there was a particular memory that the enemy often brought to her mind, and which had always been a source of deep shame. It happened so long ago, but kept re-appearing at times when she was tempted to slip into desolation and forget that the Lord had forgiven her of that failure. She had confessed it in a general way, but never specifically, and felt that God was calling her to go deeper in repentance.

The opportunity presented itself on retreat with a holy priest. After a beautiful talk about the healing gift of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, she approached the confessional and shared in detail the specifics of the sin. The good priest heard her confession, blessed her for her desire to be cleansed of the residue from this transgression, and absolved her of this sin. She left the confessional feeling the weight lifted, and in gratitude went to the chapel for Adoration, to thank God for this deeper cleansing.


As she sat before the tabernacle, images began to play in her mind. She saw herself sitting there, with Mother Mary next to her, her arm gently encircling her. They sat together at the foot of a huge crucifix, and on her lap was a photo album with pictures of the sin she had confessed. These were the images that the enemy had often reminded her of and which had been the source of her shame. Then slowly and gently, drops of Jesus’ precious blood began to drip down from the crucifix, landing directly on the photos and blotting out the images. They were like bleach blots, that when they landed completely obliterated the pictures, until there were all just pure white. Pure white, innocence and purity restored!

She related that now whenever the enemy sought to resurrect those images, all she saw were the clean white photos in the album, and she was reminded of the drops of Jesus’ blood which had washed away her sins. It always filled her with great joy and peace, and the comfort of being held by Mary as she received this healing. It’s another sign of God’s ability to redeem, and to make all things new!

As I go to Reconciliation soon, in preparation to celebrate Christ’s Resurrection, I go in gratitude for this great gift of grace! Indeed, He “blots out all my iniquities!” and cleanses me from my sins – Praise God for His Goodness and Mercy!

97) Stand Up For Jesus!

Secrets! Remember how fun it is to whisper a secret, knowing it’s a special surprise waiting to delight a friend? Perhaps for a birthday party, or a welcome home treat, the joy we experience at bringing unexpected delight to those we love is multiplied when shared with others. In Ignatian vocabulary, this can be called a non-spiritual consolation, which always has the potential to bring us to spiritual consolation, as a drawing nearer to God. This kind of secret can be healthy and holy! There’s another kind of secret that St Ignatius warns us to avoid however, and that’s when the enemy whispers to keep silent when our own spirit is troubled.

An example of this can be when we are tempted or have fallen in to entertaining thoughts or behavior that is not in line with our Christian values. In Rule 13 of the Rules for Discernment of Spirits, we are warned about keeping secret the whisper of the enemy that it’s ok to be unfaithful to our marriage vows. The quickest and most effective way to foil the enemy here is to do the opposite – to share this temptation with a trusted spiritual friend or spiritual companion who can help us to see the truth, and turn away from the deceptive tactic of the enemy. Even in just speaking this “secret” out loud, we can experience clarity in our spiritual vision, and gain the strength to confess our sin or temptation and return to the holy highway.

As I was praying about this, a memory came to mind that reminded me of this rule in a slightly different context. Growing up with a strong Christian faith, I was invited at an early age to publicly confess my faith in Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord. No secret here! Be strong and bold to declare my Savior! Many years later, after I had been blessed to enter the Catholic faith, we were at a large gathering of Catholics for a mini retreat. The Pastor of the Church proclaimed the Gospel, and then invited us all to stand up if we were ready to give our lives to Jesus. That had never been presented like that to this group, and there was silence, and not a soul budged from their pew. Then slowly, a few of us stood up! It took several minutes, and a few more exhortations from the pastor, for people to stand.

What was keeping us all silent? This was a group of committed Christians, many of whom shared a deep and holy faith. Was it the unexpected request that caused the delay – or was it the enemy whispering, “don’t be so public!” “This isn’t the way we show our faith!”
To me it was the invitation to be more bold, and to stand up for Jesus! Not to hesitate, but to be ready and able to declare Jesus as Lord! No longer to hide what I believe, nor keep it secret, but to be happy and proud of my Catholic faith, in gratitude for all it has given me in this life, and in the promise of eternal life.

To me it was the invitation to be more bold, and to stand up for Jesus! Not to hesitate, but to be ready and able to declare Jesus as Lord! No longer to hide what I believe, nor keep it secret, but to be happy and proud of my Catholic faith, in gratitude for all it has given me in this life, and in the promise of eternal life.
Secrets. So many different kinds of secrets, some healthy and holy, and others tricks of the enemy. We need the gift of the Spirit to discern well, to bring to light what is meant to be revealed.

Lord God, help us to grow in the gift of discernment, to be able to sort out from the variety of possible responses those which are most pleasing to You. Especially Lord, give us the courage and boldness to never keep our trust in You secret, but be willing to stand up for You in gratitude for Your gift of Life…